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Original poster

Learning to ride a bike (aged 7 and a half)

30 replies

EndoplasmicReticulum · 28/07/2012 17:43

My son will be eight in January. He can't ride a bike yet.

We have tried a balance bike, and taking the pedals off. We've tried with stabilisers. Usually ends in tears.

I am wary of pushing him (not literally), as I can't ride one either.

My parents took the "we will shout at you until you can" approach, which resulted in much misery so I'm not going down that route.....

I think he's inherited my lack of co-ordination and lack of confidence, so I think a softly softly approach is needed. Or bribery may work!

Any suggestions?

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jellyrolly · 28/07/2012 17:49

Does he want to ride a bike? If so, just keep going. I didn't learn til I was 26 at which point a very patient boyfriend just said "There won't be a lightbulb moment, one day you will just realise you don't like falling off more than anything else."

Why don't you learn together? (It took me 6 months!)

bigTillyMint · 28/07/2012 17:50

Do you know anyone who would help him confidently and calmly and encouragingly?

I do know an adult who rides an adult-sized trike, so maybe this would be easier for him (and you?? Smile

Original poster
EndoplasmicReticulum · 28/07/2012 17:52

Oh god. I may have to.

He doesn't want to, really, and neither do I!

I tried again aged 30, still wasn't getting it. I'm a bit old for falling off bikes now, I think I need a three-wheeler.

I suppose he could just be another non-rider. Or wait until the peer pressure becomes a powerful incentive.....

OP posts:
Original poster
EndoplasmicReticulum · 28/07/2012 17:53

bigTilly - cross posted.

Yes, my husband is teaching him. He is a good rider, and very calm. He has not lost it with him at all.

OP posts:
YvyB · 28/07/2012 18:05

Can he ride a scooter? My 7 year old son was terrified of riding a bike without stabilizers until we pointed out that he could balance for long distances on a scooter and that it was the same on a bike except he'd be sitting down instead of standing up. This gave him the confidence to at least think about giving the bike a go. We also took the pedals off to keep his feet clear and reassure him he could put them down or just 'scoot' the bike along. Breakthrough moment came on a grassy slope -much easier to balance when you're moving a bit faster plus grass ensured a softer landing! After that we encouraged him to ride down the short hill outside our house and up the drive, using chalk to 'set a record' for how far he could coast without putting his feet down.

We kept the saddle low, made sure he was wearing helmet, cycling gloves (the type with fingers in too) and long trousers at all times so he felt happy that he would only get a bump if he did ever fall off. It took lots of cheering from us but he soon became more excited about how far he could get than frightened of falling off. We also had a 'tag-along' so he could join family bike rides and get a sensation for pedalling and also for the enjoyment of cycling.

(Just a thought, but what is his eye-sight like? My son is long-sighted and had quite a strong squint in one eye which meant regular intervention from the hospital. Over time this improved until at one check-up he suddenly passed the 3d vision test for the first time. This improved his spacial awareness dramatically - he could catch a ball for the first time, for instance - and within just a few weeks of this he was not only riding a bike but swimming without arm-bands too!)

Good luck!

Brandnewbrighttomorrow · 28/07/2012 18:09

YvyB has triggered a thought - my son has glue ear and consequently has balance problems, does he have any issues with his ears?

Otherwise I'd say stick with a scooter if he's not bothered about the bike. As his balance and confidence improve he may want to have another go.

gimmesunshine · 28/07/2012 18:17

My DD had problems riding her bike and gave up because at 8 she felt embarrassed to be seen by her friends using the stabilisers.

We'd done the encouragement and the shouting (I know but even we felt frustrated) and the hints that all her friends would be riding. She just kept using her scooter.

Then we went on holiday and there were bikes on the campsite, we were camped in a quiet grassy area. She borrowed a bike and we just left her to it. She'd gotten to grips with it within 1/2 hour and now she loves to ride her bike. Still a little wobbly but a lot better.

It will happen but if he's not that bothered then don't make a big thing about it. In my DD's case, it was that she could practice without anyone seeing her, she just got on with it in her own time.

Don't know if this helps but hang in there.

Original poster
EndoplasmicReticulum · 28/07/2012 18:43

No problems with eyes or ears.

He does have a scooter but prefers to walk alongside it while pushing it along! He won't commit to the scoot if you see what I mean.

OP posts:
YvyB · 28/07/2012 19:20

Bless him - he does sound very tentative. Has his teacher expressed any concern about how he copes in P.E.? (Mine did and was then mortified when I pointed out that he was wearing an eye-patch for several hours a day and that he had no 3d vision!!!!!) My son has never been a physical child, I guess some boys aren't...

I guess you could approach it more from the perspective of, say, learning a musical instrument i.e. no expectation of instant musical genius but just 10 mins every day of practice. When my son started piano lessons I made it clear that this was the deal and linked it to his pocket money - if he tried hard for 10 mins every day he would get his pocket money each week. He protested a bit at first but I stood firm; one week later he had his pocket money and the added bonus of impressing his piano teacher (and himself!) with how much progress he'd made!

