4 yr old randomly hurts other children!!

[peppajay]

My 4 yr old DS hurts other children raandomly for no reason this has been going on since he was a yr old and nothing works to stop him doing it. He will either push, bite or yank hair. It is beyond a joke now and I can't cope with it any longer but apart from this one thing he is the perfect child and I know why he does it as he absolutely loves the reaction he gets from everyone, I obviously get cross from him and make him apologize and put him in time out or take him away from the situation, but it doesnt worry him he always says 'I don't mind' and the next time we are with other kids he does it again always looking at me for a reaction. Then when we get home all he talks about is getting other children. I also take away treats after tea and tv time but again all he says is 'I don't mind!!!

The only thing I can do is stop taking him anywhere where there are other children but he is such a happy soul he would stay home all day singing and dancing as this is what he loves but being the holidays I need to get out with my 6 yr old.

He is perfect at nursery and is starting school in September and am hoping he will be the same as at nursery. He is a reputation in our area for being 'that child' and someone even requested her child be put in a different class than my son as she says he runs round attacking other children.

On his transfer form from nursery to school they describe him' as exceptionally bright beyond his years with a massive creative flair'

Any ideas on how to stop this behaviour, someone suggested ignoring him but how I can ignore him when he he is bullying others!!!

you need to stay with him the entire time and you need to stop him before he lashes out.
it's the only way.

i hate forced apologies. he isn't sorry, but you're teaching him that he can bite someone and then say sorry and it's all ok. plus he gets a ton of attention.

So, I would change tack. Do not let him play on his own anywhere. you go with him. you tell him in advance that if he hurts anyone he will go straight home.
YOU apologise to the parent/child and you take him home and give him no attention for it

or if you are out and you don't want to spoil it for the 6 yr old then you tell 4 yr old that if he hurts anyone he will come and sit with you for the rest of the time you are there.

I have been doing this for ages now but he just doesn't seem to mind. I have figured out he doesnt need other children as he is quite happy on his own, and being taken away makes no difference. I have started taking a buggy out with us and he strap him in there but he just gets in and sings his songs which is what he does all day. My problem is being the holidays we need to get out and about for all our sanity. I follow him everywhere but all it takes is a split second. I have spoken to a proffesional about a yr ago and she said he would grow out of it and we did have a good spate but then he started it up again, and it is definitely worse in the holidays as he isnt stimulated enough if he is busy ie in a music class, swimming or nursery he is fine it just happens in what I call free play.

well that's ok. it doesn't matter if he is happy being taken away from other children.
your aim is to get him to stop doing it, not make him unhappy- I think you just need to make a fuss over the child who got hurt, and give him as little attention as possible.

if he is fine sitting in the pushchair that's ok.

and you could try bribery. if he doesn't hurt anyone he gets a sweet?

I like the sweet idea, I often take his tea time treat away from him or take his CD's off him for his bad behaviour, but what you are saying here is rewarding the good so maybe when he doesn't do it I should make a fuss of him and give him a sweet. I am willing to try anything at the moment. It is weird because on a day to day basis he is so compliant and so easy to parent compared to my 6 yr old he listens and does as he is told he always tidies his toys away and rarely tantrums. He just seems to think that hurting others is a game!