Can't cope with DS.

[intergalacticwalrus]

We have just had to leave a toddler music group half way through as DS(14 months) had 4 major tantrums there, and the last straw
came when he threw a drum at another child. I have just had enough. I can't cope with him. He's so boisterous, and he will not sit still for literally 1 second. I spend all day telling him off, and I hate myself for it. I feel like I am constantly on the edge, especially after I have just really bawled at
him just now. I just don't know what I am doing wrong. None of my friends have the same sorts of problems with their 14/15 month olds, he's just so spiteful sometimes, and if he can't get his own way, he'll hit or pinch me.

I'm 3 months pg, and far from being excited about the new baby, I am dreading it. I am worrying myself sick that I won't be
able to cope, especially if this baby is anything like DS was when he was a newborn (constant crying/never sleeping for more that 10 mins at a time etc) I just can't cope.

We have just had to leave a toddler music group half way through as DS(14 months) had 4 major tantrums there, and the last straw
came when he threw a drum at another child. I have just had enough. I can't cope with him. He's so boisterous, and he will not sit still for literally 1 second. I spend all day telling him off, and I hate myself for it. I feel like I am constantly on the edge, especially after I have just really bawled at
him just now. I just don't know what I am doing wrong. None of my friends have the same sorts of problems with their 14/15 month olds, he's just so spiteful sometimes, and if he can't get his own way, he'll hit or pinch me.

I'm 3 months pg, and far from being excited about the new baby, I am dreading it. I am worrying myself sick that I won't be
able to cope, especially if this baby is anything like DS was when he was a newborn (constant crying/never sleeping for more that 10 mins at a time etc) I just can't cope.

is there any way you could get him into a nursery for a morning or two a week to give you a well needed break
or even a relative/friend etc

I work twice a week, so he goes to a friend two mornings a week. I love spending time with him, but he's just so demanding. I just wish I knew how I could keep him under control, for want of a better expression

maybe the toddler group is just too much stimulation for him. maybe a different activity, one which is less noisy and more calm would be worth a try.

i take my dd's (3yrs and 16mths) to a sing and story hour at our local library, its mainly sitting (or standing!) singing songs and then the librarian reads books and stories.

yes, the children do run around, the librarian doesnt mind, but mysteriously the children all get into the groove if a quiet time and they eventually calm down and sit and listen to the story

maybe you could try something at home? put on some soothing music, sing songs (calm ones)

does he like watching telly? something like finding nemo is quite relaxing, he could sit beside you on the couch and read a book with music or finding nemo in the background

hth and good luck with your pg and new baby x

ps, since you are not due for another 6 mths, i wouldnt worry about that just now. in another 6 mths your ds could be a completely different child, 6 mths is a long time and he will change a lot by then xxx

Hi I just wanted to say that I had a very similar situation with my 1st 2 boys (now have a girl as well) and I spent most of my 2nd pg dreading it as ds1 was nightmare as younger child and a devil newborn....NEVER slept, but my ds2 was a textbook baby...very laid back, so it doesn't always follow. And DS1 now 5 is a pretty well behaved if still demanding and active young lad. Give yourself a break and hang on in there.

hard i know, but ignore his bad behaviour, turn away or put him down if he hurts you, use a firm notloud voice and scrunched up face then use a high squeaky voice and wide eyes and smile when he does a nano second of acceptable behaviour.

Sounds like he wants your attention but not quite up to scratch the way to get it.

I in the past with temporary jobs have played with duplo/cars read baby books and talked to myself and toddler has come to investigate, then i would tickle, kiss and cuddle very frequently until negative behaviour then i would be stern and then turn my back and continue to play alone, again talking and interact with toddler when i was approached, have had good results after only a hour of this play and parents have been happily amazed at how content toddler is and often how well meal and nap times have gone.

Thanks everyone! Didn't mean to post thread twice, my computer was playing up (as well as DS) yesterday. I had a particularly bad day, and needed to sound off! I will try a few of these things today. I might take him to creepy crawlies later (free soft play thingy) where he's usually quite good, as he can do his own thing. I'll see what happens there.