Don't know if it helps, but fingers crossed!

jellyrolly · 28/07/2012 20:10

I wouldn't push it, hey it was good enough for you and for me not to learn! Wink

CMOTDibbler · 28/07/2012 20:15

A grassy slope is def the best place to start, but it sounds like he needs a confidence boost. Someone on here had a bike tutor to great success, so maybe learning together with help would be the way to go with the thought of family bike rides somewhere nice.

bigTillyMint · 28/07/2012 20:19

If your DH is a calm and confident cyclist, he should be able to get him going, unless, maybe, there is an undiagnosed reason? Is there any chance he is dyspraxic? If he is not keen to use his scooter either....
Having said that, we managed to teach a highly dyspraxic 9yo (also with Moderate Learning Difficulties) to ride a bike recently, although he is still working on turning and stopping Smile

I agree, 10mins a day with a lot of encouragement and praise is the way to go. But if he's not keen, I agree, there's no need to push it!

DawEtoHaul · 28/07/2012 20:26

I didn't learn until I was eight - my friend next door, also eight, taught me over one summer holiday, playing out together every day.

Subject to having said friend, and said friend and child being sensible enough to do this together - might this help? All I can say is, it worked for me, less scary than having my dad stand barking over me, more fun and encouraging.

notinmylifetime · 28/07/2012 21:34

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns and so we've agreed to take this down.

RandomMess · 28/07/2012 21:40

One of mine self taught at just 4 (Shock), the next was 5 and the youngest was nearly 7 - refused all offers of help and advice and did it HER way.

The middle one had appalling upper/lower body co-ordination for ages and still isn't great with gross motor skills but fantastic at fine motor skills.

Perhaps work on the scooter or other balancing things first to build his ability and confidence?

Original poster
EndoplasmicReticulum · 28/07/2012 23:10

I'm tempted to leave it for a bit. We will try a spot of encouragement, but I really don't want to be shouty about it. I think because I have an understanding what it's like when your body won't co-operate - I have a suspicion that he's inherited whatever it is that I've got in terms of a complete lack of co-ordination.

Teacher hasn't had any concerns re. PE, but I don't think they do much to be honest, running round the hall pretending to be birds sort of thing.

OP posts:
CecilyP · 29/07/2012 11:57

If he isn't even riding it with stabilisers, it sounds like it could be a bit of a phobia. Just leave the bike where he can get it if he wants it, and don't stress about it. All kids have some things they never play with but may come back to later.

DinahMoHum · 29/07/2012 12:01

my son is dyspraxic (also has ASD and attention span difficulties) Tried to teach him when he was younger with no success. It got to the stage this year (hes 11) that he was desperate to learn and he basically taught himself. I got hold of a bike that was a bit too small for him so he could keep his feet on the floor and told him to not worry about pedalling, just to play about and push himself about on it.
within a few days he was lifting his feet off the ground and baslancing along and then less than 2 weeks after, he was riding brilliantly up and down the street

Primrose123 · 29/07/2012 12:25

Both my DDs took a long time to learn, they were 8. It's too hilly to learn where we live, so they couldn't just go out to play on their bikes, we had to put bikes in car, go to park etc. They were both quite nervous, but wanted to learn. I was advised by a friend to get a long piece of material, like a sheet, and sort of wrap it around their chest under their arms to make a type of harness. Twist it at the back and hold that, so you support the child instead of the bike. They found this gave them confidence, and soon learned. Hope this works for you.

NCIS · 29/07/2012 13:15

My DS eventually learnt when he was seven. We hired bikes on our campsite in France and I spent ages trying to teach him without success and then gave up in despair. Left him to it and he met me cycling down the road. It was the same with swimming for him, it's almost like he has to do it his own way without an audience.

wheredidiputit · 29/07/2012 14:14

Does he need to.

I can't ride a bike neither can my eight and half year old dd. I will not force her to do it. She tried and tried aspecially as her nearly 5year old sister can.

Now dd1 just rollerskates everywhere.

Original poster
EndoplasmicReticulum · 29/07/2012 14:29

WheredidI - no, he doesn't need to, I suppose. It's not ideal for biking for small children round here anyway - we are in a village with busy roads to get anywhere else.

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 29/07/2012 14:35

I think you should take the pressure off, all mine taught them selves by playing up and down the street on their bikes with the other kids.

Peer pressure is a great teacher Grin

mumeeee · 29/07/2012 17:02

DD1 didn't manage to ride a bike without stabilisers until she was 9. |We tried all sorts of things to help her but nothing worked so we just left her to it and one day she just did it, We had a very safe lane at the back of our house and she just took her bike along there.

PeanutButterOnly · 29/07/2012 21:43

Hi - we had similar with DS when he was 7.9. We found a National Standard Cycling Instructor who came to our house and did two 1 hour sessions with DS. She took his pedals off and taught him to balance first and by the end of the 2 hours the pedals were back on. From there he was confident enough to carry on with us. There are links to instructors here
beta.ctc.org.uk/training/cycling-instructors

It worked really well for our DS as he got very cross when we tried to teach him and would give up almost immediately. By the way if you take pedals off it's good if they are on a bike with the saddle right down and feet flat on the ground.