7 month old - I've developed some bad habits... Please help me change things!

[zambooloo]

Hi,
My 7 month old dd has always been a bit tricky. She had reflux and even now it's cured she still hates feeding. She never really seems hungry. The only way I can get any milk in her is to feed her as she is going to sleep, she is ff. we started solids at 5.5 months. She refuses a spoon so we thought ok blw. Some days she will be interested and put stuff in her mouth but some days not at all.

I saw a health visitor today who basically said she should only be having about 4 bottles a day & 3 meals a day. She said stop the bottles before naps and just be strong to break the habit. She said offer foods with a high water content to stop dehydration.

This is going to be hard isn't it?? I can't believe I've let this habit of feeding develop I was just worried she wouldn't be getting enough food. I feel really bad for letting this happen tbh.

Can I ask for your opinions / advice on this... Have any of you had similar problems? She went 8 hrs today without any food, then only took 2oz. I just feel like this can't be right! She isn't ill or anything she just doesn't seem to want to eat.

Thanks for reading my rambling post.

zamboo I am really sorry that your HV has made you feel like this. There is no reason that your DD should be only having 4 bottles a day and I would like to know what evidence she is basing this on.

The current NHS guidelines are to feed your baby on demand whether you are bfing or ff, so she isn't giving out NHS advice there.

My advice would be to completely ignore what your HV said and carry on as you are. Lots of babies are fed to sleep at 7 months, as were both of mine. They are 4 and 8 now and don't do it now .

Carry on as you were before and if your HV mentions it again, smile sweetly and say something along the lines of "oh, that's really interesting and quite different to what I thought I was supposed to be doing. Could you tell me what research that is from so I can read it myself please?

My dd was the same. When we started weaning I tried to get her into a routine which worked really well for us. I gave her a bottle on waking. She would take 1oz and then refuse. I would offer it her again after ten mins, and perhaps once more but after that withdraw it. I would then offer breakfast at 8.30am. I would offer her another bottle at 10.30am (this was the first one we dropped) and do the same as with the morning bottle. Lunch at 12.30, then afternoon bottle at 2.30pm (she still has this one). Evening meal would be at about 4.30 and then the night time bottle was given as a split feed - half at 6.30 before her bath and then the rest after. My dd would only take 1 or 2 oz from certain bottles. Sometimes she would eat her meals and sometimes not. After a few days of sticking rigidly to this routine she began to take a little more milk and eat a little more with her meals. Before this I would try and feed her constantly because I was worried she wasnt getting enough and would go through endless bottles because I would keep making them up fresh. I also fed her whist she was falling asleep too just to get some food into her. The thing to remember, which is also the hardest thing to do, is that they will eat when they are hungry. If she has refused her morning bottle and her breakfast, by the 10am bottle she should be hungry so may take more. Whilst I was going though it I worried constantly. I was terrified because she wouldnt eat, but she did eventually when I learned to be strong and stick to a food schedule. Next time around I will be more relaxed because I know that eventually she will eat. Good luck xx

Also, offer her water with food - far better at combating dehydration than 'water rich foods'.

Forgot to address the BLW. BLW her is fine too, please try to remember that "food is for fun until you are one". Eating solids between 6 and 12 months is more about exploring taste and texture and if she doesn't want to stick it in her mouth just do what eat and chat as you would normally then when you've finished clear away.

She will be fine .

Oh, and my DD did the whole not eat for hours and hours too. Then the next day she ate loads. I would feel like it was a turn around, and then she would go for hours without food again! She is a healthy almost 1 year old though so I must be doing something right x

Yes, at 7 months my DS could take or leave food a lot of the time (apart from breakfast mango) - he only really got into his stride at about 10 months, and he still feeds to sleep for most naps at 23 months (and his food intake is still variable - some days he's almost continually eating, sometimes he only eats half of his meals).

For the vast majority of kids I think that they'll naturally move over to food as they feel like it, and forcing the issue will just cause stress for all.

Thank you everyone for your replies, you have all made me feel much better.

One thing I forgot to mention is that dd is starting with a child minder once a week from September & I don't think a cm would be able to feed to sleep etc as she has other children to look after too.

I just got dd off to sleep with no bottle by rocking her, going to transfer to cot in a min. Hopefully the cm will be ok having to rock her a bit. I'm going to try feeding her when she wakes but not expecting her to take much.

Also any ideas about getting water in her... She refuses water from any beaker/cup/bottle!!

If she is refusing water, don't press the issue, just keep giving her a beaker of water with her meals and she can drink it if she wants too. If you are really worried make some lollies.

Can't see why a CM couldn't feed to sleep. My firend is a CM and has a one year old to look after. She regularly feeds him to sleep. Perhaps you should discuss how she settles the babies and gets them to sleep?

My dd refused her beaker to begin with too! I just kept giving it her to play with and at meal times I showed her how to drink from it by drinking myself. One day she just picked it up and tried to drink from it. She loves her beaker now and drinks lots of water all day long. x

A good childminder will find a way to fit the baby's routines into their own. If she needs to be rocked or fed to sleep that should be possible at least until she is well settled into the setting.

I wouldn't worry too much about trying to get things into her. Your job is to make sure there is food, water and milk available to her when she needs it. Unless she is a child with a serious developmental disorder her body will prompt her to take what she needs when she needs it.

Keep offering her drinks and giving her fruit and other foods with lots of water in and stop trying to persuade her to eat or drink as that is a recipe for creating a food/drink battle you will never win.