my friend's ds hits all the time

[eastendgirl]

he even hit me the other day....he is 2.2, has always been very aggressive, now more than ever, quite scary sometimes. Often hits or bites my ds who is 2.6. My friend sometimes banishes him to the stairs, other times just tells him off. I am beginning to think it is her soft approach that makes him overstep boundaries, she often ends up giving him to his screams and tantrums, no consistency. My ds just stands there perplexed when he is attacked. What he is thinking I have no idea. I am beginning to feel that if my friend's child does not start behaving I will stop seeing her, I do like her a lot, but I don't understand why she is so scared about saying no to him. Anybody in a similar situation?

Also, 2.2 is very young, and some children do get so frustrated at that age. I think hitting and biting, regardless of who they are hitting and biting, are very very common.

annoying if your friend isn't cutting the mustard with discipline though.

His language is ok for his age, he started nursery 2 months ago, he is very unhappy there, apparently just cries, his rages have got worse since then. I feel sorry for my ds being hit all the time,and wonder whether it is making him feel sad, as I said he normally just looks perplexed when my friend's ds attacks him.

very normal for his age though. He sounds like he is quite an unhappy little boy. But if your friend won't be vigilent about stopping him hitting, I would avoid her.

I have a strongwilled child 2.5 years. I probably say "yes" to her a lot more than other parents - I don't feel bad about it, it is what she is. She wil go on and on and escalate if she does not get her way. Temperament comes into play alot - until you have had such a child, I don't think it is easy to understand. It is the choice between endless power struggles the whole day long or reasonable harmony with the occasional tantrum. Of course, anti-social behaviour like hitting is a big no-no and for that, I agree that consistency is absolutely key. But it does not have to be a hard approach - at this age, just stop the behaviour, calm the victim, tell the perpetrator that it is wrong to hit and (try to) get the child to say sorry. 2+ years is the age where many children get aggressive (often inexplicably). eastendgirl, if your ds hasn't gone through this phase, you are very lucky. At nursery, this happens daily in the 2-3 year age group - with the children taking turns to play victim and offender. I don't think it is necessarily linked to nursery either - because my dd plays with children who don't go to nursery and it is the same. But handled correctly, it should go away. They are still very young at this age ...