He is lovely, social and very funny and cuddly.
He also is very stubborn and will only do things he wants to when he wants to.
He will decide walking down the road for example that he wants me to walk with my hand behind my back, often the way I do it is not correct and he gets very upset and stamps feet etc, I often refuse to do it then we have a full blown tantrum that even giving in doesnt solve. This happens at least once a day over various issues.
These things never happen with DH. DH when around does have a different more shouty way of dealing with things when he witnesses which reprimands DS2 but he still will not back down from his position.
He will not give in to any kind of reward bribery or punishment. He doesnt care if he gets sent to bed, gets no pocket money etc. He doesnt care if he is promised a magazine/chocolate or equivalent.
At nursery they cannot say enough nice things about him and have only witnessed this behaviour with me when picking up etc.
He is only behaving this way with me. Occasionally other adults he might get away with, my mum and dad perhaps, but even they usually get him to come around with bribery or a compromise (not advocating but this doesnt work for me).
It has come to head, when we went out yesterday and he was under the table, not eating, climbing, trying to get his brothers jacket and allowing himself to be dragged along the floor as DS1 tried to get away (he was holding onto the jacket).
I do have 3 DS, one is just 18 months and the other 6. DS1 is very quiet and really listens and looks after himself well, DS3 is very loud and attention seeking in a being a baby sort of way.
My thought are:
- middle child and craving attention; I do try really hard to do this. I make an effort to spend one to one time with him and encourage his interests. We do lots together. He mostly behaves this way when with others, particularly like when we were out with people yesterday. We cant not go out with people forever.
- His age, a lot of transition is going on and development, reception in Sept etc. Although he has sort of always been like this, it has just really got me down recently.
- There is something actually amiss that I need to address. The person I was out with yesterday suggested autism - however the fact that his behaviour is not like this everywhere suggests otherwise. I am also worried that my brother behaved very similarly as a child, would not back down and could be left sitting on a pavement and would never follow and now suffers with schizophrenia which first presented itself to us in compulsive repetitive behaviour.
I have spoken to lots of my mum friends who have witnessed him and most (a couple are teachers who I imagine can spot things sometimes) all think that it is far more personality related and have offered various strategies but nothing works.
Sorry for the long post, but please if you have any advice I would greatly appreciate it.