BAD SLEEPING HABBITS!

[Meenans]

Hello,

This is my first post on mumsnet, so I hope it's in the right place!

I Have a 15 month old daughter, who is an absolute angel (most of the time) during the day... however, her bedtime is horrendous!

It's completely my fault, as when she was about 6 months old, she was really poorly, couldn't breath through her nose etc, and so kept waking up in the night. Because she was my first, and could think of nothing nicer than cuddling up to her in our bed, she started to snuggle up with us every night.

It was fine at first, as she wasn't much of a problem, and slept quite happily through the night, however now she's 15 months old, and tall, we are kicked in the face, head-butted, slapped etc throughout the night! She is such a fidget!!

I tried to get her back into her cot, but the second I bent down to put her in it she would SCREAM to high heaven, and if I ever just left her in there, she would throw herself out the cot and end up really hurting herself (the cot wont go down any lower! She's quite a climber!)

So I thought that I'd change her cot into her little cot bed, so that she couldn't cause herself any injury. I decorated her bed area to make it all girly, and she loved it.... during the day. She will sit on it and play in it, read books, put her teddies to bed etc, but she just wont go down herself.

So our current routine is that I get into our double bed with her, while she's tucked in my arm, wait for her to fall asleep, and then move her into her bed. She will wake up guaranteed at about 12.00am and demand that I put her into our bed, and no amount of cuddling, coo-ing, or snuggling in her bed will make any difference.

I'm now at my wits end as haven't had a night sleep for 9 months, I'm lethargic during the day, and feel like I'm missing on on playing with her properly as I'm always so tired. Hubby is obviously fine as apparently 'he never hears her cry!' lol.

But now I'm going back to college full time in September, to start a new career. Isla will be going to nursery full time, and not only am I worried about how she'll nap in the day, but I'm worried about how I'll cope studying full time with no sleep, and have realised that things have got to change.

Does anyone please have any tips as to what I can do???

Thank you

Gradual withdrawal? It worked for us, DS (18 months) now sleeps in his cot most nights, and self settles in a few minutes, but when he wakes up or is poorly one of us sleeps with him in his room (our bed is not big enough for the three of us - not for a comfortable sleep that is).

You did the right thing by co-sleeping. What else were you supposed to do, leave her to cry when she was poorly? Try not to look at this as your "fault". Fair enough, you might struggle a bit now, but her sleep can be fixed, as long as you are consistent (so hard when you are shattered though, you and your DH need to do this together). I don't agree with CC or CIO, but gradual withdrawal is gentler I think, although it will most likely take longer. There might be crying, but you will comfort your DD all the time. A version of gradual withdrawal is described on the Sleep boards, the title of the thread is "What worked for us". I played it by ear and didn't set a specific number of days for each step. My goal was to get DS to fall asleep in his bed, if we had night wakings one of us would go and lie down with him (we were both exhausted). But 2 months down the line I can hear DS self settling if he wakes at night and the night wakings reduced considerably.

Good luck!

Totally agree with tootired, we did the same thing at 3 months when DD had a cold and although I've had people seem shocked that I put DD in bed with me, I know I did the right thing.

Gradual withdrawal sounds like a good solution, have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution too?

If you want a solution that will work more quickly but involve a bit of crying (not controlled crying or Cry It Out), then let me know and I can send you the details in a PM...

Worked for us (in smimilar situation) within 3 nights and has worked for other mums on here too...

*similar! Not smimilar!

Meenans forgot to say welcome to MN .

How are you getting on now?

Hello all! Thank you all so much for posts!

I can deal with a bit of crying, as I know she's going to no matter what I do!

The gradual withdrawal does sound like a good way.

I haven't put anything in place yet as we've been visiting family and wanted to start her off in her own room.

I'm not sure where to look for the 'what worked for us' or 'no cry sleep solution' - I'm a bit rubbish when it comes to this site - so much going on!

And I would love to hear it please IWillOnlyEatBeans! Thank you!!

You could make the cot into a bedside cot if it converts to a bed, which would mean she can be close to you but you can push her over into her own space in the middle of the night if she's wriggling. Also, it helps her get used to the environment of the cot so that when you move her properly it won't be such an alien idea for her.

No Cry Sleep Solution is a book, you can search google for it to find the amazon link and also the author's website which has some tips from the book.

Message sent! :)

I can deal with a bit of crying, as I know she's going to no matter what I do!, well they don't have to cry, there are many methods, including gradual withdrawal where they don't cry. It is entirely upto you though whether you are happy to let your baby cry.

This is the No Cry Sleep Solution, haven't read it for a long time but pretty sure it has a section on transition from bed sharing to cot. You might also like 31 ways to get your baby to sleep and stay asleep .

DS cried loads when we tried gradual withdrawl! Not everything works the same with all children. If we had persisted with that method I'd still be sitting next to him holding his hand for 45 mins every night...