DSS starts school in Sept and isn't potty trained...

[Lala1980]

Hi I hope I am on the right board - I know this is about my step son but I feel it is a developmental issue not a step parenting one...
DSS was 4 in June and starts school in September but he is still not potty trained to poo. He is fine with weeing but unless he has a nappy on, 9/10 he will poo his pants.
I am really concerned about what will happen to him when he starts school, or is this normal at his age?!
We only have the kids every other weekend, and although we do our best to encourage and reward him, we cannot potty train a child in two days, especially if it is not reiterated at home.
His speech also seems severely underdeveloped although I think this is down to his siblings (3 of them) all seem to speak for him and he barely gets a word in edgeways!
His mum seems to baby him as he is her youngest and has admitted she doesn't want her baby to grown up, but I am concerned he will be bullied at school...
I have posted on here previously and had some useful advice and thanks to those who replied. Unfortunately, the problem has worsened as time has gone on and he is starting school soon...

I shouldn't worry too much Labs. We were in a similar position this time last year DD was 4 in the Summer and started school in September and although she had been potty trained for quite a while, she still had the occasional poo in her pants.

We spoke to the school about this and lots of other concerns of mine which all proved irrelevant. School advised us to pack a pair of pants and tights in her bag and that she wouldn't be bullied, accidents like this at school are see as normal in Reception. In fact she only had one accident in the year and it was wee.

She also had a issue with her Speech and although we had regular talks with the HV we decided to leave her until she went to school. School picked up on it in the first couple of weeks and she had a referral. Her speech was sorted out in a 6 weeks of sessions.

What is the school like that DSS will be going to? Do you think they will support this issues? Have either of you spoken to his Mum? How does she handle the poo issue?

Lala - If the school are aware of the problem, they will do their best to minimise issues.

How much will you/ his dad be involved with the school? Can you suggest meeting with his mum to agree on a strategy?

My son is in the same position, starting at pre-school this September.

Keep in mind, it's not yet September and kids develop a lot in a month or so.

Also, he probably won't be the only one!