How the heck do I get DS (3.9) to get dressed?

[Biscuitsandtea]

OK,

So ds1 is 3.9 and every day we have a big issue about getting dressed. Now, it's not exactly temper tantrums or anything like that. He just won't get on with it.

He is perfectly capable physically of getting dressed, ie in terms of the mechanics of putting each item on. He doesn't refuse to do it (verbally) but he will just sit there and sit there and sit there and not actually do anything.

Now I know I could just get him dressed to avoid the problem but at nearly 4 (if he were 3 weeks older he'd be starting school in September) I need to get him to do it himself.

So inevitably after 30+ minutes of cajoling, reminding, asking etc I will end up shouting at him / getting cross etc . Not proud of it at all but I just don't know what to do with him. I've tried sitting with him calmly giung at his pace but he still just sits there not actually doing anything. I've tried telling him I'm going downstairs and he can come down when he's dressed. Lots of tears about wanting me there (but if I'm there he still doesn't do anything). I've tried a sticker chart for getting dressed without reminders - he is pleased when he gets a sticker (rarely happens) but not bothered in the slightest if he doesn't get one. I've even withdrawn treats until he warns his stickers (so the only way to get treats is to earn stickers) still no joy.

I'm just totally out of ideas and fed up of ending up shouting at him every day about it. after he's dressed, he's fine and we don't have rows all day or anything.

I do appreciate that a lot of it is his temperament and the fact he's 3 but I do need him to just learn to get dressed.

Any ideas pleeeeeeeease?

DS1 is 9, has always been like this - still is now. I hate nagging him but nothing happens if I don't! The only thing that works is actually physically giving him his clothes and making eye contact when asking him to put them on. Or making it a race / competition with DS2, 5, who can be a bit slow but usually does what he's asked without probs.
It's partly a boy thing, partly attention / following instructions issue with my DS in particular. Is your DS good at following other instructions?

It varies with following other instructions - sometimes fine, sometimes like this, but getting dressed is by far the worst and most consistent problem.

We've tried races against us or against me getting ds2 (4 dressed) with little success this far. He either says 'I love it when you win' or cries if you win. Ds2 is obv too little to race yet but I am hopeful that he will provide a better more desirable race when he's older. Oddly he loves races to get undressed and they work a charm. He can get undressed in like less than a minute

From another thread - the Quick Kids app if you have a smart phone (it's free)

I think standing over him is the only way - so now your pants, now your trousers - its pretty common with boys in particular through - there will be loads of his age that being dressed by parents

• I do wonder if its the physical closeness - its like getting a cuddle - that they look for also if DS2 is being dressed then maybe he feels like he is missing out? so it might be you leave it for now

DD is 4 and takes ages to get changed. Sometimes it's fine but mostly takes a load of cajoling.

If we are going somewhere fun, I can get her to dress herself super quick, when I am in a rush to go to work and she is to go to preschool it can take an age. I must admit, due to the rush I end up changing her.

Sit with him Reading a book until he gets on with it (obviously he's not allowed to do anything else, either).

Would it bother him if he went out in his pyjamas - some children would be mortified by this but others wouldn't really care so not sure if it would work.

Will give it a go.

I've tried a sticker chart and, as I say, it hasn't really worked but I think it's because he sort of forgets what he's supposed to be doing? So hopefully this would give him a bit of focus. I've also tried using the timer on my phone to set a time limit but it was quite a 'negative' way of doing it. As in he could only 'fail' but not doing it within the time iyswim. This app hopefully makes it more positive - as in he can earn a reward.

I'll give it a go. I am just so sick of listening to myself shouting at him about it - I really hate being 'that' parent

Sorry cross posts with loafs of posts. I don't think going out in his pyjamas would bother him at all .

And reading a book with him would be his dream come true! He loves books (and I read to him a lot) so if I sat reading before he got dressed he just never would. I'm sure he'd have me there all day given the chance. I've used it as a reward before, but maybe I could combine the book reward and the app thing to give him a book if he gets a star and then a bigger reward of he completes his reward chart.

I'm pretty convinced that carrot rather than stick is the way to go so hopefully u can get a new strategy together.

And yy to whoever said about a bit of because ds2 is being dressed etc. I think that might be part of it because often he says he wants someone there with him, rather than saying he needs help with the clothes. So I do think there is something in that. A lot actually. So I need to make sure I'm dedicating the time to him too rather than trying to multi task and get everything done.

It would be so easy if he would do it while I was getting DS2 and me ready . Fact is that is never going to happen so I just need to deal with it .