13 mo DS doesn't eat

[GingerPCatt]

I need advise please!! My HV is suppost to refer him to someone but who knows how long it will take and his cardiologist thinks that since his weight is ok there isn't a problem.
DS drink ok and has 4-5 bottles a day. He'll also have about 15-20 Cheerios throughout the day -and this is an improvement. He'll put food in his mouth and chew but usually spits it out. We do meals at the table and snacks throughout the day. I try to offer a variety of foods and whatever I'm eating. The only thing that goes in somewhat reliably are cheerios.
DS has surgery when he was 3 wks and was on a ventalator for 5 days. I've been told that the ventalator can cause sensitivity or issues with swallowing.
Any advise would be helpful. I just feel like no one (HV/doc) are taking me seriously since DS's weight is steady. But he can't live on bottles alone forever! And I don't want to wait until his weight drops to do something. Thanks for listening (reading).

Could you try offering him water in his bottle instead of milk during the morning so that he's getting hungry around lunchtime? That might make him feel more inclined to swallow rather than spit the food out.

In Early Years a good principle to use is to start where the child is. So can you build on the fact that he'll eat Cheerios by mixing a similar cereal in with them, then once he's accepted them add something else new but similar?

It sounds like you have kept mealtimes calm and positive and not shown your anxiety to him which is good. Keep that up.

Has he ever eaten anything besides Cheerios? It's good he's putting the food in his mouth, at least he's trying. Some babies take longer to transition to solid foods and maybe he is just taking his time. It may be an idea to try decreasing his bottles to see if his appetite for solids will increase. I know you'd probably worry about doing this as he'll be getting less calories but a couple of days won't harm him. Also, what's your feeding schedule like, i.e. do you give him milk at the same time as solids or space it out? I found with DD it worked best when we spaced it out, so 7am milk, 9am breakfast, 11am milk, 1pm lunch, 3pm milk, 5pm dinner, 7pm milk. It's intense as you are constantly feeding but this phase passes very quickly.

If you think that he may have issues with swallowing, you can self refer your DS to your local Speech and Language Therapist service. You should be able to find the information on your local SALT services on your PCT's website or from your GP. I self referred DD to our local SALT and they worked with her as DD had some feeding issues too. Good luck!

Hang on in there a bit longer. My ds was like this, would put anything in his mouth and chew and then push it out with his tongue. When you cleared up the food at the end it was the same amount as you'd given him, just smushed up.

I kept on giving him different foods and one day he started actually eating it of his own accord. I couldn't believe it and put it down to a fluke but he just kept on eating.

Ds is breastfed so its harder to tell how much milk he was having when he was hardly eating. I was advised by hv to cut down his feeds so he would get hungry and eat. Did not work. He got very upset and refused meals completely and lost a tiny bit of weight . Its worth a try but if he's showing you he's not ready don't push it imo.

BTW ds never had surgery or health problems so it may just be him.

Should have said it was 15 months he started eating.

Thanks VJ that gives me hope.
He'll sometimes actually eat things like crackers or breadsticks but they have to be something that kinda dissolves for him to swallow it.
Right now I give him breakfast (cereal fruit yogurt) before his morning bottle. He then has another bit of bottle before his nap and the rest after. Next week I'm off work so I'll try giving him lunch or a snack before the rest of his bottle after his nap. I'll also try replacing his before dinner snack bottle with water and see if that helps his dinner intake.
I'll look into a self referral if the HV doesn't get back to me soon.
Many thanks for the suggestions and support.