4 year old has no respect, and doesnt seem to care....

[3kidsNapup]

Hi this is my first post here and I am hoping for some advice/support/help/understanding/all or any of the above!! please!

My DS has just turned 4 (a mth ago) and is due to start primary school in September. He was a reasonably behaved child until he turned 4, now I have no idea what's happened to him. He has no respect for his toys, he is disrespectful to other adults - including his soon to be head teacher - and has totally no respect for me. Example, when the head teacher was talking at a recent gathering for pupils to be he ran to the back of the room and started climbing on the chairs - when I stood to get him he thought it was funny and tried to run round the seating area, I was extremly embarrassed.

I have a feeling he is only behaving like this in front of me as his nursery teachers have said he is pleasant as nursery, any tips on how to deal with this unruly child?

I have done something a bit extreme to try and sort his behaviour out but he wasn't phased by it. I got some black bags and together we put all of the toys and books from his bedroom into these bags and I explained it was because of his behaviour and he has to earn them back. Unfortunatley I think he enjoyed doing it and walked back into his room and said ' ah it's lovely all tidy' - I was like ' no it's empty'. He just doesn't care. I have gave him a choice about being good and doing something fun or being naughty and doing nothing. He chose the later.

What to do????

When did you take his toys away? I know when we took DD's fave toy away she assumed she would get it back quickly - she didn't and when she realised this she wasn't happy! Dd is also 4 btw. We use the 123 magic - book was recommended on here which works well for us.

Just this afternoon, and before he went to bed I made him sit in his bedroom and think about why its' so empty. He says he will be good tomorrow - heard that one before!

I'm not sure at 4 that he is capable of modifying his behaviour just like that. Tbh at that age they can and will drive you to distraction - sounds like normal 4 year old stuff, I'm not sure he deserves having all his things taken away. At his age he will have very limited concept of exactly what the 'good behaviour' is that will earn him his stuff back - it's too abstract an idea for him probably.

Be wary of making him feel that he is A Bad Boy - he'll only play up to it. Praise him for good stuff, tell him that you love it when he's kind, or cuddles you, or asks for things nicely, be firm but not shouty when he misbehaves, don't make idle threats or punish for tiny things that don't really matter. Come down on him hard for things like biting, hitting, throwing things.

Should all be fine by the time he's about 32. Ish.

SYG I totally agree and think I was a bit harsh. Deep down I no he has no understanding of the whole situation I just couldn't think of any other way to teach him to value his belongings.

Have ordered the 123 magic book - thanks megan