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End of tether

8 replies

VickyandAlistair · 26/07/2012 17:59

I am at the end of my tether now with ds and his eating. All he eats in toast and a bit of banana.

He's 21mp and he used to eat really well up until about 3 or 4 months ago. Now, he refuses everything. I just cooked him another meal - wasted. He wastes everything. I offer him different foods. I've tried sitting him in different places. I've tried making funny faces with food. I have tried EVERYTHING.

People tell me to keep offering food - but he just wastes it every time and I cant afford all this food wastage! Its also getting to the point that I dont see the point in cooking for him - I used to slave away making him a nutritious meal, now I heat some beans or something. He ignores them the same way.

I'm sorry this is rambling but I am so worried now and I feel like crying. He's lost weight, I'm worried he isnt getting enough vitamins or nutrition.

Please help. I lay awake at night worrying about this, and its getting to the point that I have to walk away when he refuses food because I get so angry with it all.

OP posts:
PurplyWurply · 26/07/2012 19:05

Hello, I didn't want to leave your message unanswered. It is really disheartening when they don't eat. However, they almost all do start eating again.

I got very fed up with people saying that about my DC, but eating has been going quite well since about 2yo. Some foods that were favourites at weaning are completely rejected now, e.g. philadelphia, yoghurt, etc.

My DC enjoys tasty vitamins e.g. Boots Multivitamin liquid is orange flavour and their Omega 3 is strawberry or orange. These are fairly cheap and often on 3 for 2, so not too expensive to try.

If your DS is given some of your meal, and you don't cook separately, then you won't feel your efforts are wasted to the same degree. I certainly feel that way and I think my DC is a bit better about it and tries to eat from our plates.

Try to make mealtimes fun and relaxed - easier said than done, I know!!! If you just have a conversation at the table while you eat but without watching what your DS is eating, you may find some food begins to be eaten.

Telling my DC that his meal is a favourite with one of his little friends worked, we've introduced ham, tuna, and boiled eggs doing this. I just say "I made this for you because it's name's favourite" and don't say anything else about it.

Some kids think spoons are the devil's work after weaning, and reject food on principle if it's offered on a spoon - my DN is like this, but will eat with hands.

Kids sometimes like foods you expect them to reject. My DC wouldn't touch sauages until chorizo was offered. Now all types of sausage are gobbled down.

Sorry for the essay, hope you get on better.

bassingtonffrench · 26/07/2012 19:08

Does he drink too much milk? if so, could you ration it? (worked for us)

bassingtonffrench · 26/07/2012 19:08

we did that on medical advice btw

sittinginthesun · 26/07/2012 19:14

So frustrating. I agree with the poster above, that eating together may be the answer. Cook one meal that the family will eat, give him his portion, and just sit with him and eat yours.

If he messes about, refuses to eat, just ignore him. Then have pudding, offer him pudding, and carry on as before.

I have one good eater, and one more fickle eater. DH used to get very distressed with him, but I am better at detaching, so can ignore the tantrums. DS2 is 5 years now, and is a much better eater.

NotInMyDay · 26/07/2012 19:15

Hi my DS 19m is very similar. Bagels, cereal, fish fingers etc, bananas and butternut squash mush.

I tried to offer a bagel pizza yesterday and you'd have thought I was branding him with a poker.

Looking at his list he has fish, fruit and veg and I can hide things in the butternut squash mush if I'm careful.
DD now 4 was worse and is a very good eater now so I take comfort in that.

It's tough but unlikely to last forever Wink

WanderingOkapi · 26/07/2012 22:44

Food is so emotive. U sound like u are doing really well, just keeping calm and offering the food without fuss. Agree that it is a good idea to cook one meal and give ds some of that , so u don't feel that u are cooking for nothing. It will get better.

VickyandAlistair · 27/07/2012 09:15

Thanks all, very helpful. Will just keep going I suppose .. sigh... he has to eat properly sometime, doesnt he?! thanks again :) Thanks

OP posts:
SomethingSuitablyWitty · 27/07/2012 12:43

I feel your pain. DD nearly 21 months is simply dreadful and was never good, unlike your DS. So wearing, so depressing and not an awful lot you can do. We've tried every trick in the book. The expert advice is to try and release yourself of all stress by recognising that they will not starve themselves, dish up meals at structured times, sit down to eat together without trying to make them eat and leave them to it, but don't offer a load of snacks between meals. Be consistent. Don't worry. Hasn't worked here by the way, yet anyway, but we'll keep trying. In a way it's easier for us, because DD does it at nursery and pretty normally at that, so her weight is OK.

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