Toddler Meltdowns; how do I deal with it.

[TribbleWithoutACause]

DS is a lovely boy, but recently he's had two major meltdowns when we've left somewhere with toys (peoples houses).

These have been caused by him getting attached to a particular toy and then crying when I've taken it off of him. It got so bad that on both occasions, two well meaning older ladies have let him take the particular toys with him.

Obviously, I can't let this continue. But whats the best way to go about it?

Do I distract him with something 'special' from the changing bag before we go or do I just let him get on with it and pop him in the car/buggy?

Have you given him advance warning that you'll be leaving in five minutes and that he'll need to say bye-bye to the toy? If having had warning he still has a meltdown when the time comes, I'd let him get on with it but show some sympathy for how hard it is to leave the toy behind.

We do "swaps" on the door step. secretly give friend ds special toy, and get ds to swap before you leave. pretty much the same as your distraction theory

Let him get on with it an ignore it - they will soon forget - just let it wash over you.....

Also introduce the concept of "last play". It may not be the toy, it may be the leaving that is doing it. I use this everywhere, at the park, at friends houses and it works brilliantly. You basically say that you have to go soon and that is time for a last play, "what do you want your last play to be?" so at the park they may choose the slide. And then after that chosen last play you leave.

You must leave after the agreed last play and do so quickly. If they try to play on something else you walk away home - they will have a melt down but will follow. You only need to do this consistently 2 or 3 times and you have mastered it. No more tantrums when leaving parks, houses etc as they have been given fair warning and know you mean business!!

Honestly it has been a total lifesaver for me - try it.

DIY No I haven't been doing that, actually thats a good idea.

Actually these are all really good ideas. I'll try a few of them out and see how we go.

Gosh, I love MN. Got a problem, someone will inevitably have a sensible solution.

And don't worry, it's another one of those "phases". Bloomin' awful when you're going through it, but it doesn't last and then you forget about it, until your next child starts doing it....

Thank you!!!
Major bawling, kicking, hair pulling happens each evening for my 2.1yo DS and it drives me insane. He is such a happy bunny outside till its time to go in and it's a Jekyll/Hyde switch

Shall try the last play idea - thanks :)

I"m with you - my nearly 2yo often does similar. Thanks for the suggestions above.