Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

How to get 4 wk old to sleep in crib - please help me!

30 replies

Birdiegirl · 03/07/2012 15:55

My 4 week EBF dd will only sleep on me or in her car seat. If she falls asleep after a feed and I put her in the crib she wakes up crying. I've been trying the Baby Whisperers 'EASY method' but with no great success. If I put her in the crib while awake but sleepy she immediately becomes alert and cries and no amount of shushing and patting or pick up / put down seems to work, if anything it seems to annoy her even more! Ive tried leaving her to cry for a few minutes to cry (which kills me every time) and sometimes she settles but mostly not!

Anyone got a magic solution please? seriously any advice greatly received, except co-sleeping as we had been doing that (accidentally) and we're trying to move away from that if possible.
Also how much sleep does a baby this age need

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

LondonGirly · 03/07/2012 16:28

Lots of sleep at that age is the short answer!

Could you try putting something that smells of you, for example a top, so that there is something familiar there for her?

Have you got a bouncy chair? How does she do in there? Just wondering if propping up the crib might help her sleep.

Are you swaddling her when you put her in the crib? That might help.

It does get better, and you aren't too far off the magical first smile, which makes everything seem better.

Good luck

ZuleikaD · 03/07/2012 16:32

How does it work if you feed her to sleep? (ignore the baby whisperer's thing of putting them down hungry - IME a feed when they wake up and then another to put them down with works very well indeed.)

KatoPotato · 03/07/2012 16:36

We used to have a little sheet folded into a triangle under DS while he fed and inevitably dropped off. Once we thought he was sufficiently 'sparko' we would wrap and swaddle while in arms slowly and keep him tightly bundled while we transferred him slowly into his moses basket. All the while looking like Indiana Jones trying not to trip a pressure plate :)

Incidentally this never caused any later problems with self settling which we starte doing around 4 months or so. sleep is sleep and sleep is good so dont worry about creating future problems or habits at this stage :)

KatoPotato · 03/07/2012 16:38

I'm just thinking back to what i must have looked like with him pressed into my chest upright and i'd bend at the waist in a comedy fashion to lower him into the crib!

LondonGirly · 03/07/2012 16:44

Kato and then there is the sense of relief when you manage it and slowly creep away from the cot!

The things you end up doing to get them to sleep!

KatoPotato · 03/07/2012 16:56

Yes LondonGirly, for some reason sleepy newborns turn you into a pantomime creep! - Did my knees need to be quite so high on the step backwards? No.

Original poster

Birdiegirl · 03/07/2012 19:34

Hi thanks for the replies. I feel I've tried everything - swaddling, blackout blinds, feeding to sleep then putting her in cot (and doing panto creep away. Last night I resorted to driving around for 2 hours, she fell asleep in car seat and (bad mother that I am) I let her sleep all night in it - she slept from midnight until 5am)

My mother is of the school of thought of putting her in the cot and leaving her to cry but it just seems too cruel when she's still so small.

Should I persevere with what I'm doing or do I go back to co-sleeping and then start again when she's a bit bigger?

OP posts:

Iggly · 03/07/2012 19:39

Go back to cosleeping and ignore your mother.

People forget just how needy newborns are. Not a surprise - they've only been in the world a few weeks and are incredibly incredibly dependant. No need to kill yourself getting them into a cot/crib when they sleep better with you.

Just keep trying every couple of weeks or so and she'll get there.

With DS (my first) I nearly died from sleep deprivation trying to get him to do whatever the books said. With DD I have relaxed a bit and she coslept with me for the first 3-4 months. She's now 7 months and snoozing away in her cot while I make dinner. She's very easy to put down - whereas a newborn she was not.

Enjoy the cuddles.

DawnOfTheDee · 03/07/2012 19:44

Something that smells of you is good. As is putting a hot water bottle in prior to putting her in so it's nice and warm (sometimes cold mattress wakes them up i think).

I've also heard you can get toys to put in that have a 'tick' that mimics mums heartbeat. Haven't tried these myself though so not sure how good they are.

Otherwise just keep trying....it will happen!

laura4jasmine · 03/07/2012 21:33

This is so hard, I know how you feel. My dc all had reflux and laying them flat made them wake up or hard to settle. Since your lo slept so long in the car seat, maybe they need to be propped up. You could try putting something under one end of the cot. It worked for me. I hope you find what works for you really soon

Needalifeagain · 03/07/2012 21:38

White noise worked for us instantly. Try static on radio or an iPhone app that mimics womb noise etc. Plenty toys that do same if any success.
Shame it does not work anymore now dd is a toddler!

gloucestergirl · 03/07/2012 22:01

DD is 4 months and has now - from last night yay!!! - starting sleeping by herself in her cot. It took baby steps (forgive the pun).

