friendships for DS 6

[mrskenyon]

DS yr1 is having such problems making friends, he has had afew but they all seem to blow hot and cold on him, one minute being kind, playing, coming for tea, the next, telling him to go away, not returning the invites, being mean.

My DS is such a nice boy (I think!), I just wish he could find one consistent friend in his class. Why is that so hard? Why aren't the children kinder to each other? and it is a really nice school!

He does other activities etc, and is generally okayish, abi downbeat, could be happier. How can I help him with friendships?

Have you tried Beavers? Scouts are good for friendships.

Thankyou for the suggestion exotic fruits. He does go to something similar, yes. but iam trying to help him at school playtimes really. School seems to be where he needs some strategies or support to make friendships.

it's never easy.... and sometimes there's luck involved.....

give it time... quite a lot of children don't manage to make friends in the first couple of years.

make home a sanctuary where he knows he doesn't have to worry about this issue

and above all, think of it in terms of the skills he is still developing, rather than the the behaviour of the other children. There is a great book called "The Unwritten Rules of friendship" aimed at a slightly older age-group but useful for our age too. This thinking in terms of his own skills will also go down really well with the teachers - that's what they can help you work on.

Thankyou lingle for your soothing words.

Yes we try to shower him with love and support at home. I like to try and create a sanctuary at home, where he is loved safe and respected.

I admit my heartbreaks for him, he is a lovely lad and I cant understand why there is an issue. soon a new class, a new teacher, and maybe things can change.

Ive just posted a thread about friendship but for a 3 nearly 4 year old. Have you talked to the teachers? They should encourage the children to all be nice. This might be easier said than done but if I was you id get the school to help make sure at least the blowing cold side of things stops. I know they can't create friendships for your DS but they have to keep an eye out for negative confidence damaging behaviours.

yes,I will speak with teacher, but maybe leave now til September as only a couple of weeks left of term. Its something I thought of doing a while back but wanted to try and fix it myself. I will speak with new teacher in autumn. feel abit awkard about doing that.

Gosh dont feel awkward about that! I was straight in there when I got wind of this 'you're not my friend' stuff going on at my DS pre school, and I've mentioned it a few times since. If they don't know about it they may be able to bring it to a swift halt.

Do you get on well with any of the other parents? You could suggest picnics out at the park in the summer holiday or looking after their child and then she has yours.
If not, see September as a fresh start and see the teacher early.