How do I approach holiday with family - food problems

[Molehillmountain]

We're on holiday with dh's family and their children. Their children have a very limited, often brand specific and changeable range of foods they will eat. It's pretty deep rooted and isn't going to change overnight. Has been five up until now but dd, 6, is starting to ask why she can't have nuggets every night and why she can't have one of the ice creams that have been bought specially for dn because he'll only eat those ones. Ours won't eat everything but we pretty much expect them to eat what's on offer to the family because they usually will. There is no dietary need involved as such. I'm struggling for an explanation that won't imply to dd that either we're being unfair to her or won't imply that dn's eating is unhealthy or in any way not okay. And I don't think I can go down the "please can dd have the same as dn?" route because his options are more expensive and since dd will eat what's being provided then that feels wrong. Or am I over thinking when a simple "because that's what they do and this is what we do" would suffice?

We have this. Nephew is fussy. My boys are not generally too bad, and I don't usually pander to fussiness in the same way that in-laws do - for example they will let him leave his dinner then make him a snack 10 minutes later when he says he's hungry.

It is awkward, as mine then start trying it on too - we had a conversation last time he stayed as to why I was not going to peel their pears for them even though granny was doing so for nephew. I'm not signing up for pear-peeling.

We've just used the "this is what they do and this is what we do" line.

I think with treat food like ice cream it is only fair that she can have the same as him, and when it's gone it's gone. With nugget type food, I'd just say, dn can't have this lovely chicken/ fish whatever.

Did you sort something out?

One of the many reasons we never holiday with anyone else.

Unfortunately unless you have a fussy eater it is very easy to judge. DD will eat quite a lot of things, but can be embarrassingly fussy at times, so I can sort of see the other family's point of view.

I would just go along with EndoplasmicReticulum's suggestion.

Sounds like a pickle to me!!

I'd say:

"Because you're a very good girl and eat lots of different types of delicious food where ___ only likes certain foods so that's what he eats... right so... what shall we cook for lunch?"

Get your daughter involved with cooking with you - let her try the foods as you are cooking them and maybe you will encourage the other child(ren) to be involved! I'd give in sometimes - an icecream a day isn't going to hurt and nuggets every other night isn't bad when you're on holiday but make sure you highlight to her its a treat!

NannyChels

So are you saying that special food is bought for your child's cousin which is more expensive and that's why your child can't have it?

Or is it that you don't want your child eating that food.

Does the cousin have sen btw? Not that it really matters to the issue?

DSDs are like this, it is difficult. DS eats anything and everything and i don't like him eating junk. Having said that, when we're on holiday together i tend to relax a bit on the basis that DS's diet is brilliant on the whole so a week of not so good food really will make very little difference. Or are there any healthier foods at all that your DN will eat? Pasta? Home made cheesy mashed potato and sausages? We now tend to say we're not cooking separate foods for everyone so they have to eat the same things for ease if nothing else. Sometimes it's the slightly healthier )though not brilliant) option. Sometimes it's a Macdonalds...

And i would just explain to your DD after the holiday that she won't be eating chicken nuggets every night because you and DH don't like them and you want to eat good food as a family. There's no harm in explaining to her why you want her to eat good food - the alternative is expensive and not very nutricious.

Went with neutral line "all families do different things and this is what we do". There is a freezer full of different lollies, of which all but one are nice, but own brand ones, which dd likes. But when she sees the just for dn expensive branded ones she goes for that but is told no because they're the only ones dn likes. I don't mind a bit of junk, in balance and on holiday we let them have more treats than usual. But usually not completely on demand, eg if they had an icecream when we were out I don't think they need on on arriving home an hour later. Dn has no sen except his extreme fussiness with food which I think actually needs understanding and sensitivity now because it's beyond the "well if you don't fancy that tough" kind of approach. Especially not our job to get involved. It's that middle ground I find hard to find because I want to teach dd about balanced diet and treats in moderation but not imply criticism of dn's diet. Aargh! Anyway, we've just about got on okay for the holiday with me roughing it out when three year old Ds is screaming for the ice cream I've said no to but he sees his cousin eating. And actually, the meal thing isn't that tricky because they do like most meals so don't really ask for nuggets every night. Thanks for your help. I'm no diplomat that's for sure and trying to make sure it's a happy holiday for all!

Are you worried about self-catering together, or eating out?