DD was 3 last month. In Jan this year she moved room at nursery (snr nursery up to playschool) which unsettled her and a few more of her gang. They've all settled down now but DD has continued to be 'no go school' ever since and this has escalated during the last 2 weeks. She goes 4 days a week, 7.15-16.15 (both DH and I work early starts), to the same nursery she's been in since she started at 7mo, no major changes of staff there. Up till the room change in Jan she pretty much ran in the door of the nursery, couldn't be rid of whichever parent doing drop off fast enough. She's an only child so no new arrivals to piss her off, we haven't moved house, no changes to the routine, I always do pick up (DH doesn't finish work before the creche shuts).
DH and I take turns to do bedtime and was Daddy's turn last night - DD pushed him to the top of the stairs and told him 'go downstairs, mummy do bedtime' and then had a full on tant when Daddy still continued on and did bedtime. It's the last 2 weeks that this has escalated - this morning the crying started in the car and she was hysterical by the time we got to the nursery. She was holding on round my neck so tight I thought she was going to strangle me.
I keep thinking this is a phase and she always seems happy when I pick her up but my concern is that it's been rumbling along for a few months and is now off the scale. The screaming this morning really worried me. I feel terrible when DD reacts like this. I'm also going back to FT work in Sept (no choice 
) so she'll be in for 5 days a week. Any advice/suggestions about what's causing this/how to deal with this gratefully received.