Help please. Ds1 coming out with things re:race.

[hermionestranger]

Help please.

Ds1, 6, asked why some ladies wear face masks. He was referring to Muslim women and he said that he was very scared and he hated them all!

Help! I have tried to explain about Islam and why some ladies chose to cover themselves buy think I've made a right hash of it. Well obviously I have because of his "hate them all" comment.

Someone please tell me in language he can understand what to say.

What have you said to him so far?

Tell him it is like when people wear hats. Some ladies cover their face and hair when they go outside in the same way as some people wear a hat on their head. You can get into the reasons why when he is older. Tell him there is nothing to be afraid of because they are just wearing clothes the same as you and me, its just they wear them differently because they want to look nice. Good luck! x

Little kids often say 'I hate...' and don't really mean it.

I find it's usually the old ladies who wear them, so you can just tell him that it's just what some old ladies wear in some countries. I'm assuming it's more to stop your face getting burned in hotter climes, so pretty practical really.

I am sure you will come across a masked lady in the park who will try to pinch his cheeks and coo over the cute little boy (happens to us a lot - more with Japanese tourists though for some reason)! Maybe try to make eye contact and smile if you happen to be queuing next to someone in a mask and start a conversation (don't assume they don't speak English - I jumped up in a shop as a child dangled off the back of a pram which I thought was about to topple over. The heavily veiled mum told me in a thick London accent that 'oh thanks - but she's always doing that!') hopefully that will help him to see that they are people and not scary, or have something nasty under the mask (so not hiding a scar or burn or whatever).

We live in an area with a large Muslim population so he's grown up with seeing ladies with covered faces and people in different styles of dress from us. We're in Manchester so it's not as if we are sheltered from multicultural Britain! Its the norm here, which I have always tried to show as a good thing and explain that we're all different in ways but we're all humans so all the same at the same time!

I have said that in their religion they are asked to dress
Modestly (cover up a bit) and some chose to cover their faces. I dress quite modestly so I tried to equate it to what mummy wears for e.g. I tend to wear leggings with tunics so I said that it's just another way of dressing.

Thanks all, we'll see how we go. Kids, eh?

Kids indeed! I don't like faces coved either. I think that is a bit cultural here though, isn't it - we worry that people have something to hide! In some places wearing sunglasses when speaking to someone is very very bad. Or pointing with your finger (any one of them!), or wearing shoes inside, vlowing your nose, showing the soles of your feet.... It goes on and one!

The are some good books about cultural diversity. I think one is called 'children Like Me', not sure if it has masked women in it, but it does show children and their families form around the world.

DD had a lovely book called Something Else. The creatures in it were not recognisable and it was pure fantasy. However the message was very strong. It was wonderful. I'll see if I can find it on Amazon.

That didn't take long! Here.

I love books...
www.amazon.co.uk/Children-Just-Like-Me-Celebration/dp/0751353272/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1341821488&sr=1-1

Brilliant, thank you! I'm worried in case he says this at school! They take "racism" very seriously here. I have enough friends in the local education system to know that even the most well meant/inquisitive comment is recorded.

Such as one little girl who asked her mixed race classmate why her mummy was a different colour. They were 5! Parents called in and all blown way out of proportion. DS did once ask a lady on the bus why she was chocolate coloured, luckily she was lovely and explained why she was a different colour. The daft thing is our old neighbours were black Zimbabweans and their DS and mine had played together quite happily day after day!