Tips for removing bedtime nappies for 4 yr old?

MDM · 2012-07-14T21:00:17+00:00

I have a bright 4 yr old DD. We had no problems with potty training at 2yrs 3 months. However, are struggling with night-time. Tried a few times to remove night-time pull-up, but it results in a couple of dry nights followed by 5or six of wet bed at around 5am. Any tips?

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

notnowbernard · 14/07/2012 22:03

don't bother until nappies are dry

it's not a control thing, it's a hormonal thing. night-time dryness won't happen until the child produces the hormone desmopressin (think that's the name)

Production can happen anytime up until the age of about 7

Loads of 4yr olds aren't dry at night, nothing to do with intelligence

Seona1973 · 14/07/2012 22:03

wait a while and try again. Night-time dryness is linked to production of a hormone that suppresses urine at night-time. It also requires the child to be able to wake when their bladder is full. Night wetting isnt considered a problem until at least the age of 7.

whyme2 · 14/07/2012 22:05

Then your dc is not ready to be without a nappy at night, sorry.

Being dry at night is not related to being dry during the day. As children develop they produce a hormone which slows urine production down at night which in turn leads to a child becoming dry at night. This can take a fair few years (often until age 7 or 8) for the child to get this.

My dd was wet at night until age 7 when it suddenly happened. Our GP at the time explained and said that children were not refered for help until after the age of 7 because it is a developmental issue.

cece · 14/07/2012 22:05

My DS1 was like this. I just waited for him to tell me when he was ready. He finally did it just before his 5th birthday. No stress involved. Just chatted to him about it and I told him to tell me when he was ready.

SauvignonBlanche · 14/07/2012 22:05

Yes, wait a bit longer.

AuntPepita · 14/07/2012 22:21

DD used to wake up from around 2.5 crying 'take my wet nappy off' - whcih I did and she was dry the rest of the night.

Then I just started putting her in bed with no nappy, reminding her....and it worked. I don't know why...

If she can do it some nights try the old fashioned 'lifting' method and put her on the potty before you go to bed. They barely wake up and go straight back to sleep.

notnowbernard · 14/07/2012 22:23

'Lifting' might acheive dryness but you are simply toiletting them

I was told to avoid lifting by eneuresis clinic

Or if you really want to do it, make sure they are fully awake else they are basically weeing whilst asleep

AuntPepita · 14/07/2012 22:58

Oh please feel free to ignore - its all homespun crap - no science to it :)

Does it matter if they are weeing whilst asleep as long as it is in a toilet not the bed? Genuine question?

RosemaryandThyme · 14/07/2012 23:09

Of course it matters - your basically training the child to wee whilst their asleep - instead of training them not to. Thus pro-longing the time it takes for them to actually be independently dry. Lifting a kid out of bed to sit them on the loo half-asleep is just utterly irrational.

AuntPepita · 14/07/2012 23:16

I understand that logically, 100%....but this is how my mum, nan, great nan etc all trained their children - and it worked.

Maybe the issue is they had cloth nappies to wash out so wee in the toilet was better than wee in the nappy or bed; if you are using disposables, then it doesn't matter in the same way? ie it doesn't matter if it takes them longer to train, as long as they are not weeing where it would need washing?

I don't have an agenda either way

RosemaryandThyme · 14/07/2012 23:29

Generally cloth nappy and no-nappy infants do train considerably earlier than disposable nappy babies, pre 1950's it was common for children as young as 18 months to be trained to use a pot (not to be climbing up to sit on a loo as such).
By the age of the OP's infant most children would not,historically, be wetting the bed - this was becasue they slpet more lightly, awoke more frequently and used the potty under the bed during the night (lighter sleeping and easier waking due to having to share bed with sometimes multiple siblings).

Unlless your Great nan was very wealthy and had an indoor toilet, she really wouldn't have been treaking down the garden to the loo, by candle-light, carrying your mum on the off chance that she'd wee in hersleep. Much more likely to have lined the bed with newspaper.

AuntPepita · 15/07/2012 08:07

No definately not a toilet - chamber pot under the bed (I'm only 33, but we had one too when I was little)

sheeplikessleep · 15/07/2012 08:20

DS1 is 4.9.

He has literally only just got the whole dry at night time thing. It was about 3 or 4 times a week he was dry in the morning. It went from that to suddenly being dry every morning.

As others have said, it's a hormonal thing. It will happen in it's own time.
I waited until 10 days of dryness, before he went nappy free.

