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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Am I the only one whose 2.5 year old plays up at bedtime??

19 replies

Girlsville · 09/07/2012 19:43

Dd1 is almost 2.5 and playing up so badly at bedtime - the worst for me, q bad for dh, less bad for the nanny and perfect for everyone else. She is fine until the moment she is lifted in the cot then starts crying asking to come into our bed.( not sure why as I have never had her in our bed!!) she then calms down then I am in and out of her room for approx an hour as she keeps calling out for something then I go in, settle her then I leave and five mins later she calls out and if I don't go immediately she starts screaming.
Not sure what the best approach is but it's getting beyond a joke and draining for us all.
Everyone else tells me their two year olds go to bed like a dream!!
Am I really the only one??.

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EclecticShock · 09/07/2012 19:46

Mine does this sometimes, if he thinks it will work and someone will go in. I tend to really try no to unless there is a significant issue.

EclecticShock · 09/07/2012 19:47

I think sometimes its attention seeking so make sure lots of attention before bed and then none once they are in their cot, then it's sleep time.

Original poster

Girlsville · 09/07/2012 19:51

Eclectic - so if they are screaming do your just leave them?

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EclecticShock · 09/07/2012 19:58

If I know he's screaming because he just wants me to go back and take him out of his cot, yes. I know his tone, I can tell when he is actually distressed and when he is protesting and that makes him distressed. May sound harsh but if I went in whenever he screamed for me, he would do it constantly. He doesn't do it constantly as a result and so when he does it, I know there's usually a good reason.

EclecticShock · 09/07/2012 20:00

If he's protesting now, he will only do it 30 secs then realise its not going to work. Obviously it depends on the child and if they are unwell or something like that.

MrsBucketxx · 09/07/2012 20:08

mine can be a pain too. i keep him occupied with toys (none noisy ones) and he drops off in no time at all. plus i have been really firm with bed time from day one. if ds cries its usually if he is ill or fell out of bed (which happens occasionally)

ImaCleverClogs · 09/07/2012 22:01

Oh yes! I have just cut his nap as it was a battle twice a day. He's now overtired and gets upset at bedtime but does go off much quicker this way, once I've finally persuaded him the fun is over for the day - tonight it was begging to be swung in the laundry basket, stuff your stories.

I read a good idea on here which I am going to try when he is about that age (only just 2 now). You do all the usual bedtime routine stuff then say goodnight, if you are quiet I will come and give you a kiss in one minute, then repeat at longer and longer intervals.

modifiedmum · 09/07/2012 22:04

Archie is 3 in september so not far off but he is a nightmare to so your not alone, he tries everything when i say bed after ive reda his book suddenly he needs a wee, another cuddle, he is thirsty, wants another book arrghh!! i've learned to recognise the "i just wanna get out of bed" cry now so after a book, a kiss on the head, i leave and let him cry it out to be honest unless his been ill during the day etc x

Original poster

Girlsville · 10/07/2012 21:46

Thanks all. I think I also need to be tougher and once I know she is just messing around leave her to it. Last night I went in a hundred times and then explained to her it was enough and I wasn t coming back as it was time to sleep. She screamed for five mins then chatted to her bunny for ten mins and went to sleep. Tonight of course she went down without a peep for the nanny while I was at work! It's only me she plays up for.
So reassuring that I am nt alone as it is an exhausting end to the day!

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girlsofsummer · 10/07/2012 21:57

Yes! DC2 has just started doing this quite badly - I wonder if its because its "transition" stage for the day time nap ie, they need it but don't really need it iykwim.

Diff is that I do take DC into my bed - quite a lot! I think its a phase. Can climb out of cot now easily so will move to real bed soon I think.

FelicityElectricity · 10/07/2012 22:02

We had the same thing with ds. He used to call for us and cry etc What worked for us was putting on a cd of bedtime stories (after we'd read to him). I think it made him feel less lonely upstairs when we were downstairs.

Original poster

Girlsville · 10/07/2012 22:15

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stressheaderic · 10/07/2012 22:19

Sounds daft but when my DD hit this stage at around 2.3, we took the bars off and made her cot into a bed, bought new bedding and a pretty cushion and made a big deal of 'going in your big girl's bed'. she loved it and we haven't looked back since. She has never got out of bed in the evening, only in the morning ( and I love hearing her footsteps on the landing running to our room at 6oclock 8oclock.

girlsofsummer · 10/07/2012 22:46

BLess her little heart, DD2 has made a really big effort to be good tonight and has been really quiet and not climbed out of her cot. She just woke up for the toilet and went back in her cot.

I did tell her I would buy her a sweetie if she was good tonight

gosh I love her. Honestly 2 year olds are just such monkeys but so very adorable.

girlsofsummer · 10/07/2012 22:47

ps: I dont like leaving kids crying in bed at any age. At least not for extended period - just too soft in that way.

lolalotta · 11/07/2012 06:39

Does she still nap in the day? My 2.5 dd started doing this when she wasn't tired enough at bedtime, we cut her lunchtime nap to 40 mins and the problem is solved....for now! Or it could be she is overtired if she has dropped the nap entirely, perhaps you could try quiet time at lunchtime in her cot with books and a few toys and then she can have a nap if she needs it? We also let our dd look at book for a few minutes on her own for a few minutes before lights out which has helped take the battle out of bedtime. Good luck!

SkiBumMum · 11/07/2012 06:43

2.5 was a bad time for this. If they can climb out and are using the loo at night they need a bed as it's dangerous and not really fair to be in a cot. The big girl psychology helped us.

Original poster

Girlsville · 11/07/2012 15:48

SkiBumMum - she never attempts to climb out (inf act neevr even stands up) so tehre is no safety issue but I agree its an age thing.
she does still nap in teh day and seemingly cant cope without it, but not particvualry tired tehn at bedtime. She is literally an angel for allexcpet em and DH where she is a big big moneky (to put it kindly). Just nto sure what is the right aproach.

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Original poster

Girlsville · 11/07/2012 15:49

Shoudl add have staretd giving her book in cot but she then drops it "accidentally" on floor and calls out and asks for anotehr and anotehr and tehn screams when i say enougH!

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