Baby refusing bed time feed

[Munchkinmommy]

Hoping to get some advise as not sure what to do. My little girl is almost 16 weeks. Since she was 5 weeks she has slept through the night. The bed time feed has always been a bit of a struggle; up until recently it was wind causing the problem along with her being tired, but she did eventually take 140ml. But the last few days we have atruggled to get her to take more than 40ml, she falls asleep and we end up having to put her down and she will wake up about 8pm wanting more milk. It is such a shame as the evening routine was working well. I am wondering what has changed and why she has started to reject the bottle. I have a feeling she is just not hungry that early, not enough to take to full feed but I don't know what to do to solve the problem. If I just feed her at 8pm the see is so tired and distressed.

Since 6 weeks she hasn't slept much during the day; she has 2-3 20-30 min naps. As she sleeps through from 8/9pm to 6/7am I have not worried too much. Gradually she has become more tired in the evenings so we have bought her bath and bed time forward to a bath at 6:30 and that seemed to help temporarily; she took her bottle and slept through.
Her feeding routine is:
She has a bottle at 7am, 180ml and then I struggle to get her to take it again before 10:30. Then she has another about 1:30 and then 4:30 and 7:30. I have tried to bring the feeds forward so her bed time feed isnt too late but she won't have it.
Seems like I can either try to get her to feed earlier/closer together in the day so that she has her last feed and is hungry earlier, but not sure how to do this, carry on as we are or try and keep her up until she's hungry. Any advise would be great as I am not sure what to do. Should a 4 month old be going to bed at 7/7:30? Thanks

16 weeks is still pretty young, it's fantastic that you have a routine but my advise is to relax a little bit and allow DD to lead you until you find a cycle that you can both follow comfortably.If she's not hungry, she's not hungry, waking up once at 8pm for a feed at 4 months old is pretty good you should be proud hehe

Could you only fill the bottle half full at her 4.30 feed? My dd likes to know the bottle is empty so I used to give her a smaller afternoon feed then she was happy to take a bigger bedtume one.

Cannot remember the ins and outs of my DCs feeds but what is screaming out to me from what you have said is that your DD is ready to go to 4 hour gaps between feeds - so you need to be thinking about upping the amount in each feed by a couple of ounces (not sure of ml equivalent) and then reducing the number. From what I remember it is about 4 months they can start taking 7/8 z bottles rather than 6 oz bottles. Got no recollection of how I did it (one was bf one ff) but it is a gradual process over a few days. I used the Baby Whisperers method to make the change and ultimately we got to a 7/11/3/7 pattern. No longer got the books so sorry am so vague. Google may help?

She is telling you she doesn't want as many feeds - and be very please she is sleeping through the night!

I wouldn't change anything tbh - if she's sleeping through the night and feeding well in her own routine, it sounds absolutely great. My DS settled into a routine quickly but it wasn't what I thought he should be doing so tried to change it. All it did was throw him completely off and stop him sleeping through!

Good luck and enjoy x

Thanks ladies. Yes guess I am pretty lucky. I don't mind her waking at all it's just that she seems really upset when she does, it's that which concerns me. Keeping her up stresses her so much too as she's so tired. Yeah, maybe reducing the 4:30 will help, worth a try but have a feeling she will get upset because she's still hungry. Guess its about finding the best way.

Thanks comeonecomeon. That's what's worrying me. If it ain't broke don't fix it ey? I just feel awful that she's getting so upset when she's waking at 8pmfor the rest of her feed.

Thanks fish fingers. I had wondered if she might be trying to do that tbh but then read that they don't reduce their feeds until 5 months. Guess she could be going through this change a few weeks early, would make a lot of sense. Will read up on how to go about it :-)

I think she's ready to go longer between feeds too, maybe 10.30 is too early for her bottle, she wants to wait till 11?

At 4 months DS still had a nap about 6-7 then got up, bath, read, bottle & bed for 8-8.30.

She could be overtired during the day though, until 6 months DS needed to nap after 1.5 hrs, now it's after about 2 hours at 7 months, sometimes he goes longer but normally 3 naps a day, 4 some days (I've noticed if we're still out about 6 but trying to bring bedtime to 7.30)!

She has started waking up half an hour later too. How did you go about extending the time but ensuring she has enough by bed time? I am worried that she won't have any more than the 180ml she's having now.

I recall DD was on the 7am/11am/3pm routine pretty spot on but again not that hungry at 7pm but ready for bed...so used to give her half sized bottle and then do a dream feed (she stayed asleep) at 10ish.

Oh and my DS has always had 5 bottles - at 7mo he is on (roughly) 7am, 9.30 then nap for 2.5 hrs then 1.30, 20 min nap in afternoon, 5pm and after bath at about 7.30pm.

I do remember that moving from a late bedtime to earlier solved a lot of overtiredness issues, but also mucked up the feeding routine for a while. Best if you can move it back gradually. But yes ime prob time to move bath/bed back to 7ish.

Its a lot imo to get 5 feeds into the 'day' and never managed it with either of mine. I would try to spread them all out and make the 4.30 feed the bedtime one. Then you have a dreamfeed/ nightfeed left. I really think very few babies get into a set routine before 6 months - they'll do something for a few weeks then it all changes again. It sounds like she is going the right way sleep wise so just try to relax and feed her when she wants.