4yr old who will only use the potty and not a toilet!

[5madthings]

ok ds4 was 4 in march, he has been potty trained since last summer.

when he was first trained he was funny about using a toilet rather than the potty but would do it reluctantly, ditto weeing/pooing when out or staying away from home.

however over the past few months he is point blank refusing to wee or poo anywhere other than in the potty and at home!

he will hold on ALL day to the point of busting but will not wee anywhere, same at pre-school, then on the half an hour walk home he will be desperate for a wee but even tho we go over a field and he could wee in bush/against a tree, he refuses.

i can sometimes get him to 'try' to wee when out but he will stand and try and say it wont come out!

dp has taken him camping this wkend, and he has refused to go to the toilet, resulting in him wetting himself whilst asleep, to the point of soaked pj's, sleeping bag etc depsite having a pull on (he is still in them at night tho they are normally dry in the morning i just havent got round to night time training)

anyway this is jsut proving to be a nightmare, i have tried, bribery and corruptin, start charts etc and he is NOT having it! we go away next week and i am going to have to take the soddin potty with me!

cleaning poo out of the potty is RANK, he needs to use the toilet, but how? we have a toilet seat and step so that he shoudl feel safe sitting on it, its one HE chose actually a thomas one.

plus he starts school in sept! he has been going to pre-school but wont use the toilets there either.

i am really not sure what to do about this, he is my 4th son and the others had moments of not wanting to use the toilet or go when somewhere strange but his ability to hold on ALL day is actually pretty impressive! but i am sure its not good for his bladder?

anyway i i need it sorted, so has anyone else had a toilet refuser? any hints, tips or advice?

yours exasperated mum!

meant to say he wont even wee standing at the toilet! it has to be say on the potty, have tried to encourage him to be like his brothers etc, but he just wont do it or tries and says it wont come out, then sits on the potty and does a HUGE wee 2 mins later!

BUMP, anyone?

do said it was terrible this morning at the campsite, they were getting ready to go to the beach and ds4 was crying and wanting to come home so he could have a wee :( he got himself in a right state apparently, would use the toilets. ds2 weed in a bush to show him how to do it but he left it till he literally couldnt hold it in and wet his pants a bit before stripping off and then weeing but it was very traumatic for him :(

Oh no sounds awful for everyone.

DS2 is 3 and although he potty trained quickly he wouldn't move from potty to toilet. He would never go outside the house and would hold it at nursery till he got home and he could go on his potty.

I didn't have this problem with older DCs and didn't know what to do. I just let him keep using the potty as he had such an iron bladder.

Then he started weeing over the edge of the potty every time and I ran out of patience. The only thing I could think of to do was to start all over again with the toilet as I had with the potty.

I got rid of the potties and went cold turkey, with rewards for using the toilet. Lots of going to the toilet with DS1 and DH and lots of praise. I even had toilet songs and stories that we only used on the toilet Would this kind of thing work for your DS?

no i dont think so, i have tried silly songs, making it a game, he has 3 big brothers to copy as well as dp!

and the ironic thing is he DID wee in the toilet for a while (no poo tho) and he actually taught one of his litle friends to wee in the toilet! and i dont know what has happened for him to go backwards like this?

we go away next week and i am just going to take the potty with us and then try and come up with a plan for when we get back. i just want it sorted before he starts school, it really cant be good for his bladder.

also he WILL sit on the toilet and stand at the toilet and TRY to wee etc, but says it wont come out. he dosent seem to be scared of the toilet as such but cant relax to 'go' its really very odd!

btw that should be dp up there and wouldN'T use the toilets!

and yes we get the wee over the edge of the potty as well as he is too big for it!

What I find with DS2 is that he will sit on toilet for a while and say oh no no wee. Then I get him up, go myself, and then if I can persuade him to sit down again, he will go. It's like he can't relax enough that first time because he's nervous of sitting on the toilet.

My eldest did exactly the same. We even had one of those fold up toilet seats which I could put on the toilet seat to make it smaller. Had to get a bigger handbag to fit it in, but not as large as the handbag I needed to fit his potty into.

If' it's any consolation, it will pass. For us, one day he announced that his bottom had grown and was now as big as mummy's so he wouldn't fall into the toilet so that was fine. Of course, I was upset to have my arse compared in this way, but it did clear space in my handbag...

we have a toilet seat for him already, and a step etc but that has made no difference.

will try the sitting him on thing, getting him off, me going and then trying him again! we do let him try regularly when out etc, sometimes he doesnt even want to try, but often he will try and just say its not coming out! its very odd!

special loo paper we havent tried, i could let him pick some with pictures on the next time we buy some!

and yes a book on drains he likes stuff like that :) thankyou :)