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Behaviour/development

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Original poster

should i allow dd to be left-handed or try coax her into being right-handed

92 replies

hazlinh · 07/03/2006 08:04

i've always had a hunch that dd, now 2, is left-handed. she has shown left hand tendencies since she was born. and is now quite strongly left-handed but the nanny and my mother, who mainly take care of her, didn't seem to think anything about it and have been trying to make her use her right hand for eating and stuff. I think they just think she's too young to realise the difference between her right and left hand, iykwim.
anyway i'm getting quite concerned about this, because i am beginning to think that i should just tell the nanny to get off her case and let her develop the use of her left hand naturally. but how does one know if she really is left-handed?? and i am worried about any future problems, because i have absolutely no experience of lefthandedness and no one in the family is lefthanded so we wouldnt know how to start dealing with it..and where i am, (in asia) i dont think it's easy to find leftie scissors and things...
basically, does anyone have any advice for me? anyone been through this before??help..

OP posts:

fredly · 07/03/2006 10:37

sorry to be so blunty unPC but this is the most stupid question I've ever sseen on mumsnet !!

Callisto · 07/03/2006 10:41

Totally agree with Fredly.

blueshoes · 07/03/2006 10:46

hazlinh, I am afraid your nanny and mother need to pull themselves out of the middle ages. Leave your dd be. Lefthandedness is soooo common, much more so in UK (I noticed) than where I originate. It causes no problems at all, even with scissors. Lefties (or "southpaws") just adapt. I used to do manuscript writing backwards. Was a whizz with mirror writing (not that that has any use). Never needed any of the specialised lefthanded stuff.

Although we tend to assign handedness to the one you hold your pen with, you will find that left-handers are not consistently lefthanded in other tasks eg I hold rackets with right hand, eat knife/fork righthanded but spoon/fork lefthanded.

It is an advantage in rackets sports and golf. We lefties look out for each other - I can tell instantly when someone picks up a pen that it is with their left hand.

Piffle · 07/03/2006 10:48

crikey I was chuffed that ds was left handed, very wrong to try and retrain them and even harmful IMO
It is sueful to let schools know and be aware that lefties should sit on the other edge of the desk as they foten need more space for writing - this was true with ds anyway.
Has caused him no problems at all

Hazellnut · 07/03/2006 10:51

I am VERY left handed - can't do a thing useful with right hand. I have never had any problems. I am quite disappointed that dd is displaying very right handed tendencies....

NomDePlume · 07/03/2006 10:54

Leave her to use whichever hand she is comfortable. I have 2 left handed children and 1 right handed, it never occured to me to 'encourage' either of my 'lefties' to use their other hand.

My Mum is left handed (both my parents are) and she was 'encouraged' by her teachers (I think 'bullied' would be more appropriate) to use her right hand, she just couldn't do it. Much in the same way that I couldn't just start writing neatly etc with my left hand (I'm right handed). FWIW, neither my 14 yr old DS1 or my 3.5 year old DD have had any real problems using right handed scissors, they just get on with it.

ellceeell · 07/03/2006 10:59

Dh is the only rh person in our house. When we got our first computer - many years ago - he set it up with the mouse to be used with his right hand. That's how I learned to use the computer and I don't remember having any problems. Do any of the other "lefties" on here use the mouse left-handed? I know at dd2's school the computer is set up for right handed use and I've never asked if they ever re-configure it.

FeelingOld · 07/03/2006 10:59

I am left handed (the only one in the family) and it has never been a problem. Don't need any special equipment (except have got a left handed cheque book). Just means swapping knives and forks over in restaurants and moving your wine glass to the other side.
Used to have a chinese boyfriend that found it odd I used chopsticks lefthanded cos apparantly its not very common to do so.

You wouldn't be asking if she was right handed should she be coaxed to use her left hand would you?? Leave her to do what comes naturally, she will sort it herself. The only thing I would say is that if you know someone else left handed who could help her to hold a pencil correctly it would be helpful whilst she is young.

Marina · 07/03/2006 11:00

I am also left-handed and surprised that in this day and age anyone (your nanny especially hazlinh, older people have some whacko ideas about left-handedness) would want to mess with a child's natural predisposition. Unless she is clearly showing signs of definite ambidexterity, please make sure they don't interfere with her handedness. Sobernow's poor db is an extreme example of the rubbish left-handers have had to put up with until quite recently.
We used to be burned at the stake you know :(
Ah, I have just spotted your location. In many areas of the developing world, I think it is correct to say that left-handedness is still regarded with suspicion. Hopefully any Muslim Mners around will confirm, but I believe the left hand is less favoured by people of this faith because it is used for personal hygiene.
Is your nanny local to where you live? This could be strongly influencing her instinctive response to left-handedness.

blueshoes · 07/03/2006 11:03

ellceeel, I bring the mouse over to the left hand side but don't re-configure the buttons. It just means a slight shift of wrist, which is no hardship.

NomDePlume · 07/03/2006 11:06

Re mouse work, my mum uses a r/h mouse. DS1 has his mouse on his pc configured for a lefty, but uses the family pc, configured for a righty without problems. DD, not sure yet, she deffo finds it easier to use the mouse on DS1's pc though.

jessicaandrebeccasmummy · 07/03/2006 11:09

I mleft handed, but the only thing i do with my left hand is write.

