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Original poster

How do I deal with this behaviour.......? Please help

10 replies

Spongebob · 04/03/2006 19:34

DS is recovering from a very bad bout of flu with turned into a touch of pneumonia..he's just completed a course of anti-biotics and is much better.....although....his behaviour has changed. How can I put this, if he is offered a drink or food that he dosen't want, he starts to scream "no" and throws what appears to be a tantrum for ages....but also, on waking, he starts to cry hysterically and, although he dosen't want me to leave the room, he wont let me touch him or comfort him....this screaming can last up to 2 hours! He wont let me out of his sight and starts to scream even when I just pop to the loo. He wants nothing to do with his Dad, who, before the illness, used to bath him and read him bed-time stories. This is so exhausting and frustrating. Im pretty sure that he's not in any kind of pain....but he can go hysterical for no apparent reason??? Anyone experienced anything similar in their child?

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 04/03/2006 19:38

How old is he?

getbakainyourjimjams · 04/03/2006 19:53

Which antib's did he have?

TBH I'd dose up with probiotics (and also saccromyces if you can get it form someone who knows what they are doing), just in case its antibiotic related.

How long ago was it. DS2 has just had flu (no antibs) and he was grumpy for ages after it- I think they can be wiped out and you know what tiredness does to behaviour!

Original poster
Spongebob · 04/03/2006 22:07

Hes 19 months. I'm giving him pro-biotic yoghurts atm....and I do agree gbiyjj, I think he still feels grotty....Its just such a shock, as he was such a good little boy before, and I just feel so helpless.

OP posts:
getbakainyourjimjams · 04/03/2006 23:03

oh he's still little- he probably still feels poorly. I wouldn't notice the difference with ds3 (14 months) he's a nightmare at the best of time- such a temper! :o

Hope he's feeling better soon.

nannyme · 04/03/2006 23:20

My self devised (!) theory on boundaries says that when children feel unsure or out of sorts and in need of extra love and security they test the usual boundaries and all the things they know and trust and need (such as your love, your usual routine and your discipline strategies).

If you go with this theory for a mo, then does this tell you that your little boy who is possibly feeling quite shaken by being so unwell, is in need of a renewed sense that he will not lose you and all that he depends on? If he is really bad and really sick and really demanding, will you still keep on being there for him? I think that is what his behaviour is designed for - to test all those questions out.

Also, he may have got an inking that he can be pandered to omewhat as a result of normal extra attention while ill. He might be trying to extend this into wellness!

Everything will be fine in time I am sure.

eve2005 · 04/03/2006 23:32

i know all kids are differant but when my 13 month old throws a tantrum she does the pushing away thing you describe but i find hugging her to me on my lap and talking soothingly to her in a very low voice usually works alot better than letting her push me away. i think it's just a reflex and it just upsets them more when you take offense and move away.

Original poster
Spongebob · 05/03/2006 20:27

Thanks for your replies....even in one day the behaviour seems to be changing now....less crying and more ordering me around...and refusing food/drink etc...

OP posts:
WideAwake · 05/03/2006 20:33

24mnth DS shows varying degrees of these behaviours after every major sick spell. They just don't understand what being ill is all about and have no frame of reference for why they feel so bad. Seems to make them cling to routine (food/behaviour/cuddles) and go off on one when these are disturbed. When DS was being sick at night whoever went and cleaned him up was hated and avoided the next day till it wore off.

koolkat · 05/03/2006 21:13

sponge - that damned flu bug !

Luckily DS hasn't got the worst of it, just a cold a few weeks ago, but I did ! I felt like shit for about 3 days, but still felt awful for another 4 days or so. I have had a cough for the past 2 months !

I have a feeling your son is just not totally over it yet and unfortunately as they can't talk properly at this age (my DS is 20 months) they get easily frustrated when sick.

I have no advice really other than take it easy and it will all be over soon !

Original poster
Spongebob · 06/03/2006 15:33

Thanks all. Im sure its just a matter of time. He's just been thrown totally out of his routine....now he no longer naps during the day, wont touch milk and will only sleep in a single bed with me! My mum has been here for 10 days helping me and she's just gone back to Spain (where she lives) and I feel lost today :(

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