My 4yo said "oh sh*t" today... Does that make me a terrible mother?

[designerbaby]

It's my expletive of choice, I must admit.

I am naturally a bit sweary, but I try really hard not to. And I try not to swear in front of the children, and if I do, it's under my breath. But clearly too frequently, and not quietly enough though...

I was mortified. DD2 had just spilled tomato soup all over herself. DD1 said it before I had a chance to mutter it when going to fetch a cloth.

I told her that it was a bad word, that Mummy shouldn't say it, grown-up's generally shouldn't say it, and that children definitely shouldn't say it.

She said she wouldn't say it again. She definitely will though.

But now I blardy well have to make sure I don't...

Grab onto those judgey pants and get hoiking ladies. I'm prepared...

db
xx

I tell my kids that they can tell me off if I swear which has worked well.

My DS called me a, well, he said "bucket bitch" but clearly meant "fucking bitch." HE IS NOT QUITE FIVE. I have never been so shocked in my entire life! I never, ever say anything like that around him and neither does DH.

He had no idea how bad it was, I don't think, he just knew it was not a nice name to call someone and he was angry with me. I think from the utter shit storm that descended upon him, he knows now.

Not quite the same, but DD got a blood blister under the nail of her middle finger and insisted on showing everyone. Well, you can imagine what that looked like... Had to explain to her that some people do that to be rude, and some people will get upset if you do that, so please, not to...

I'm feeling MUCH better!

I think making DD1 into 'swear monitor' getting her to fine me 20p or whatnot if I swear, may well be the best tactic. She very much has a 'prefect' mentality...

Nice little earner for her too

Didn't help that our 13 yo neighbour was over helping with tea-time/bathtime after school (as she often does, she's FAB ) just collapsed into uncontrollable giggles, while I was trying to be all serious about not saying 'bad words'...

We'll see how it goes. I'm imagine DD2 will become quite a swearer in due course. She's the type... .

db
xx

Yesterday I said that something was "shite" in front of 5yo DD2.
"Don't you mean shit Mummy?"

Eternaloptimist please DO share the fucking gummibears story...

DH once came home from work and started ranting about our at the time new dog 'pissing' up the door frame.

Que dd2 who was hiding behind the bathroom door popping out and proudly announcing "I've done a pish in my potty"

I've told them swearing is for grown ups only and when they're living in their house, paying their own bills they can swear as much as they like, until then they'll be grounded if I ever catch them. They still push the limits. I constantly have conversations as to whether bugger, bloody, hell etc. are swear words because X at school says them all the time and he doesn't pay his own bills

Don't worry. I was rubbish at stopping myself swearing in front of the children, but as they grew older i always told them that that is a bad word and not one you use in front of a teacher and they never have. I don't know if they swear when with friends, but i don't hear them swear. As long as they know what words are appropriate to use when it is fine.

dd has invented her own swear substitute "Ag!", which I'm now using myself. She's 3 and tells me off if I so much as start to say shit.

It's surprisingly satisfying to say and feels like swearing even though it's not.

I remember once when DS1 was about 2. He was playing with his trains and clear as a bell said 'And Thomas said to Percy, Oh do fuck off'

lolol at Thomas saying to Percy, 'Oh, do fuck off'.

The Fucking Gummibears Story involved a LONG road trip with two children, a dog and bruised ribs from falling off a bike two days before the journey.

We had been travelling for HOURS and I was keeping them going by passing handfuls of gummibears every so often. DD was 8yo and DS 6yo. When DD dropped her gummibears on the floor, DS reached down and picked them up but - shock horror - gave DD the wrong gummibears back.

'I didn't have a yellow one, I had a green one. I don't want a yellow one, give me back MY gummibear'

There followed an argument about gummibears that went on for many miles until, at the utmost end of tether, I shouted, 'JUST EAT THE FUCKING GUMMIBEARS'.

Not my proudest parenting moment.

There was utter silence then the sound of gummibear munching and my hysterical giggles.

We stopped for coffee shortly afterwards so that I could compose myself.

I think you've done well to get to 4 before the first swear word, I'm usually good but when driving I do relapse and DS always sings whatever rude word I've said for the rest of the journey

this probably doesn't help either:

www.amazon.co.uk/Go-F-Sleep-Adam-Mansbach/dp/1617750255 oops!

Eternal, that's a great story... I have to say, in the car is probably where she'll have heard it the most, as in "oh sht" "you total sht" etc.

I should probably be on the lookout for the day she says "You total asshle-fckwit-muppet"... It can't be far off... [guilty]

IMcHunt, I'm going to be drilling her and myself into saying: "Oh how exasperating!". Which I think would just be utterly splendid. .

Cherie froufrou ? have the audio book already. Haven't played it to the kids yet but have played it to everyone I know. It is utter, sweary perfection, is it not?

db
xx

yes, I am terrible for road rage.

I like the idea of training them to say, 'Oh, how exasperating' - you need to get the tone just right on that.

My dd went through a phase of shouting, "Will you shut that bloody door?!" if she ever spotted an open door, grandma to thank for that one.

When ds1 was about 3 we were at my parents' house. He was outside with my Dad who was getting the barbecue out. Dad came in absolutely peeing himself laughing. I asked what was up and he repeated what had happened.

Dad had dropped the grill and shouted 'fiddlesticks', and then asked "does mummy say fiddlesticks E?"

To which my lovely, wonderfully polite ds1 said "No. Mummy says 'Oh bollocks!'". Little sod.

They all pick up 'bad language' from their peers once they start school anyway! My 17 year old uses the worst language, picked up from school and mainly directed at me. You are only postponing the inevitable!