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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Setting the trolley-bound toddler free - encouraging independence or complete madness?

30 replies

gladbag · 03/03/2006 13:16

Silly dilemma, but I'd really appreciate your thoughts....
Dh was taking ds (2.1) to the supermarket for a quick shop to buy stuff for cake-making back at home (he had ds for the afternoon). As they were going I noticed he had ds' toy shopping trolley. On asking what he was doing dh told me that he thought it would be fun to let ds put the stuff in his trolley, as they were only getting a few bits. I was completely horrified. Ds sits beautifully in the trolley when shopping, and I don't think it's ever occured to him that he has the option of getting out. He doesn't even try to stand up. He just chats and smiles and puts stuff in for me. I do all the big shops, and I can imagine now the tantrums that will take place once he has experienced trolley-free shopping if I then try to put him back in. He's generally ok with listening and stopping when we're out walking, but I just can't cope with the thought of chasing him round the aisles and all the extra stress it will involve.
So, my query is...

At what age did you start doing toddler-roaming-free shopping?
Was it a liberating experience or a nightmare?
Am I a mean old reactionary mummy with no sense of adventure, and no desire to encourage my toddler's interests and independence (unlike fun-loving, creative and supportive daddy) or am I sensible leaving things as they are a bit longer?

(Can you tell that dh and I had a little discussion about this )

OP posts:

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dinosaur · 03/03/2006 13:18

It's a nightmare. Don't do it until you absolutely have to.

WideWebWitch · 03/03/2006 13:20

Agree with dino. Dd is 2.4 and has never been allowed out of the trolley, thsat way madness lie. My ds wasn't allowed to roam until he was about 4. But I may be remembering that badly! You are right and dh is wrong, it's a nightmare if you let them out.

MamaG · 03/03/2006 13:20

Madness! My DD sat in the trolley until she wouldn't fit (age 5 heehee). It's not necessarily you and your child that causes the problems, but the other people who just don't look where they are going - and your DS's head will be just the right level for the front of a trolley!

I knew I had to stop putting DD in the trolley the day she got stuck and I had to take her shoes off to get her out, with the help of 2 other shoppers

My DS (2 next week) will be firmly in the trolley for as long as poss!

Wallace · 03/03/2006 13:20

Dd will be five in June and still goes in the trolley Ds is 6 and doesn't...but only because he won't fit in! he likes to stand on the front of the trolley.

Keep them caged for as long as possible I say

Lio · 03/03/2006 13:20

ds (2.5) is allowed out when it's not busy and he won't be a pita. He can not be relied upon to sit nicely in the trolley helping. He is more likely to play at 'falling over' which is not good with loaded trollies coming at him.

Warning: in a period of about 10 seconds while I was paying, he got out of the door and crossed a road in the car park so just be careful if you do set yours free.

welshmum · 03/03/2006 13:21

I didn't have any trouble with dd, she did it when she was about 2 and a 1/2. I guess it depends on the child. Now she sometimes sits in and sometimes walks with me - depending on how tired she's feeling.

NotQuiteCockney · 03/03/2006 13:22

I did trolley-free shopping from before 2. But

a) I never did big shops, I always do those online
b) the trolley-free shopping trips were always very very fast and fun
c) they always went wrong at the tills, anyway.

Wallace · 03/03/2006 13:23

When we were on holiday in the summer the supermarkets had child-sized trolleys, and it was a nightmare. I was constantly shouting and the kids to be careful, and apologising to other customers.

NotQuiteCockney · 03/03/2006 13:23

Oh, and I did trolley-free with four kids (5, 4, 2, 1) the other day. Two mums, but the other was actually trying to do shopping.

It was really really tough.

Enid · 03/03/2006 13:24

I have done trolley free with mine from a young age but tbh its more fun and quicker if they stay in the trolley.

I'd be more worried about the idea of taking a toy trolley with me everytime I went bloody shopping

Nightynight · 03/03/2006 13:31

Ha ha ha.....keep them in trolleys as late as possible. Five years is too early to be roaming loose imo.