Since then, he's had one wet pj bottoms in the middle of the night (and even that was just dribble on bottoms, sheet wasn't wet). I genuinely think if I'd pushed him earlier, we would have both been up several times a night for a few months.

CecilyP · 15/07/2012 11:12

I can understand the logic of not lifting, but if OP's DD is literally dry till 5 am, rather than about 7 am when she might be getting up anyway, there might be some sense in it. It is possible she can go for a number of hours without a pee, but just not as many as a 4 year old would normally sleep.

I disagree with waiting for nappies to be dry before trying, as DS never had a dry nappy in the morning, but when I took him out of night nappies, at 3.2, he very rarely wet the bed.

If OP's DD has had several consecutive nights of wet beds, then it might be best to leave it a while.

fanoftheinvisibleman · 15/07/2012 11:18

Ds never had dry nappies either but I left it quite late by a lot of peoples standards until he actually asked to do it. He was 5 years and 4 months and told me one morning he didn't want pull ups in bed anymore. We had about 3 accidents in the first 6 months and never looked back.

I would really recommend waiting till they're ready and when people start being honest a lot of people have admitted to me that theirs were in night time nappies in reception too.

fanoftheinvisibleman · 15/07/2012 11:18

Ds never had dry nappies either but I left it quite late by a lot of peoples standards until he actually asked to do it. He was 5 years and 4 months and told me one morning he didn't want pull ups in bed anymore. We had about 3 accidents in the first 6 months and never looked back.

I would really recommend waiting till they're ready and when people start being honest a lot of people have admitted to me that theirs were in night time nappies in reception too.

CecilyP · 15/07/2012 11:47

The only thing I would add, is that you can't really know they are ready until you try. I felt I was taking quite a gamble - even bought a rubber sheet - but it was a gamble that paid off.

quornmummy · 15/07/2012 12:02

I don't think there should be a rush. I don't think there is a link between day time and night time dryness and intelligence. it will happen when the child is ready. ignore pressure from others. My 3 year old is dry at hight 80% of the time but I never even think about it. When her body is ready it will be ready.

mumeeee · 15/07/2012 16:20

becoming dry at night is completly different to being dry during the day, There is no connection between them and you can't train a child to be dry at night. As someone else has said it's a hormanal thing. Sometimes the hormone can take a long time to kick in and some children aren't dry at night until they are tenagers. Don't lift at night it actually encorages them to wee in thier sleep unless you wake them up completly.

Original poster

MDM · 15/07/2012 21:41

Wow, thanks so much for sharing your wealth of knowledge, but more importantly, for your reassurance. I knew I could rely on you mumsnetters!

OP posts:

Africagirl1 · 16/07/2012 20:39

My son only just got it right a few months ago (he is five). We started to wake him up to wee before we went to bed and this seemed to help him along quite a bit. We eventually dropped the nappy and did this and after a accidents he got it right. I'd wait and not worry (but do try the waking him up to wee thing)

ZuleikaD · 17/07/2012 06:31

Can people stop referring to 'getting it right' or 'getting it'? It's not like learning to count, or suddenly understanding the connection between letters and sounds - it's something the body does independently, not consciously.

streetcar · 17/07/2012 16:15

This is really reassuring. We've just put DS (4.3) back into nighttime nappies. He was completely dry for well over a year, then suddenly started wetting the bed about 6 months ago. We've tried lifting him, but it doesn't make much difference so it's back to nappies (to his huge disgust). I find the hormone thing confusing though, if he was dry for such a long time I wonder why he started wetting the bed again?

HorsesDogsNails · 17/07/2012 16:24

My DS was dry at night at 3, my DD stopped wearing pull-ups at 9 but wasn't reliably dry at night until she was virtually 10 - we did nothing different with them, both were out of nappies in the day before their 3rd birthdays, it just was what it was.

I never made a fuss with DD, I never complained about a wet bed. I did lift her nightly for about 6 months but stopped and now she wakes and goes for a wee in the night if she needs to.......

It's nothing to be ashamed of, and is not linked to intelligence!

tendtorant · 17/07/2012 16:24

DD is nearly 6 and still in pull ups at night. DS has been completely dry at night since 2.5. I suspect quite a few of DD's peers in Reception are still in pull ups at night but for some reason most people wouldn't admit it. As others have said the GP won't even start investigating until they're gone 7. MDM - keep the pull ups on and let everyone get a good night's sleep would be my advice!