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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

should i allow dd to be left-handed or try coax her into being right-handed

92 replies

hazlinh · 07/03/2006 08:04

i've always had a hunch that dd, now 2, is left-handed. she has shown left hand tendencies since she was born. and is now quite strongly left-handed but the nanny and my mother, who mainly take care of her, didn't seem to think anything about it and have been trying to make her use her right hand for eating and stuff. I think they just think she's too young to realise the difference between her right and left hand, iykwim.
anyway i'm getting quite concerned about this, because i am beginning to think that i should just tell the nanny to get off her case and let her develop the use of her left hand naturally. but how does one know if she really is left-handed?? and i am worried about any future problems, because i have absolutely no experience of lefthandedness and no one in the family is lefthanded so we wouldnt know how to start dealing with it..and where i am, (in asia) i dont think it's easy to find leftie scissors and things...
basically, does anyone have any advice for me? anyone been through this before??help..

OP posts:

NatalieJane · 08/03/2006 09:25

We always thought our DS was left handed but now he has started writing letters and things he does write with his right hand. He looks as if he will be the same as me, writes with right hand, everything else is done with left hand, we never put any preasure on him to be right handed though, I can't really understand why someone would try to change it?

Marina · 08/03/2006 09:26

Remember Hazlinh is in Asia and this pressure is coming from a (local?) nanny and her mum...there could be lingering cultural associations with left-handedness that are difficult to deal with tactfully but firmly.
Any news Hazlinh?

notasheep · 08/03/2006 09:27

Great that she has a dd then

Kelly1978 · 08/03/2006 09:39

marina is right about the view of lefthandness in some asian countries. I don't know about muslims, but my partner is indian, and the left hand is for personal hygiene, so we would never eat or do any religious rituals with our left hand. It would be considered quite rude to eat with your left hand. I'm not sure how writing left handed would be a problem, though it might be a respect thing.

Kelly1978 · 08/03/2006 09:41

oh and you shouldn't pass anything with your left hand neither.

turniphead · 08/03/2006 09:44

can't be believe the title of this thread

katyrocks · 08/03/2006 09:45

i can't believe this ! . - well gobsmacked tbh. Find a new nanny. please. Do you want to damage your child?

Right-brain dominance (hence left-handedness) brings, in addition, creativity, musical ability, logic, (maths) and other gifts. You don't have have a say in the matter. The dominant side of the brain, (and hence which hand you write with), is genetically predetermined, and way beyond any manipulation.

My Grandfather physically punished for being left handed at school, resulting in him being unable to write tidily at all. If he'd been alive today, bless him, he'd have been in his 90's. does that tell you anything?

I have never had any problems - in fact I am proud to be left-handed

check out the history books and then see if the famous names do anything to sway the nanny and your mothers opinion

katyrocks · 08/03/2006 09:47

PS i do understand cultural influences can be very strong - but you have to take a firm stance on this one - good luck

Kelly1978 · 08/03/2006 09:49

it's not so straightforward in Asian culture though. You can't just jump in assuming the situation is the same as in western countries.Hazlinh has to consider that being left handed will probably cause its own problems. She has to weigh they up against the problems that forcing right handedness might cause.

Blackduck · 08/03/2006 09:50

Both my MIL and BIL are left handed (my MIL secretly hopes ds will be as none of her other gandcildren are!) Basically I've never seen either of them have a problem ... and agree it should be left to the child -

HeyThereGeorgieGirl · 08/03/2006 09:58

I'm left handed, with a tendancy to be ambidexterous. I've never had a problem with cutlery, scissors or writing. Only problem I have is putting mascara on my right eye lashes!!! But that could just be a case of having 30 seconds in the morning to get ready

I'd just leave your DD to get on with it. if that's what she's happy doing, then why interfer with her natural tendancies?

katyrocks · 08/03/2006 09:59

sorry - i thought this was a discussion forum....? didn't hazlinh ask for advice? I haven't assumed anything - i'm very aware of asian culture and would still would put the child's mental and emotional wellbeing first.

the child can be taught local etiquette and culture once she is old enough to understand, but interfering with her motor development is wrong.

TambaTheDragonSlayer · 08/03/2006 10:03

Im left handed as are both of my ds's. Its never been a problem.

BagelBird · 09/03/2006 09:34

I am left handed and have two lovely little girls who are also left handed. Like many other left handed people, I am irritated that there are still people out there who think that it is a problem, that it could "hold them back" to the point that they consider even trying to "deny" or "change" it. The only thing holding left handed people back is through ignorance of some (few) right handed people who see it as a problem.
Hazlinh, please don’t be offended by my irritation, though, just hope this thread has shown you that there is nothing even slightly wrong with left handedness.
You will need to watch out for a few things to support your child though.
When you write/draw, the traditional left to right way of writing means that it is slightly more awkard. However, as soon as you learn to turn the paperclockwise a certain amount, it is straightforward - no more smudging.
Scissors and things like potato peelers can be tricky. I ended up learning to cut with my right hand because leftie scissors weren’t around when I was young. However, I wish I had learnt with my left hand as I would have been neater! Other little things need careful teaching - particularly if they learn by copying you - sewing, ironing, etc need teaching with an awareness. My mum found teaching me in a mirror image way - facing me rather than side by side worked well.
My DD1 joined a gymnastic club recently. I was stunned and annoyed that they were trying to get her to learn to do a cartwheel with her right foot/hand forward - no chance! I told them that she was left handed and that she would find it much easier and they told me that it didn’t matter..wtf?? After a few heated words. they agreed to try the other way and, sure enough, it had much more success. That has been about the only battle I have ever had to fight for her other hef handedness. Schools are much more aware and no longer try to force you to use your right (like they did with me until my mum stepped in).

