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DD Being split by bullying friends - advice please

2 replies

AnnieSpambot · 15/07/2012 22:56

My 8 year old has been very friendly with three other girls. Two of them are now horribly bullying the third. My daughter is caught squarely between the them. She very much likes all of them, and does not join in at all I am positive, but is finding it difficult to clearly state how much the two upset her with their treatment of the third.
One of the two has worried myself and my husband in the past with trying to control and monopolise my daughter, but now this is getting too much for her. The parent of this girl has in my presence overheard some very nasty comments from her daughter and failed to respond at all, even when I then have suggested the comments to be less than kind and upsetting.
How do I support my daughter and get her to stand up for her friend without further inflaming the situation? It's got to the stage where I don't want the two bullies near my daughter.

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CBChester · 15/07/2012 23:05

You should talk to their teacher about this, assuming they have a good one they should be able to deal with it effectively. Unless they have already broken up? If so do you know the girls mums? Could you talk reasonably to either of the bullying girls mums?

Also what about the parents of the girl who is being bullied, do they know about it? If it was my DD I would want to know. Good luck, my DD is 10 and fortunately haven't had to deal with this kind of thing yet Hmm

AnnieSpambot · 15/07/2012 23:23

Their teachers have been great, but they were split into two classes so it was more difficult to tackle at school, and yes they've broken up now. The four mums are all friends, which is actually making it harder strangely, and is also responsible for them being thrown together sometimes.
I was shocked at the non reaction of the one when she clearly heard some inappropriate comments. Both then and in the latest event it was left to me and my husband to tackle her daughter and suggest it wasn't the kindest thing to say, and ask how it would make her feel. Unfortunately there were several other chldren in my charge at the time so it was difficult to tackle it head on.
The mum of the girl targeted does know, and was busy comforting her daughter.
It's more how I get my daughter to respond. As I say, she isn't getting involved at all, though she is comfortable telling the other two what a good time she has with the bullied girl, and makes no bones about how much she enjoys spending time with her. I feel it is time she maybe told them she doesn't like their behaviour, but I am worried she might inflame the situation rather than improve it. She is the common link between them, and with one of the girls my husband and I think think it is more jealousy that she has another friend which has prompted her to join in, rather than dislike of the girl herself, who she doesn't even know so well.

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