taking over an hour to get them both to bed.

[makeminemango]

I have a 4 year old DS and a two year old DD. They share a room. In the last week, they have really begun to play up at bed time and it takes my husband and I about an hour to get them settled and asleep. We have a routine,plenty of warning, and black out blinds. The other part of the story is that I have asked my husband for a divorce which he is just not getting or talking about and so I am stressed out of my head. I end out screaming and yelling, trying every bribe under the sun and unless one of us goes to sleep with them, they don't sleep. Yep, I know I'm under a huge amount of stress that does not help but any advice is welcome. I really beating myself up for being a rubbish mum and each night promise myself to try better the next night but its not helping

It sounds as though you are having a really difficult time. I have two children of similar ages. I think they do respond to our emotions. It makes them insecure when they know something is happening around them, but they don't understand it. You did mention, that you have changed how you deal with their bed routine. That the problem of them playing up was recent. Do you feel you can stick to the firm rules you had before? Perhaps put time aside to make sure they feel calm before sleep, ie favourite book and cuddle? Maybe you did this before, however have felt a little tired to do it recently.
I don't want to preach, just offer some kind words. This too shall pass ... please don't feel a bad Mummy. You have their hearts in mind. Wonder Woman was fiction, we arn't super heros, just Mummys, trying to do our best in every changing situations. I hope all goes better tomorrow.

I have a similar problem too. FWIW it was fine when they were small and we had a strict routine, but now they are 5 & 3 they have their own minds and can tear off in whatever direction they fancy. I'm a LP and need another pair of hands!

I'm assuming it will get better in a years time when DD starts school, until then I can't see her being shattered enough to wind down without a battle. Mum has been trying to wear her out which does help but she can only do it at weekends. Even a day at nursery doesn't wear her out these days.

Mine are the same ages as yours and I was getting into a right old nightmare with bedtime.

I read around some old threads on here and made some "rules" for myself.

No shouting (from me). It just feeds the attention and makes everything worse. I got to the point where I was shaking and incandescent with rage. Not a good route to a peaceful bedtime!

I made a game of almost everything...

...Who can put their PJ's on first?
...Who can find the toy monkey whilst I run the bath?

You get the gist. Very supernanny but made the whole thing more positive.

Then just lots of rapid return. 4yo gets up and asks stupid questions I repeat robotic like "We'll talk about this in the morning; night-night"

It's very wearing and made me dread bedtime, but now it's calmer and doesn't drag on for hours.

Good luck.