Tell me about your 12 year old boys

[olibeansmummy]

Dss is 12 and has ADHD, he acts a lot younger than he is. We'd like to encourage him to act more age appropriately where possible, but sometimes I think we expect too much from him though as we don't have much experience of 12 year old boys.

So, does your 12 year old boy:

Brush his teeth?
Wash?
Change his underwear and socks daily?
Know when to put clean clothes on?
Share/ take turns with his siblings?
Play nicely without hurting his siblings?
Entertain himself?
Play out with friends?
Play with toys meant for toddlers?
Do his own homework?
Look after his property?

Thanks for your help :)

brush teeth, yes tho i do remind him sometimes!

wash yes showers every other day, he has long hair and is allowed to keep it long as long as he upholds his end of the bargain to wash it and brush it, occsaionally i say to him 'when did you last shower' as a reminder but he is pretty good.

change underwear and socks daily yes

know when to put clean clothes on, generally yes, occasionally i point out ot him he his wearing dirty/grubby ones!

share/take turns with siblings umm yes but he is not great at sharing tbh unlike his younger siblings!

play nicely without hurting his siblings, he can do but occasionally lashes out at ds2 and is told it is not ok, but tbf ds2 winds him up!

entertain himself, yes

play out with friends, yes

play with toys meant for toddlers, sometimes yes, esp if playing with dd an dds4 who are age 4 and 19mths!

do his own homework, yes he is really good with this actually!

look after his own property, umm yes and no he is a bugger for losing things!

hth :)

Sorry cant copy & paste.
No
No
No
No
Yes/no
Yes/no
Yes/no
No
No
No
No

Brush his teeth? Yes but I have to nag him occasionally
Wash? Only if he is going to see his mates or is filthy from football, otherwise I have to remind him
Change his underwear and socks daily? Yes
Know when to put clean clothes on? Yes
Share/ take turns with his siblings? Not always
Play nicely without hurting his siblings? Again not alwyas. Won't physically hurt them (they are 7 & 2) but will wind them up
Entertain himself? Yes for the most part
Play out with friends? Yes
Play with toys meant for toddlers? Yes but that is when he is in a nice mood and is playing with his siblings
Do his own homework? Yes, strangely he is very good at this
Look after his property? I would say 70% yes.

DS is 11 12 in a few months.
I remind him every day to brush his teeth and change his socks and pants. He would happily wear the same clothes every day for weeks.
Needs reminding to brush his hair and is sent for a bath but complains that he only needs 1 a week.
He is terrible for losing and breaking things.
Is very good with his younger siblings but can get carried away and needs reigning in.
He can entertain himself for hours but does not play out with friends at all.

We believe he is on the spectrum himself but we just roll with him.

Brush his teeth?- Yes, though he sometimes has to be nagged about bedtime.

Wash? - Yes, probably more than we can afford now that water is metered

Change his underwear and socks daily?- Yes.

Know when to put clean clothes on?- Yes, in fact he is a little fussier than I would really like. Or to put it another way: we need the rain to keep up with ds' water demands.

Share/ take turns with his siblings?- Only sibling is 15. but yes, they get on well.

Play nicely without hurting his siblings?- I wouldn't say they play as such, but they get on well, often sit and talk and sometimes go shopping together. He does play nicely with smaller children but in a kindly uncle sort of way iyswim.

Entertain himself?- Yes.

Play out with friends?- Yes. Not sure how much playing they do; it's more hanging out, going into town (and now doubt ogling girls).

Play with toys meant for toddlers?- No.

Do his own homework?- On the threat of detention, yes.

Look after his property?- He is not the tidiest of people.

12 year old boys are exactly that 12 year old boys, they are all capable of doing everything on that list, but as they are habitually scruffy dirty creatures if they can get away without say putting clean clothes on they will. Many adult males need reminding to clean up and pick up, they are BLOKES!!!!!

Brush his teeth? yes but reluctantly and so i tend to remind him
Wash? i don't think so. i force him into the shower once or twice a week.
Change his underwear and socks daily? usually
Know when to put clean clothes on? no
Share/ take turns with his siblings? no
Play nicely without hurting his siblings? no
Entertain himself? with screens yes, but if none available, no
Play out with friends? no
Play with toys meant for toddlers? no
Do his own homework? yes
Look after his property? no no no no

T

Thanks for your help everyone, it seems 12 year old boys are all very different!

I think our main worry is that his (lack of) personal hygiene will become a big problem as puberty hits. We remind him of what he needs to do, but he'll go in the bathroom, run the tap and not actually do anything, or have a shower ( when forced to ) but not actually wash :s he sleeps in his underwear and socks then just shoves clothes on over the top! The trouble is, his mum doesn't get up to see him off to school, so he won't be doing anything at home either.

He hurts his 3 year old brother ( my ds ) constantly and monopolises all his toys, we have to supervise them constantly, but that doesn't sound so different to some of the other boys.

He won't play out with his friends because he says the only play football and 'hang around'. I guess they are just growing up faster than he is but it'll be a shame if he loses his friends :( not sure there's a lot we can do to "make" him grow up though?