I eat with fork in left hand knife in right

Use scissors with my right hand

LilacBump · 07/03/2006 11:09

just leave her be. i read they swap until the age of 4 and then settle with a preference and this was true for DD. and there is nothing wrong with being left-handed!

Troutpout · 07/03/2006 11:10

Let her be who she is... I really think you could cause problems otherwise.
ds was obviously left handed ...i could tell from 6 months old. He kicks with his left foot...writes...plays instruments ....and even naturally draws a circle in the air in an anti-clockwise direction.If i'm honest ...i was a little worried about it when he started school as i realised that it did cause a few little problems. For instance he used to get told off for taking a long time to sharpen his pencil...when it actually took him longer because it was harder for him to do. Just little things really...being jogged by righthanders sitting next to him...class room stuff or equipment problems that the teacher should have been aware of really. The only other thing he did was a rather wierd little phase of mirror writing (perfect in everyway just wrong way round and back to front!)...but he flipped that soon after and was fine. He's now 8 and is fine and like a lot of left handers has adapted to living in a right handed world (he can use right handed stuff too) he can do loads of stuff that i couldn't do if the i had to use left-handed stuff. It causes no problems for him.

dd (3) seemed to be left handed too...(although it was less obvious) and then at 2 and a few months, she just suddenly switched to using her right hand.
If you aren't def sure yet...you may find she switches.

prettybird · 07/03/2006 11:12

Aboslutely NO to "encouraging" her to use right hand.

Let her choose which hand. She's only 2, but it's up to her to show which is her pfererence. As others have said, it's hard wired into her brain, and you will only cause problems by trying to over-ride it.

Don't worry about special left handed stuff - both dh and I are left handed (although ds isn't!) and we have never had any specialised equipment. You just learn to cope with "right handed" scissors and can openers.

Dh did have a set of left handed golf clubs - but actually prefers to play right handed (as many left handed golfers do - there is an advantege in your "strong" arm being the leading arm).

Dh also complains that he couldn't learn to play the flute as there wasn't a "left handed" flute. I say to him codswallop, as I did learn to to play the flute as you use both hands equally - if anything the left hand more, and it never caused me any problems.

As others have also said, there are also degrees of left handededness. Just be fleixbile and aware of your dd's needs and desires as to which hand to use.

KeepingMum · 07/03/2006 11:12

Am also left-handed, but use rh scissors and have adapted other ways of doing things. I used to get told off for writing with the page turned 90 degrees. I think you're being a bit harsh on hazlinh. She does say she is living in Asia and things may still be very different culturally regarding using your left hand.

blueshoes · 07/03/2006 11:32

Hazlinh, ahhhhh, you are in Asia - I missed that bit. I am from there so I know what you mean about people trying to change handedness from left to right. Happened to me but mother gave up. I noticed there are fewer lefthanders than in UK - could be due to this practice or less of a predisposition?

Your dd will be fine either way .

Carameli · 07/03/2006 11:35

I haven't read all the messages as I am rushing out soon but just wanted to add that like most of the others that I have read I would let her develop naturally.

I am left handed, but use scissors and play the guitar the right handed way. But my brother is also a leftie and plays it the left handed way, all he did was buy a guitar and srting it the other way around, no problem there.

however my writing is fine but his is rather messy due to the fact that his teachers tried to make him write with his right hand at first.

I am a recent ex primary teacher and these days teachers should know how to help lefties. Such as getting them to have paper at a 45 degree angle makes it much easier to write.

anything left handed has been around for ages and is a great place to look for things. Or elc probably do left handed scissors.

if you have any quiestions feel free to contact me.

Carameli · 07/03/2006 11:36

\link{http://www.anythingleft-handed.co.uk/famous.html\famous left handers}

MummyPig · 07/03/2006 11:44

\link{http://www.all4kidsuk.com/index.php?cmd=showhelp&catid=17\information about left-handed children}

LIZS · 07/03/2006 11:48

dd is left handed but none of us are (bith grandmothers are) so she doesn't get an example at home. However we have not consciously tried to get her to do things right handed instead. She can still do things like manage a knife and fork "normally" so don't see the point. We don't have left handed scissors (bad mummy!)so she's able to manage metal righthanded ones too. She's 4 now and it was evident by 2 but her teacher reports that she is doing all the cutting, drawing and writing activities well so don't see why anyone would feel the need to impose righthandedness, it just causes confusion.

mumeeee · 07/03/2006 21:31

Let her develop naturally. You should never interfere with handiness as this could cause problems later on. A2 year old still hasn't decided which hand to use and children often use both hands until they are 3

mojomummy · 07/03/2006 21:53

Is this the middle ages ?! It's not a disability - leave her alone !

My DH is left handed & rather proud that our DD (2.8yrs) is doing everything with her left hand. He thinks it's special & that left handers are gifted in some way (that's because he's an academic)

She eats extremely well with a knife & fork and is enjoying learning to use scissors, also with her left hand. I wouldn't dream of trying to make her use her right hand, anymore than I would try & squeeze her feet into shoes that were too small

notasheep · 08/03/2006 09:15

Left Handers are more likely to be fantastic Tennis Players!

dd is left handed and top of her class-hasnt started Tennis yet though.

3 cheers for left handers-its quite normal!

Kayleigh · 08/03/2006 09:18

My ds1 is left handed - it would never have occured to me to interfere with his development using his left or right hands. Am a little at this.
You have to let her develop on her own.

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