Just screeched at ds(4) - now I feel terrible!

[harrisey]

Not my 4th son, my ds who is 4.
He's normally a lovely boy and very good natured, huggy, kissy, love yooooo mummy etc etc.
Lately he has though taken to saying 'no' and shouting when I tell him what to do. I was gettng him to clear the table for tea (he usually does this with no fusss) just now when he shouted at me 'i not doing what you tell me mummy'. I lost it - its been a long day, dd2 is teething so was up a lot last night, and screamed at him 'you will do what I say' . Of course he cried.
I was sorry right away and cuddled him etc but now I am all feeling all crap and shaky.
Have I scarred him for life?

Of course you haven't scarred him - you know you probably could have dealt with it better but we all lose our rag every now and then. My DS is exactly the same, he will try to push it, but is otherwise lovely. I sometimes find myself screeching at him, but always feel guilty afterwards and he gets upset so nothing good comes of it. But well done you for getting through the day after being up all night with a teething baby - I remember what that was like!!!.

God, I have done this a number of times! DD1 (5) now says to me "ok, we said sorry for what we did wrong, now you say sorry for shouting".

And I do.

Thanks ladies.
I'm a relaxed mummy most of the time and this is the first time I have really really screamed at one of my kids. Poor boy was a bit shocked, hence the crying.
He's now cuddled up beside me on the sofa having devoured his tea.
Hope dd2 sleeps better tonight, its her molars coming in, she's 2, and stands in her cot shouting pleeeeeeease Mummy owwwwww.

harrisey - Lots of MNers have found that 4 year olds suddenly start arguing back, and experimenting with deliberatley being naughty - like you ds's 'I not doing what you tell me mummy!'. Since yoiu are obviously under pressure with a teething baby, it might be as well to have a few plans ready in your back pocket, so that you aren't caught out in a bad moment. Either plan to ignore him or give a v low key response, or maybe joke himm into a more co-operative mood, or 'let's race, can you clear the table before I get the potatoes out'.
Hope dd sleeps better tonight!

blu - great tips! Racing is a good one for him at the moment, he is a 'big boy' in his own eyes and wants to be first. I plan today to take it easier and just ignore the naughtiness - he's the kind of kid who loves and audience even if its a negative one, so ignoring the naughty comments will make him bored of them.
DD2 slept a bit better, I doped her up on nurofen before she went to bed!
Ds is at nursery till 12 so I have a bit of a respite, dd2 is in the bath and I'm sitting on the bathroom floor with my wireless laptop and MN!!!!