Aggression and reward chart help please!

[naturalbaby]

Ds2 has a problem controlling his anger and will scream and hit his big brother several times a day. Big brother does sometimes wind him up but generally they play very well and very independently together. Can anyone recommend a reward chart to help him stop hitting? I'm trying to avoid all negative words e.g no, don't, stop doing .... so I'm finding it hard to talk to him about it. He knows he should talk nicely to ds1 and if ds1 doesn't listen then he must tell me to help him but he just can't keep calm enough to do it and I can't supervise them every second of the day to intervene quick enough.

The other problem is that as a result of this, ds2 is getting a lot of attention and ds1 isn't. I've tried ignoring ds2 and making a fuss of ds1 but I can't work out how I should be treating ds2 when he hits. He has a thinking spot/step but this isn't stopping the behaviour.
Ds1 never needed rewards or incentives and is very laid back and caring but he's starting to do random things to prove he's good too then asking for a sticker like ds2. He doesn't need a behaviour reward chart but what can I do to stop him feeling so left out?

How old is your ds2? I think a reward chart praising him when he gets angry but calms himself down without hitting could be the way forward. Does he have any strategies for venting his anger? Do you know if there is anything underlying like a confidence issue etc?

I have a ds with anger issues and have found this book helpful www.amazon.co.uk/Volcano-My-Tummy-Children-Caregivers/dp/0865713499/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_b and there is also some good advice on the Supernanny website www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice/-/Parenting-Skills/-/Discipline-and-Reward/Dealing-with-a-very-angry-child.aspx

On the trying not to use negative words, my son goes to a special needs school and they always avoid negative words and will say to children "gentle hands" hth

Praise him for the strategies he uses to keep calm or move away from a situation.

Praise your other son at times when he tries to keep the peace, doesn't retaliate or helps his brother to stay calm.

Make managing the anger a team activity so they both learn to see it coming and find ways to avoid the aggression.

He's nearly 3. I can see certain obvious trigger e.g hunger, tiredness, ds1 winding him up but it's impossible to avoid these situations!
I have explained to ds1 how to help him because he keeps moaning "ds2 hit me!" so I ask him what he did/did he listen when ds2 asked him to leave him alone? Ds2 also understands that he hurt him by hitting, that makes him sad and he wants to make us happy so he shouldn't hit. It doesn't stop him loosing his temper though.

I am focusing on the good and ignoring the bad as much as possible but he's not a little toddler and as much as I don't want to focus on punishing him, he just isn't seeing/feeling any consequences of his actions till it's too late and I've got really cross with him.

Reward charts have worked really well with him so looks like I'll have to stick to a steady stream of stickers! I feel like it's undermining ds1's good behaviour so need to work out how he can earn stickers too.