Pocket money advice please

[MrsEricBana]

My ds aged nearly 12 is haranguing me for "an allowance". He has had pocket money before but I have not been consistent in giving it and have not specified what should come out of it. Because of this he has been reluctant to spend any money he has accumulated (particularly because he is worried it will not be replenished as I am not consistent in giving). So, I think his request is reasonable but would like to know what you do in terms of:

• how much per week/month at this age?
• what should he cover with it?
• how should we manage it? e.g just give him cash, pay monthly amount into some sort of account where it can accumulate or not.
• if a child has purchasing power then how do you stop them buying things you wouldn't have bought for them e.g. excessive sweets?

(I have set up a building society account in ds name where ds and dd child benefit and any other lumps of money they might receive builds up and they never touch that). Thanks!

When the boys were 12 we set them up with a current account and a cash card. They cannot go overdrawn, but otherwise the account functions as any regular one.

Each month they get a standing order of £90. That sounds a lot, but during term time input includes £10 per week for lunches and £12 per week for bus fares.

They then manage their money completely and pay for any cinema trips, treats, phone top ups, extra bus fares etc.

I had anticipate increasing it by now (ds1 is 15) to include an allowance for clothes and haircuts. But neither of them shows any interest in either clothes or haircuts, so for now we're shelving that idea!

They also get any birthday money or earnings paid into these accounts.

Thanks Roisin - I had thought cash card would be the way to go - for us lunches and bus fares doesn't come into it yet but the point about them managing their own money is very good. I guess I need to work out what I would expect him to pay for with it - books, magazines, downloads, treats etc. He would like £7/wk or £10/wk but that sounds too much to me as the basics are all covered. £5/wk or £20/month sounds right to me for starters.

Yes, mine end up with about £20 a month, after lunches and bus fares.

I don't intend increasing it much, as I want them to have some motivation to get a part-time job ... But it isn't working so far!

But the system works well: we made it clear what they are responsible for and they never come whining to us for cash - they just mana huge it themselves. They are both little misers too: buy super cheap lunches and rack up the savings!

I've not needed to worry at all about them frittering their cash or buying lots of sweets, as they have been very sensible since they had their own money to manage!

There are limits to their freedom though: so, for example, I don't allow computer games or DVDs which are older than their age. They know that rule would apply even if they went out and bought it themselves. But I don't censor much: part of the learning curve of money management is having the freedom to make some unwise choices!

Ds1 (15) and DS2 (nearly 13) get an allowance paid into an account which has a debit card.

Ds1 gets £40 and Ds2 £24. They do NOT have to pay for any lunches/bus fares out of this, only phone top ups.

Ds1 is more of a saver than a spender whereas Ds2 spends his straight away.