Things my children have done while roaming loose:

left the supermarket to go and wait by the car "because I was bored, mummy"
played hide and seek on the shelves, behind stacks of loo paper
started fighting in the middle of a crowded shop
loaded the trolley with loads of stuff I don't want, some of which passes occasionally through the checkout unnoticed.
shoplifted (toddler hiding stuff under his anorak, because he knew that mummy would say No...he didnt realise you were supposed to pay for things!!)

Original poster

gladbag · 03/03/2006 13:39

Thank you all. I'm glad it's not just me then

Dh and his creative ideas for ds will be contained within our 4 walls for a bit longer yet (and if he wants proof, I will show him this).

And yes, Enid, I'd also foreseen that every shopping trip, and possibly any other trip (library, swimming, beach) would there after involve bringing along the toy trolley, which is not something I'd relish...

OP posts:

gomez · 03/03/2006 13:42

DD2 (20 months) hardly ever goes in the trolley but then DD1 (5, rising 6) chaperones. They are both really very good thou'.

meowmix · 03/03/2006 13:49

DS (2.5) hasn't gone in the trolley since he can walk as DH is determined to make him walk everywhere (he's wierd that way). He is pretty well behaved in my view, but prob not in the view of other shoppers. The biggest challenge is stopping him getting behind the fish counter usually.

fruitful · 03/03/2006 14:03

Dd is 3.9 and goes in the trolley. I have managed to make her believe this is a big treat and she'll have to walk if she doesn't behave herself. .

Monkeysmom · 03/03/2006 14:07

Trolley free only because Ds (2), refuses to go in the trolley.
Nightmare, it always ends up in a tantrum.
Very sensible mummy.

nzshar · 03/03/2006 14:08

DS (20 months) is hardly ever in the trolley now. When we go just the 2 of us in the week its only for a small shop and i do take the buggy just in case he gets tired and also to put him in at the checkout.At the weekend we do our big shop but all 4 of us are there me, dp, dss(12 years old) and ds. So basically i shop and they play silly buggers all the way around.

I love to give ds a lot of independence but he knows if he starts to wander off and not do as he is told then its back in the trolley/buggy (usually in a tantrum but ignored) :o

edam · 03/03/2006 14:15

I think taking a toddler with their own toy shopping trolley must be a dad thing as my dh does it too. Apparently they get stopped by loads of passers-by cooing.

Ds will be three in July so has outgrown his buggy for short trips. Pain in the bum as I can't carry so much stuff buggy-less, tbh (I don't drive). He does run away sometimes but I find that giving him things to do keeps him occupied – carrying a cucumber, finding the washing powder, spotting three red things, whatever.

HTH

edam · 03/03/2006 14:18

Oh, took him to the craft shop yesterday and he managed to get himself stuck in the middle of six carousels of cards. I had no idea how to get him out again and just had to tell him, you got in there... find your own way out!

serenity · 03/03/2006 14:23

DD (2.4) goes in the trolley. She's officially too big for the seat anyway (weighs 16kgs) I never do big shops anyway so if it's not a big problem if she wants to trolley surf.

Wallace · 03/03/2006 15:52

Good idea fruitful

gladbag - you can always tell ds that it is only with daddy he gets to walk, so your dh can have all the hassle

My dd was weighed today - only 15kg at 4years and 8 months so still allowed in the trolley seat!

NannyL · 03/03/2006 18:26

I keep them in the trolley as long as possible...

my 3 1/2 year old charge now doesnt sit in the trolley but only cause "mummy" has let ehr in the past!

My old charge went in the trolley every time until he started school. (tho he was a May birthday, so only 4 and a bit!)

FrannyandZooey · 03/03/2006 18:47

I take ds (nearly 3) on a Sunday when it's quiet, well, in our local town centre store it is anyway. On other days I find it is too busy and he gets in people's way / they barge into him.

Ditto NQC about online shopping (or by phone from my fruit and veg man). If you've got 10 things to get, it's a fun trip.

harpsichordcarrier · 03/03/2006 18:58

i have done free range since dd1 was around 2
actually I give her the choice, but she usually goes free range.
It is quite fun..... mostly
BUT I try and do the Big Shop by myself in the late evening (about 10pm when I have the place to myself....)

expatinscotland · 03/03/2006 19:02

Trolley all the way! Life is mad enough.

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