2yr old won't go to sleep

[Lucyannieamy]

Our DD, now 26 months is sleep refusing, and it's driving us crazy.
When she was a baby I always bf or cuddled to sleep. When she was around 18 months she was doing really well at taking herself off to sleep in her cot. I'd stopped bf at 16 months. But since about 21 months she just refuses.We have a pretty good bedtime routine, with bath about 6.45, a story on my lap and then into bed about 7.30. It all got bad when she stopped cuddling in at story time and wanted to play. So cuddles are shorter and it's lay down with cuddle toys for sleep. Except she doesn't sleep. She might start off jumping around the cot or go straight into crying for another toy or more kisses. She won't have DH, so I have to go in.
The only thing we've not tried is not going in at all, but even going in when the music stops, a good 30 mins she's no where near trying to go to sleep. Leaving her crying for an hour can't be right?
Any ideas? On my way back up now after last 15min ago attempt, nearly 9pm now!

no ideas - just some sympathy! My 2 year old (25 months) has been a nightmare at bedtime in recent weeks. She has been having full on tantrums. To be fair, she was making such a racket I made the fatal mistake of getting her back up a couple of times, so that dd1 could go to sleep. But I've got tough the last 5 days, and left her in there, and just gone back to lie her down and tell her its sleep time. Its been a bit better the last few days.

The other thing that makes a huge difference is if she has napped or not. I've been dropping her nap most days, and if she is really tired she only has 1 hour and never past 3pm. She is far better at bed if she didn't nap.

Good luck!

Have you tried going to her but not picking up/cuddling, just give her a 'we're still here, it's sleeping time now', a quick kiss where she is in bed, no getting out of bed, and back out again. repeat as necessary. I couldn't leave mine to cry for ages, but also they need to get the message it is quiet time, nothing more exciting is happening etc

No advice - just feel your pain. I have just returned dd to bed, again, I can still hear her crying

Just asleep now, after going up and finding she taken her pjs off, redressing her, tucking her in again and saying good night and closing door, then her having a full on tantrum wailing, about to be sick crying(massively over tired now) - so back in, cuddles to calm her down and a good 5 mins of sitting in the chair cuddles until she finally relaxes and lay down again. This time I walk out and she goes to sleep. 9.05.
We really have done it all, rapid in and out often, leaving for a period and returning, bribery, removing all toys, having lots of toys, music no music, sitting on the floor, leaving door ajar etc. I've had her day time nap cut to 1 hr, or none some days, doesn't seem to make a difference. I did ban milk and water from her bedroom a while ago and that helped, one less excuse.
Currently we still have the bars on the cot, she's short for her age. But soon we have to take them off, so it's just going to get worse

have you tried the super nanny approach?

bedtime routine, say goodnight and leave
if they are crying wait 5 minutes go in repeat it is bedtime and kiss and leave
if they continue wait another 5 minutes go in repeat it is bedtime no kiss and leave
if they continue wait 10 minutes then go in lay them down in cot, don't speak and leave
stretch the time out between going in, and after first 2 times don't say anything

it works for some and not others, I think the idea is that they want you and want your attention, so you deny them attention, but go in to reassure

In the same situation. DD is 2 in 1.5 weeks and for the last week has been having massive tantrums at bedtime. We have taken the side off her cot as she has bruised her knees and chin jumping around in the cot and managed to climb out the other day so are now going back in every 10mins and putting her back to bed. So far we have been going for an hour (following an hour of me trying to read her stories and sit with her til she sleeps). I can hear the wine calling already!

Sadly, we are having issues too. DD is 2.3 and will happily go off to sleep in the day but come nighttime, all sorts of tantrums, crying, screaming ensues. She is still awake now. I just don't know what else to do. Her ideal scenario would be to have me sat with her until she goes falls asleep. She gets into bed just fine and once she goes off, she's fine until the morning...it's just getting her to go to sleep by herself that's the problem.

IIRC mine started to get scared of the dark about this age - you could try a nightlight and see if that helps? I remember being surprised when it worked as mine had been used to sleeping in a pitch dark room.

We have a nightlight, soft music.....nothing except mummy will do. Its the last day of school for dd tomorrow so in the holidays, I am going to get tough and crack this issue.

What about wearing her out - take her walking around the shops or better, the park for plenty of fresh air in the morning then a bit of a play in the park again in the evening.

