attention span and ADD

[PooPooInMyToes]

Im a bit concerned about my nearly 4 year old. He doesn't always seem to focus very well on what i am saying as he is so easily distracted. Often he can't repeat it back if asked.

I make sure he is looking at me but often if his face is his eyes will wander, usually to the thing he really wants to be doing.

I just said to him how important it is to listen! After i asked him what i said and he thought it was something else. He didn't even listen to me telling him to listen to me!

He is also a bit clumsy and when he goes to cuddle me he will head butt me or tread on my feet.

At bed time he can't or won't stay still for story time but he does tend to get more energetic when he is tired so i am not sure if its just that.

Im not entirely sure what is just a normal 3 year old being busy doing other things and not wanting to stop and pay attention and what could be a sign of ADD or similar.

Oh and he doesn't stop playing most of the time to go to the toilet so wets himself a lot.

Any one have any experience?

Oh and he also seems to shout a lot unnecessarily.

Oh and its hard to get him to sit on his chair at dinner time, he's always jumping down.

Sorry, keep thinking of more! He doesn't seem to be able to stop himself doing things he knows he's not supposed to sometimes. For eg. He makes doors part of his games quite a lot but we worry about him closing his fingers in the door so we say DON'T and then he does it.

I know impulsive behaviour is just part of being a toddler but still worry.

he does sound very impulusive. Does it affect his peer relationships?

No not yet. He's only at nursery at the moment though.

I know being impulsive and clumsy are part of being a preschooler but Im not sure at what age i should be concerned.

We went for a day out yesterday and he could hardly sit still on the train and was constantly doing things we had told him not to do. Its a bit exhausting.

Thanks for your reply.

I have 3 dc w. ADD & ADHD. The eyes wandering, the impulsiveness, the inability to sit still, the not hearing and the constant SHOUTING all sound very familiar.

Dunno about testing and stuff in the UK, but even if it isn't that (which you might want to check out) my top survival tips are

1. tire him out as much as possible, really physical, tiring exercise. Mine are so different since we got the trampoline, it has been a Godsend. really. They also sleep better as well as behave better, and fight less.

1. Get the book 1-2-3 Magic, v easy read and easy to follow.

1. Use as few words as possible with him.

eg Have you brushed your teeth? Don't forget to go upstairs and brush them You forgot yesterday. It's really important to brush your teeth. Are you listening to me.....

Instead, "XXX; Teeth!"

I find my ds hears me better when I touch him, e.g. I put my hands on his shoulder. SOmehow he connects more with it.

If he's really agitated or upset I Give him a few minutes quiet on his own, I don't try to deal with him then. ALso I find it can be more effective to talk to him while standing behind and talking very quietly, again, with hands on shoulders. Sometimes the eye contact just makes him more stressed and agitated.

It was very clear to me from a very early age that there were problems.

Maybe note incidents, so you can give specifics if/when you do come to talking to a professional about it, esp where you can demonstrate the behaviours occur in different environments, e.g. in an enjoyed club, at nursery and also at home, so they can't conclude it's a home problem iyswim.

hth.

Thank you ernest. From what age could you tell?

I have a family member who has an attention span problem (its not been diagnosed), so I've always been on the lookout for that sort of thing. Plus another relation with probable asd so that makes me doubly paranoid.

Think my dh thinks Im just looking for problems because of my family.

What do you do about it? I've heard diet can help? He's super fussy too! Sigh.

Also when do you take them to the Dr? The nursery haven't reported any problems.

Certainly when my ds2 was in Kindergarten it was obvious. I got all 3 tested around the time they started school, so I could demonstrate to the staff they weren't just naughty but had specific problems, often with specific solutions. 2 of the 3 take medication.

So do they get assessed and is there a scale of severity?

Also why does it make them shout?

Mine were all assessed n Switzerland and again in Germany. I can't tell you a thing about how it works in UK I'm afraid. I have been very lucky here that's all I can say.

