Everything is "NO" with my nearly 2yo.

[Ozziegirly]

My DS will be 2 at the end of next month and for about 4 months his stock answer to everything has been "NO". It's like he just instantly reacts with a No, whether he means yes or not.

He has graduated to an "ok" if he does want things but the nos are still way more common, and it just makes him seem so negative, which he isn't, he's a lovely little boy.

It used to be just with DH and me, but now, he will go up to children in a park, say on the swing and say "no" to them before they have even acknowledged him, or nice ladies in a shop will say "aren't you a handsome boy" or "are you helping mummy?" and he just says "No" to them - but with a smile. WHich of course makes them smile and him do it more.

I've tried ignoring it, explaining that it's nicer to say "yes" sometimes, following it exactly "would you like a biscuit?" "NO" "ok, no biscuit" "Biscuit, BISCUIT", but nothing seems to change it.

ANy suggestions? His language in general is really good and he can even understand things like this - a conversation we had the other day "that;s a nice stick" "no", "you don't like the stickl?" "no" "Do you think you'll always say no to everything?" "yes".

Any help or thoughts or anything at all? He doesn't hear a lot of nos from me, quite the opposite, I am careful of my language around him.

Will be back in a couple of hours and any responses would be wonderful.

He will grow out of it.
Wait.

It's the prelude to the tantrums, read the thread from this week - have a good giggle and brace yourself.

I live in the Netherlands and there's a saying "ik Ben twee and ik zei nee!" - it translates as "I'm two and I say no"!

Welcome to a 2 year old's world. ;)

My two year old is the same. She doesn't just say it once she goes 'No. No no no no no no no'

It is fairly general to 2 yr old - they discover they have a choice! The next thing is the tantrum when you thwart their choice!

They are not called ' the terrible twos' for nothing!

No is every toddlers favourite word to say and least favourite to hear.

I've got one of them. She's 2 next week and has just learnt the word and is very pleased with herself.
Unfortunately she started tantrums a while ago, though tends to save the full scale ones for public occasions.
At least with dd its better than the screeching she used to do when she didn't want something.

They all do it and you just have to wait until they grow out of it unfortunately.

If you look at it from their point of view it is exciting! As a baby they are just an appendage and they go where they are put and act accordingly - they can only cry if they don't like it. Suddenly they have a voice and they are expected to do something and they can do the opposite! They often say 'no' just for the sake of it - far more interesting than 'yes'!

My youngest is 2 next month and "no" is his favourite word too. For a while I wondered if he used a different tone when he actually meant 'yes'.

Strangely I don't remember this stage with dd so either they don't all do it or it didn't last long so I wiped it from memory.

Try not to ask questions that require a yes/no answer.

I found it was a very short phase, if you asked it when you had a biscuit/chocolate etc in your hand, and said:
Would you like a biscuit?
No
Ok
The look of horror was priceless, they soon learnt saying no, for cheek was detrimental!

I have a friend who studies language development and she says that no is easier for children to say. So they tend to say no more often and before they can say yes.

Thanks everyone. I had kind of hoped that it would start to abate by now, it feels like he's been saying no to everything for months!

He does have a tantrum now and then as well, and funnily enough I find that easier to deal with as it seems such "normal" toddler behaviour, but none of his little friends who are the same age do this to this extent.

Even if I say "would you like to wear this top or this one? "no".

It's nice to know that it's totally normal though.

Ozziegirly I think you and I have the same child!!

My DS says 'noo' as the answer to everything- before he has processed the question. He has great language too and if we say 'what do you want?' he will explain- and it's often what we asked in the first place.

There is a Devine Comedy song that goes 'everybody knows that no means yes...' We sing that a lot to DS at the moment.

It must be a phase.

dd bypassed "NO!" and went to "Mynotfinkso, mynotlikeit!"

...we still use mynotfinkso for emphasis!

hahahaha, love it Catsmamma, how on earth do you keep your face straight??!! I find it hard enough when I get "No way baby!!" off DD2, 19mnths!!

I've got one of them too. I often laugh though because he normally says it with such anxiety. We're also getting tantrums now too.