On a positive note, a lot of athletes, musicians and artists are left handed. There are lots of theories to do with brain emphasis why this should be the case. What it does show is that it is hardly a physical or mental hindrance. I found it easier to learn to play the piano as my stronger left hand could cope with heavier chords and more physical demands of the average baseline over the right. Playing a violin and guitar was much easier for me too as the left hand does all the fancy stuff :)

bumpybel · 09/03/2006 09:58

Apparently alot of the royal family are left handed!

Myself, and DH are both lefties and I'd love it if 'due in July' turns out to be one too! Left handers tend to be more creative.

My grandpa was one of those lefties, caned to make him right handed, and his writing is dreadful now.. so much so that he types everything.

I'd encourage it! I've got by without leftie scissors etc..

prettybird · 09/03/2006 10:35

One thing I thought I'd mention is that not all left handers swivel the paper. Some of them (eg me! ) are "hook handers" - ie that twist their wrist in order to see their writing. I'm not as "hook handed" as some - it's just my pen/pencil that is at 90 degrees tot he line of my arm (pointing away from me), but some left handers look quote awkward - but normal for them - as their wrist can by some "bent" that the pen is at 180 degrees to the line of the arm, ie the point of the pen/pencil is facing towrds the elbow.

I think in fact it is to do with eye dominance - hook handers are usually still right eyed dominant (as most right handers are) - but I am not sure about that.

georginarf · 09/03/2006 10:40

yes, I am left handed and have never needed special left handed anything - so if that's the problem re being in Asia, it shouldn't matter at all. I don't have to do anything special with my hand to write and have always had very neat handwriting and am also good at drawing etc.

definitely tell the nanny to leave her be.

SecondhandRose · 09/03/2006 10:42

I am left handed, all the best people are! You don't need left handed objects, we just adapt. I do have fun with potato peelers though!

Agree with Moondog.

georginarf · 09/03/2006 10:58

oh forgot to say, although I'm left handed for writing, I do lots of things with my right hand - scissors, tennis, throwing things etc. She may not be fully left handed anyway.
as for eating - well you use a fork with your left hand, so does it really matter if she's eating with her left hand? Not sure why the nanny is trying to change that....

3LittleMonkeys · 09/03/2006 13:17

My DD has a tendency to be left handed but when I mentioned it to the school nursery, they said that small children will often swap and change which hand they use and if they are left handed at 3 or 4 they may not be when they start school. I am left handed to write but use my right hand for everything else. Please do not try and make her use her right hand above her left, she will make her own mind up when she is ready!

nzshar · 09/03/2006 13:23

As moondog says near the bottom of here ....staggered???!!!

I am the odd one out in our house as the only right handed person out of the 4 of us :)

Our ds (20months) has always been left handed as has my dss (12years) and dp says it hasnt ever effected him in his 35 years of life. He either adapted or got left handed stuff.

ScummyMummy · 09/03/2006 13:27

Is this a joke? Haven't read thread apart from original post but had thought that left handedness had ceased to be thought of as a problem many years ago. Where in Asia are you, hazlinh? Am really shocked that this is still an issue in some places.

Sallystrawberry · 09/03/2006 13:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

hazlinh · 09/03/2006 13:58

sorry been really busy and haven't had a chance to check the thread. am completely taken aback by the sheer amount of responses!

Many thanx to all who replied.

In my defence I DID say that I was beginning to start thinking about telling the nanny to get off DD's case...it was really beginning to piss me off...the nanny would persistently tell her to use her "good hand".

but to be honest, I did worry a bit because where I am, I'm not sure I have the complete confidence in teachers here not to do things like strap her left arm behind her back in class and that really stresses me out.

Left handedness is rare here I think, I do not know a single person who is left-handed. And no, not even in my family.

But yes I do hear things like they are extremely gifted, so when DD first came out and showed leftie tendencies, I was extremely pleased and proud..and she is an extremely clever and alert child...
but there it is again, yes here the left hand is for personal hygiene so the nanny doesn't like DD using her left hand to eat and so on..
and my most irritating and moronic mother-in-law was appalled when dd started first showing her tendency to use her left hand when she was about two or three weeks old.

but i really do feel dd should be allowed to develop naturally.i'm also slowing but steadily losing my patience with the nanny because this is not the only thing we disagree on.

i just worry about what will happen to dd in school later, because it is not so common here.but i'm sure the consequences of forcing her to be something she's not could be much more dire.

OP posts:

mojomummy · 09/03/2006 14:19

hazlinh, appreciate how you feel being in a different culture, however, if you were in China in the days of foot binding, would you allow your nanny to do this ?

You are the boss - please protect your little girl

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