toddler very angry and hurts me and new baby.Any advice?

[Anna1988]

My son is 2 and a half he started temper tantraums early (1)and they were resembly controlable but this last few months we have had serious promblems with him. we dont often give in to him but if he dosnt get what he wants or do what he wants he screams,whines and moans all day,If i tell him off he goes and annoy or somtimes even hurt his seven month old sister just to get back at me/or take his angry out on.He Hits be and kicks.Hes so indepentent it always is his way or he screams sometime I have to give him time out in his bedroom,its completly safe but he trashes it clims on windowsill and screams.Im worried about him,Ive tryed my hardest to displine him and not give in but at the same time embrace his indepents but my parents think that ive made my child unruly and its my fault.They come round and the house is permently a mess cause he trashes it continulously.im scared of my own son.My partner works a 47 hour week and is gone from 5 in the morning untill 5 at night.How do we help him? any advice?

Poor you Anna, you sound like you have got your hands full with not much support.

Have your parents actually said that to you or is it just how you feel? Would they be prepared to have DD for a couple of hours each week so that you can give DS some one-to-one time, or even have a couple of hours to yourself?

As for the tantrums, get yourself this book or any of the others by Dr Tanya Byron, they are fab. Most libraries will have copies too.

Just out of interest, what do you do if he hits and have you read this.

I havent read the the book but will give it a try.

My mum has him when i study but its the summer break now.They have said he is one of the naughties children they seen and that age and I need to sort him out or my favroite be strict with him and they have fostered alot of children.

When he hits me I say no dont hit mummy and my partner also tells him off but he just laughs at me.

Oh Anna you sound like you have really got it tough. If mine ever hit they go straight into time out. Have you tried that and did you read the link on hitting?

It might be worth asking your HV or at your local Children's Centre if they do any positive parenting classes too.

Toddler Taming is another great book and recommended by lots of professionals.

isnt he a bit young for time out.I dont see how it would work for someone of two?

Well it worked for mine at that age. Perhaps you could read up on it and decide for yourself.