bath/shower hysteria.

[Astr0naut]

DS used to love his baths. HE could tolerate a shower, but baths were great. He also loves to swim and can spend hours in a pool. He's 2.10.

For about the last month, bath time has been incredibly stressful, as he just doesn't want to go in the bath or have a shower. He claims it's 'too hot', but as his 8 month old sister is perfectly content, he's talking bollocks.

Ds cries when it's time to get in and hovers above the water. If he actually stays there, he wants to get out after about 5 minutes, then cries (increasingly hyterically) until dd is out, and her chair, and the flannel, and the toys. Once everything's out, he calms down.

Showers are a screamathon from beginning to end.

I thought it might be a phase or him pushing boundaries, but it doesn't appear to be ending. WHen asked, he just tells me he 'don't like the bath'. Utterly bemused. ANyone else's toddler been through this?

Ours always hated baths and showers but shower is mercifully short and showering with her to start with helped calm her down a lot. She is a lot better now that she can put soap and shampoo on herself (23 MO) and has toys to play with etc. She still doesnt enjoy hair washing but tolerates it if there is something to distract her or if you let her lather the shampoo herself. Does none of this work for your little boy? What about a new bath gadget/toy for him to play with in the bath or shower? Would he be distracted by washing a doll or helping to wash his sister (with your help of course) in the bath? Blowing bubbles? We used to blow bubbles to distract ours from when she was tiny, but of course now she wants to do it herself and generally just tips the bubble solution down the drain in the shower! Might be worth a try for older child though.

Do they have to bathe together? Could DD have the first bath and then DS jump in while you dry, change and feed DD?

How about saying if you have a nice bath you can have 2 stories at bedtime?

gourd, haven't tried letting him do his own shampoo, might be worth a go.

Jilted, bathing together came about because he likes doing things with her. Besides, now we've started it, I think he'd get panicky if we stopped and there'd be lots of "don't forget Dsis! Where's Dsis?"

We've have to up the stories to 3 - he has 2 already!

I have a feeling he's frightened of the plug hole, but he won't admit it. He spends an awful lot of time telling us that he's not afraid of the plughole, and that he won't go down it. Protesting too much?

Plug hole fear is very common. We've been through it here and at about the same age. He calms down once everything is out of the bath right? Dd was the same. She was very verbal at this age so we got to the bottom of it eventually. They don't understand that things bigger than the plug hole won't go down and think they and all the toys and little sister will all get sucked down that scary hole and get washed out TO SEA!!! I didn't say toddlers were rational...
So how did we get put of it? With patience, we did baths every other night but let dd1 just stand and watch dd2 having a GREAT time in the bath no pressure. Once dd1 was out we took out all the toys and let her stand on the opposite side to the plug while we washed her hair and body. Then out this was at the beginning very very stressful and screams but the child had to be washed, once she was safe and calm and wrapped in a towel I explained over and over that nothing but water went down the hole and as the water drained put back in various toys to show that they didn't go anywhere. Eventually one evening she asked to get in and play with dd1 she had squirty bottles to play with and was having a GREAT time (lots of ott fun fun fun children's tv presenter type talk from us ) she sat at the opposite end first time and after that she seemed to just get over it and didn't care where she sat. Took three weeks and lots of patience and a gentle firm inevitability about the having to stand in to get washed

Quickly. They really get quite terrified. Good luck