Terrible Twos are Unbearable....!

[Benswifetobe]

Hi all, my darling daughter who is almost 3 now, is embarking on her terrible twos (if there is such a thing), she screams at almost anything i try to do (get her dressed, give her a meal, get her in/out of the car etc) unless its a hug or a cuddle. If she and I are on our own she is fine, but if there is any other person there at all, she screams for my attention. Her brother, my partner, it doesnt matter who it is. i ignore her if i know she is ok, ie she isnt hurt, or crying for a genuine reason, and let her get on with it. But sometimes the screaming and the temper is too much to ignore. She gets herself into such a state sometimes. I want to find a way of communicating with her whilst she is mid-paddy that will be effective in helping her calm down. All that seems to work is to give in and give her a cuddle, but i cant let her get into the habit of that, otherwise, she is winning everytime! HEEEELP!!! xxxx

Hi there, awww, it's hard this age isn't it. I have twin girls also 3 years old and they are going through a similar stage.
I try to give my girls a cuddle before they get themselves into such a state. I think they get frustrated, they want to be big people but can't quite manage it. I think its ok to give her a cuddle, as she will calm down and hopefully grow out of it in the future.
I give my girls two choices on clothes, as they are so independant and want to choose themselves (wearing a bikini in winter isn't a good look!) It has helped, and they dress themselves.( or as much as they can)
I also try to explain why they can't have my attention all the time, Ie) 1 mum to twins, and then we all sit and have a quiet read of a book together, to try and calm them down before it reaches the point of no return.
It isn't always possible though ,especially if you are out in public.
If in public i say.......when we get home we can watch a bit of your faveroite programme, just try and not get upset...and giv

e her a cuddle.

Another thing i do is give them choice... they can choose what they want to eat ( I say either ........... or ............. what would you like ? most of the time they choose different foods, so MORE WORK FOR MUM!

Its worth a try, good luck with all that.
Give yourself a pat on the back though, as parenting is quite hard yakka, and im sure it is a phase she will grow out of with age.

When it gets really bad, ignore her and put the kettle on for a cupa.

Jassy bb x

Thanks Jassy, i appreciate your advice. SOmetimes, it is so frustrating because it isnt that she does or doesnt want to do something, its more like she doesnt want to do what i have asked. So its not like 'i dont want spaghetti for tea' but more of 'i am not eating that', then when i take it away from her, she screams to have it back. Its like she is constantly arguing black is white ALL DAY LONG! She is ok a lot of the time, i have to admit and i cant imagine what it is like with twins! You need a medal! I think i just have to grin and bear it and wait for it to get a little easier. If only we could video them doing it and keep it for when they are older! xxx

hey ,now that's an idea... we can play it on their 18th birthday!!
Yes, it is really hard isn't it. Ruby decided to throw her dinner at me the other day, blimey. she's got a terrible temper. I just ignored her and cleaned it up. then put the kettle on..
Good luck.

Thank you x i guess theyll thank us one day.........!

I would re-iterate the choice thing. DD is nearly 28 months and we can never tell which days will go smoothly and which days will see us career from one hissy, arm-flailing, sobbing fit to another. But giving her some choice seems to help and divert the worst. I try and split everything down into a choice of two so that she has some, but not complete, control: Do you want to wear this outfit or that outfit? Do you want to eat lunch now or later? Do you want to sit in this chair or that chair? Do you want to take Teddy or a book in the car? (NB. no choice about getting in the car, but some choice about what she has to entertain her while in there). It's not foolproof, but it helps.

MEANDACAT, thank you x i will try this as soon as i collect her and her brother from the childminders later.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

You need to read the cutted up pear thread; it offers no tips (anything is futile in the face of toddler logic), but will definitely help to raise a wry smile the next time she does it and you'll know you're not alone.

I will try and find it.

Here you go