Then make bedtime routine sleep inducing - I don't count the bath tbh as never relaxes DS. Have everything in her room so once she's out of the bath, straight to bedroom. Male sure curtains/blinds are closed and have a lamp on so feels cosy. Stay calm, so she picks up on your calm mood. Get out a few books - don't get annoyed if she wants to read millions, perhaps have a selection for her to choose from. Do teeth brushing/milk first then cuddle up and read for half an hour. Before the last book, tell her she's going to bed once finished then it's lights out. Same warming just before you finish.
Then lights out, into cot. Stay with her a bit, keep voice calm and say its bedtime etc. you could stay with her until she sleeps then start leaving as she improves or try the "I'm coming back in 5 mins" method. You tell her you're going to the loo but will be back. Pop out for a min then come back, sit with her for a bit then say you're just popping out again etc. we do this with DS (leaving him didn't work -are him anxious). He's now much better - we sit with him once lights out for ten mins or so, then pop in and out over 20-30 mins and he goes to sleep. It's less stress for all of us - whoever is doing bedtime can also get a break. Otherwise we'd get wound up - DS would pick up on the mood and mess around.

They're at the age where they want reassurance, they want to know what's happening and can fight sleep (we tell ds we're going to bed) and their imaginations go mad. So the bedtime routine really has to calm them down - cant expect them to just switch off. Imagine trying to sleep the night before something exciting happens - probably like that for them

Not much to add on the techniques suggested above - but what I would say is try to pick one and stick to it. The supernanny approach is good I think but it (and anything else) can take waaaaay longer to work than you think.

My DD was brilliant at going to sleep at bedtime when she was in a cot but all hell broke loose when we took the sides off (at 2.1). That hell continued to a greater or lesser degree for a good six months, with only a couple of short (couple of weeks) better patches - I'm talking usually a minimum of an hour and anything up to two to settle down. However we turned a corner a couple of months ago and she is now (2.9) pretty good again.

You have my sympathy. DD is going through this too (2.4). She was a terrible sleeper as a baby but got better and we were able to leave her and she'd go to sleep herself. We thought we'd got to the light at the end of the tunnel and it's all started again .

She seems to be a bit scared of the dark and last week there was a dragon in her bed (!), there have been fairies, monsters and all kinds of things stopping her sleeping . She is also saying she needs the loo (she wears a nappy for sleep time but she won't wee in it). It's a nightmare.

We have given her a night light and we leave her bedroom door open so she can hear us moving around. We have also left a book in her bed so she can look at it until she is sleepy. The last few nights have been slightly better (up once for 5 mins yesterday and she had gone to sleep on her own).

I'm at the end of my tether. We're supposed to be TTC number 2, but this is putting me off!!

So it was 10pm before dd went to sleep last night, awake at 6.30am as normal. Refused a nap today and we were out and about so I thought a train/buggy ride would send her off. No chance. Put her to bed, along with DD1, at 7pm. She is still awake, although not screaming and yelling. I just don't know how she does it.

OMG - I could have written some of these posts. Came on here for this exact reason and this thread was right at the top!

lucyannieamy - we have had the removing sleeping bag/pjs too so I can totally sympathise! I now put her sleeping bag on back to front and that stopped that little issue right in it's tracks - in fact you should have seen her face

SneexySnatcher our current problem seems to be the shouting for the potty for a wee once she is finally in bed - even though she still has a nappy on at night. I know it's all for attention, but as we are only 2 weeks into toilet training, I don't want to undo all the good work by not letting her use the potty

We are also having problems actually getting DD ready for bed (she is 2.4 by the way) as all she wants to do is run around the bed, won't brush her teeth or let me do it, won't let me put her PJs on (starts throwing herself about, or going floppy to prevent it). I try to keep everything as lighthearted as possible (even if I am screaming internally) as I know she is just waiting for a reaction - but it's driving me bonkers!! Any tips on how to actually get them to do stuff they know they need to do??

Just wanted t pint you all in the directin of the sleep thread. There are a couple of recent topics which are very similar. One started by me - called somehtn glike '2.5 years - is no nap the only solution' and the other is 'how long does your toddler take to go to sleep'. (Sorry dmon't know how to do links!)

For what it's worth I've had a couple of days of limiting her naps to 1 hour and it has helped in some ways - had lie0ins until 7.30am instead of getting up at 5am! But she was at nursery today and they didn't limit her nap (I did ask them to!!)..she's awake now...singing to herself in bed having been returned a million times since we came upstairs at 8.30pm!!!

Links here

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/1520257-2-5yrs-is-no-more-naps-the-only-solution

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/1518648-How-long-does-it-take-your-toddler-to-go-to-sleep-at-night

Hey. I've been fighting the sleep monster, for what seems like forever. I used to bf dd, and that's how she used to fall asleep.
We are now stuck with patting her back to get her off to sleep. I've also bored her with Beatrix Potter and that bored me too.
Definately get rid of the naps, it may take a week of fighting, but will be worth it.
Dd is 2y9mo, and is a lot more settled through the day too.
On a good day she's asleep by 7.30, but it's usually by 8.
Now me and dh don't know what to do with ourselves, as we used to argue over this very subject as a hobby.
I can recommend the book toddler taming ny Christopher Green. I never get books on child rearing, but this book was invaluable even with tantrums in mind.