DS a Perfectionist? Or Worse?

[adamsma]

My husband has had mental health problems for a long time - he has generalised anxiety disorder and depression. He had a relapse a few months ago and I had a talk with my DS (who is 6) about why daddy wasn't happy at the moment.

My main worry at the moment is that my DS has always had a problem with getting things wrong - I mean, he hates it if he doesn't get things perfect and he will keep going and going until he cracks it.

One of my husband's problems is that he focuses on a mistake or a problem (of his own, not DS) and obsesses about it, thinking about it all the time and worrying about it endlessly. He thinks that our DS is suffering in the same way.
I'm more inclined to think that DS is a perfectionist like I was when I was little. My husband thinks that he (husband) is the way he is because his own dad was just the same and maybe he picked up on it growing up.
Any advice very welcome, thank you, xxx

Hiya, I was like this, at nearly 60 I am a lot lot better. In my case I believe I have Asperger's and ADD (inattentive variety - which does not mean I can't attend to things I am interested in!) Was v v 'good' and thought it cheating to ask for help. Found it hard to make friends. Suffered from depression from childhood through to my 30's (and after that but because of abusive marriage)

Wondered if the first part of that rings bells or not?

I was going to say has your husband ever been assessed to find out why he suffers from anxiety?

There are loads of people out there with undiagnosed Autistic spectrum disorders and this can cause massive anxiety, trying to fit in, trying to follow rules, worrying about other people following rules, eating issues,needing routines the list goes on and on.

ASD can be inherited and there is more evidence that it runs through families.

Thank you for your replies. I think my husband's dad certainly has some form of ASD, but never thought about it for my husband. I think I'll google it and see if anything fits. You don't reckon he's just being a bit of a perfectionist then? xx