I think it is a tricky age because they grow up at such different rates and so many things happen so quickly.

My ds has got to the Lynx-spraying, hanging out with his mates, girl-focused stage whereas his friend next door is still very much a little boy who plays with toys and pushes other children over. Nothing wrong with either of them as far as I can see- just slightly different rate of development. And they do seem to change friends quite quickly at this age.

I don't think there is anything you should do to force his growing up (though you can obviously nag him to clean his teeth). It might help to get him into some hobby where the usual age divisions don't apply, so he can meet children of different ages. Drama, for instance, is often very inclusive. Or something like Scouts.

Ds is 12, will be 13 next month

So, does your 12 year old boy:

Brush his teeth? - yes but will 'forget' or consider swilling with mouthwash a good alternataive...
Wash? yes, showers every day. Has long-ish floppy hair and it goes greasy after a day so daily shower / hairwash is a must!!
Change his underwear and socks daily? yes, without reminding
Know when to put clean clothes on? yes - becoming 'fashion concious'
Share/ take turns with his siblings? yes, but will need occasional reminder
Play nicely without hurting his siblings? yes but can get to boisterous with nine year old dd
Entertain himself? yes, very well
Play out with friends? yes, mostly bmx-ing at local skate park or at a set of jumps they made out of soil in the woods
Play with toys meant for toddlers? not really
Do his own homework? yes but needs a bit of nagging to actually do it!
Look after his property? yes and no. He 'inherited' my dad's ipod when dad passed away last year. Ds has looked after it very well. His phone on the other hand has a cracked screen where he had it in his pocket and came of his bike at a skate park session...

And to add - his bedroom is a tip but the other day he asked to bake muffins whilst on an inset day and he wiped the kitchen down afterwards!!

Answers based on 12 yo DSS

Brush his teeth? Yes, but only when had a shower/wash - so if hehas a lazy day (with his mum), then it doesn' t get done.

Wash? Yes, showers daily - unless having lazy day

Change his underwear and socks daily? Yes

Know when to put clean clothes on?Yes, although sometimes has to be nudged.

Share/ take turns with his siblings? Yes

Play nicely without hurting his siblings? Yes

Entertain himself? Yes, mostly. Apart from when he is boooooooooooooooooooored..

Play out with friends? Doesn't do this

Play with toys meant for toddlers? ? But has a large collection of stuffed toys which he has to sleep with, and has only just stopped carrying around.

Do his own homework? yes

Look after his property? Yes, to a degree

Based on 13y/o DSS1

Brush his teeth? Sometimes.

Wash? When ordered to reminded to.

Change his underwear and socks daily? Socks, certainly not. I have my doubts about the underwear as well.

Know when to put clean clothes on? Normally.

Share/ take turns with his siblings? Normally for a while before he pulls rank (6y/o DSS2)

Play nicely without hurting his siblings? Depends on how much he's being annoyed by his little bro.

Entertain himself? Normally.

Play out with friends? Yes.

Play with toys meant for toddlers? Don't think so.

Do his own homework? Ha! That's a good one - procrastinator of the year, then tries to get you to complete it for him help him do it the night before it's supposed to be in.

Look after his property? Like a couple of weeks ago when he left his 2 mth old phone & wallet in the pub on Saturday afternoon and only realised at 10.15pm on the Monday? Good thing our mates handed them in behind the bar. He's now cacking himself over what would happen if he really did lose them.

DS is lovely most day & an irrational git rest of the time. When he digs his heels in all is non-negotiable & he loses all reason.

YES, no nagging:
Wash? mind my standards are low
Play with toys meant for toddlers? YES, with great joy
Look after his property? Yes if Star War Lego or his DSi, iffy or worse if anything else

YES, lotsa nagging:
Brush his teeth? has braces, I can't let him mess this up
Change his underwear and socks daily? I don't care about socks, he is down to 2 pairs of pants and did not tell me, sigh
Know when to put clean clothes on? sorta

You Must Be Joking:
Share/ take turns with his siblings? depends which sibling
Play nicely without hurting his siblings? ditto
Entertain himself? sure, as long as he can get to Minecraft, else likely to constantly whinge
Play out with friends? none locally so not an issue
Do his own homework? hahahahahahahahaha

Teeth - Yes but will spend half hour in the bathroom doing his hair & still come out without cleaning his teeth so i do remind him.
Wash - Yes showers daily
Underwear - yes but only because he takes them off to shower, slings them on the floor & they get wet.
Chnage clothes - yes
Siblings - Yes knows how to play but usually ends in tears
Entertain himself - Yes very good at amusing himself
Play out - Can do, is allowed do but friends dont live near us so doesnt an awful lot unless pre arranged
Toys meant for toddlers - Would givent he chance but we dont have any
Homework - Yes with usual (almost a teenager) moans & delay tactics
Property - Can do but has lost numerous items of uniform this year, does a lot of sport & never seems to come home with every thing.

I think 12 yr old boys generally are disorganised, scatty & hormonal add in to that your ds's ADHD i can imagine it being a difficult age.