4 yr old refuses to stay in bed unless iie with him

[Teensy]

My 4 yr old is outgoing, happy boy but refuses to stay in his bed at night unless I lie with in until he falls asleep. Any one got any advice on how to deal with this. I sometimes have to lie with him for over 30 mins until he drops off

Sit in a cushion on the floor until he falls asleep and then gradually move the cushion position night by night until you eventually make it out of the door (may take a while but pain free) alternatively tell him he has to stay in bed and keep returning him until the message gets through (will prob be quicker but more stressful)

Hi, thanks for that. I have tried the pick up and put back method, but he wears me down doing it that way, he just won't give up and thinks it is funny. Yes, the cushion thing has worked in the past, but doesn't seem to work at the moment, as he wont let me sit away from the bed. Thanks though - think I need to persevere with cushion method!

How about popping in and out?

Lie with him for 10mins then tell him that you just need to pop for a wee and you'll be back in 2 mins but he must stay in bed.
Make sure you do go back and 10mins later if he's not asleep say that you just need to go and put the washing machine (whatever) on and you'll be back in 5 minutes, go back. Once he's fallen asleep you can leave, obviously, then slowly keep making the amount of time you are having a wee longer and longer before you go back in.

IMO this will help him know that you are not going anywhere, you are still around, you will go back when you say you will, basically just building up his trust so that eventually you can lie with him for 5/10mins say good night and leave him to fall asleep safe in the knowledge that you are still there if he needs you.

Obviously WE know that we'll be there but I think young children do go through these phases quite often of wanting to reaffirm that.

Tried xMinerva's strategy very succesfully with the YoungDonk when he was younger. Still use a variant now he is 9 (!) on the rare occasions he is feeling clingy.

"YD, I'll be up in 10 minutes to check how you are....if you stay in bed quietly"

I make sure I go back.

He's usually asleep before the first 10 minutes are up nowadays. If not, it only takes one or two short visits.

When he was younger, it needed shorter gaps and, and took more visits. But we got there.

It's just a phase....

Brilliant! Thanks so much for all your advice. I will try both techniques. X