I think the shouting is a boy thing anyway, but they are def worse than others! Just wait till they start wearing headphones. sigh.

your ds sounds a lot like mine at that age and to be honest at 9 he hasnt changed much! If you want an assessment then you need to see gp, explain the problems and ask to be referred to paediatrician and occupational health. You really need to speak to nursery and leaders at any other clubs he attends first to find out what they think/ if they share your concerns. Otherwise docs will just fob you off and tell you its your parenting thats the problem - my ds has just been re-referred after several docs have done exactly that, this time im prepared with reports from school, youth groups etc!
If you really think there is a problem be prepared to fight for answers, now is the time before education is affected
Hope this helps
Good luck

My DS1 has ADHD and Aspergers and he was like that at that age BUT there were two other boys in nursery with him that were all the same and when they got to Primary school they just grew out of it. The hard part is getting a referral, can his nursery school provide any input? We were shocked when my DS1 was referred by the Primary school in his first year, totally taken by surprise - we just thought all little boys were like that! However I later asked his paediatrician how much he thought DS1 was affected and was told he was a typical case. Similarly, when he was diagnosed with Aspergers at age 9 I fully expected to get thrown out of the centre for wasting the time of all these clinical professionals but they had no hesitation in diagnosing him with Aspergers.

We have had great success using Ritalin to control DS1's behaviour, without it the school were going to expel him. He had already been expelled from his after-school club and gone through two childminders. It took a while to tailor his type, brand and dose of medication to provide the most benefit but once we did the difference was huge. We forgot to give him his pill one morning and the school phoned up to ask whether he had had it or not, it was that obvious.

Signs of ADHD (that I can think of) - not being able to use his 'inside' voice, not being able to sit still at times (although he can play a computer game or make lego for hours without moving), interruping people when they are talking, rushing about everywhere at top speed, being clumsy, no fear of strangers - he will happily approach anyone and talk to them.

Stunt. Thanks the thing, Im just not sure if this is his age. I can't say he's much different to other boys (and girls) i know of that age.

He does use his inside voice but then will talk really loudly so we remind him and he will be quieter.

As things are at the moment i can't imagine the need to give him medication, its not that extreme. Nursery haven't mentioned any concerns although i will speak to them in September, and he sits on the carpet for carpet time like the others.

Yesterday i felt quite sure but today i am not.

The problem is you can't really diagnose him, even if you have a good idea that a child has ADHD (e.g. I have one child with ADHD and one child without so with the next one I reckon I'll be able to tell very early on). It needs a paediatrician that is expert in behavioural disorders and input from parent and nursery/school who will fill in questionnaires such as the Connor rating scale.

BUT that doesn't mean you can't do anything. Your son is too young to start medication as it isn't recommended for under six but you can start behavioural therapy with him. A child that is receiving ADHD medication also needs behavioural therapy to get the best results. The current recommended parenting program is the Incredible Years www.incredibleyears.com/ and there's a book you can use www.amazon.co.uk/The-Incredible-Years-Carolyn-Webster-Stratton/dp/1892222043/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1343539792&sr=8-1. The program was designed for children with behavioural difficulties but it works just as well for all children (I use it with both of mine) and I recommend it to any mother that is having trouble getting their children to behave as they want.

The system is based on using play, praise, time out and rewards to encourage the behaviour you want while ignoring the behaviours you don't like. It's basically what Supernanny was trying to do but you can't take reward points away and you don't have a naughty step because you don't want to label your child, you have a time-out step and you can't leave any child there longer than five minutes. The benefits are unbelievable - my children will do anything to avoid a time out! I can take my kids to the supermarket and they are so well behaved, DS1 will push the trolley and DS2 will get the things from low down that I can't reach because my back is bad. I'm not trying to sound smug, we have our problems but it gives you a method to resolve them.

Thank you. I will look at those links later.

His behaviour is good really. Its just sometimes he doesn't seem to be able to control his impulsive behaviour and it some situations his inability to sit still is tricky, like on the tube for instance.