Help, can't put premature baby down without him crying.

[lotstar]

My son was born 8 weeks prem and is now coming up to his due date. I am holding him all the time, as soon as I put him down he cries, even if he is fast asleep at the time. I expected this to start with but am now concerned that I'm never going to be able to put him down! My house is a mess! He cries in his Moses basket, car seat, pram, bouncy chair and if held by anyone else. I don't know what to do! Very, very tired...

Just wanted to say you are doing a really really good job but you need rest obviously - have you thought about a hammock cot like this? Www.moffii.com/miyo_baby_hammock.html

Just to add the hammock is great because they feel all curled up snug like they do in your arms/on the womb and every time they move it starts off a gentle rocking motion to put them back to sleep - really wish I'd got one fir my ds's

How about a sling? Something soft and snug.

This is a phase that will end. Can someone else come and do your house work or even just hold him for you???

Ooof, poor you. My DS was also eight weeks early and we 'joked' that his mantra was 'don't put me down'. I second a sling, it saved me from insanity. the Moby one is good as they feel very snug.

You could try a moses basket wedge www.amazon.co.uk/Basket-Wedge-reflux-congestion-28cm/dp/B002QRRUBW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1341833259&sr=8-1 (sorry, not sure how to do links in text) as it could be a reflux reaction. A high number of prem babies suffer from acid reflux and if that's causing the crying this will help.

My DS also hated being held by anyone else, apart from DH.

Don't worry about housework, this time will pass and it all gets MUCH easier but when you are in the midst of it it is very tough. Does he cry in the pram when you are walking?

As they get a little bit older they do get better in bouncy chairs and also I put a playmat in a travel cot and could sometimes get 10 mins free then.

It's so hard in the first few months but just do whatever you need to to get some rest. I used to sit on the sofa and just let DS sleep while I watched telly. It was mindnumbing, the house was a tip but it wasn't for long. It gets prgressively easier. And I walked, everywhere.

Have you got other mum friends? It's easy to sit in a cafe with the baby in your arms, having tea and cakes. Doesn't do much for the housework but it will do you the world of good. I found being out much easier as I could hold him but I was at least entertained.

Hope some of that helps!

Hey there, don't worry this won't go on for ever - it is very difficult in the beginning. DS was 7 weeks early so I know what it feels like to have this additional challenge. But him wanting to be held by mummy is quite normal and not necessarily related to him being early. He's been inside you for 9 months and feels comforted being near you as much as possible, he even knows the sound of your heartbeat.

Please don't worry about the house being in a mess!! This is ok and expected! Definitely recommend investing in a good quality sling that is kind to your back. Letting him lie on a playgym worked to some extent since it has things to look at and be distracted by. Some babies love bouncy chairs, even with vibrating actions or music. Some months down the line, a doorway bouncer worked really well for us (but doesn't for all babies).

Is he eating ok? If he was very small they need to be fed even more frequently due to small tummies. Felt like DS fed constantly at the beginning (and if you're breastfeeding this is also comforting for them).

Hang in there, it may not feel like it, but this phase will pass...

Hi first congrats on your baby. My DS was 10 weeks early so i know that the newborn stage is soooo long when you have a prem. Has he got any reflux issues? If not and it is simply a need for wanting to be close then how about a wrap the moby is very good for small babies and can be bought from Amazon. Wearing that means you can least have hands free to get on with tasks / loo!

Thanks for responses! A miracle has occurred, not 30 min after posting this I attempted to put him in his bouncy chair... He is now happily sitting there looking around with a look of wonder on his little face, Been there for 10 min now. Not getting any housework done though as I'm sat in front of him cooing away! He's usually either crying or sleeping so this is quite a novelty. Now just need him to sleep away from me...

Great news. I found the bouncy chair useful for showers too. Turn the light on as they like looking at light and the bouncy chair provides a good vantage point! Also, I used to use it in the kitchen, I would sing away to him while doing some washing up, making tea etc. As long as I was around and talking/singing he was ok in it.

I also meant to say, I used to have the moses basket right next to my bed and put my hand down to rest on DS to get him to sleep. It seemed to work and meant that when he went off I could just take my hand away slowly. Might be worth a try.

Lots of luck.

Spoke too soon...

DD was 13 weeks early and she was a screamer too. It took a while to get through that stage, but it did pass and now she's a cute 3 year old!

Just try really short sessions in the bouncy chair, it might just take some getting used to.

Also, your comment about either crying or sleeping struck a cord with me. I used to think that too and it is a very tough stage, you don't get anything back at this point. In time you will get smiles and periods where they are awake and not crying.

I now have a smiling, funny, adorable 16m little tyke, who is a joy. He is still a diva when he doesn't get his own way but we are worlds away from where we were. You will get there too.

We had the same problem with DS (5 weeks early). He did have reflux, so the reflux meds (ranitidine) helped him to sleep better - but we still held him in our arms for three months straight.
Everyone suggested slings but he hated them (or would vomit, or was too small for most of them).
do you have a mobile? The one thing that saved our sanity was a "tiny love" mobile. we bought it on suggestion of a friend, and it was a miracle - sometimes he'd lie down for 20 minutes or more, watching it and chatting to it, even if i'd left the room. i don't know if the brand matters, but it's best to have one that has batteries rather than the wind-up ones that last for two minutes!

lotstar my DS was also 8 weeks early and goes through phases of refusing to be put down.

I have a boba stretchy wrap (like a moby but even softer I think) which I good for preemies. He hates it when I first put him in it, but after a bit of bouncing he settles and nods off. He also hated the bouncy chair to start with, but is now quite happy in it sometimes too.

Have you tried sound/white noise? I assume your baby spent some time on SCBU and I think they can become accustomed to the hustle and bustle, and get a bit unnerved by silence.

Lots of babies are clingy, whether term or early, but they will grow out of it so people tell me!

Oh good news. Even though we had this experience too with a premmie, I don't think it is necessarily a premmie thing - just different for every baby. Premmies do take longer to get through the early stages though which is frustraiting! As someone else posted, for a while it feels like everytime they are awake they are crying! And also reflux can be a cause of fussiness which is more prevalent in premmies (certainly was in our case too).