She co-slept with us for the first 6 weeks, falling asleep on us
then she could sleep in her cot after feeding at night (apart from after the last feed of the night)
then she starting falling asleep by herself with us in bed for the last bit of the night's sleep
then we got a daytime nap routine established
now finally after 4 months she will fall asleep by herself in the cot (needed 2 nights of PU/PD)

We have been trying to build up her independence so she is happy away from us. I don't want to sound smug, but am so over the moon that she finally falls asleep by herself. But it has taken 4 months (and I actually do miss her falling asleep on me).

Wish I had tried swaddling and think white noise might have helped. But patience is the best thing - and a dummy!

PreciousPuddleduck · 03/07/2012 22:17

Swaddling, shushing in ear whilst slowly patting back to mimic heartbeat works for me. Could rock back and forth at the same if needed. My dd is 7w and that works for me. I try to put her down awake. It has got easier in last couple of weeks. Sleepy baby & white noise baby are great apps too. Good luck x

ButtonBoo · 03/07/2012 22:32

Agree with LondonGirly...

Lots of sleep and try swaddling. It worked a treat for us. Young babies still need to feel the closeness and conducted of being in utero. Swaddling replicates that.

ButtonBoo · 03/07/2012 22:33

Conducted?? Comforted!!

ThisIsMummyPig · 03/07/2012 22:57

When you say a crib, is it one of the swinging ones. My first child slept fine in one, but then when I had the second she never slept more than 10 minutes in it, but she was great in a moses basket or my bed. There was just something about that swinging crib she didn't like.

If you ask round you may be able to borrow a moses basket for a few weeks (I borrowed both times, and just bought new mattresses

Livened · 03/07/2012 23:00

Just to give you some hope, my ds was exactly like this - would only sleep on my chest and would wake as soon as put down. It finally got better at about 8 weeks when we decided to go onto formula as he was still waking every 2hours starving, then taking so long to settle we were both miserable and sleep deprived!!

In the end we tried him in his cot instead of the Moses basket and he started sleeping better as he had more space. He went into his own room at about 9 weeks and his sleep has improved no end since then.

Since about week 9 he has slept 12 hours per night without a single night waking (he just turned 23 weeks). I think I'm very lucky to have a baby who enjoys sleep, plus at about 9 weeks I started the EASY routine and immediately his daytime naps improved, and soon after followed good night time sleep. Im amazed as he also has two teeth now and he has coped so well with the discomfort too.

He is now the most happy and contented 5 month old, and has two very lucky and happy parents ;)

4 weeks is still very young, so please believe it will get better and enjoy your early weeks with your baby x

Gabeesh · 04/07/2012 23:58

Been there!

What worked for us was warming the crib with a hot water bottle first, swaddling with arms free and holding both hands while shushing. Didn't work for first few nights but then, thankfully, it did!

Charliewasagoodhamster · 05/07/2012 08:40

My daughter slept in the crib at night from day 1. She was fine with that untill she realised what was going on, seem to remember that being about 4 weeks.

We had some struggles over a month or so on and off. Things that helped were a hot water bottle on her sheet to warm it up. A sea horse battery operated thing by fisher price that lights up and plays llaby tunes and bubble sounds. She would look at the light and nod off. Also putting in a night routine with bath, calm talk or story or nust something to hear quiet words and having her in a sleepingbag ready to just pop in to crib after feeding to sleep. My baby hated being swaddled and was much happier in a sleeping bag to stretch out. We also had classic fm on quietly sometimes. Different things seemed to work at different times.

loopydoo · 05/07/2012 09:52

Pre-warm crib.

Place your hand on her tummy until she's in a deep sleep (no eyelid movement) - can take a while!!

Raise end of cot so she's slightly raised.

But to be honest, at only 4 weeks old, and being EBF, she will be waking every couple of hours for feeds/snuggles. Their pattern of sleeping/waking at 4 weeks isn't mature as it is for say a 3 month old and they need lots of skin to skin time and being with their mummy.

This time of no sleep will not last forever and in just a few weeks time, everything will have changed again.

People in the western world, seem to think that babies should sleep through the night when in fact, this is most unnatural.

Formula on;y helps babies sleep longer as it's so hard to digest and often creates more porblems with sore tummies/wind etc than it solves.

She may like being in a sling during the day so at least you feel as though you can do a few bits aorund the house but again, at 4 weeks, just relax and chill and try not to worry about doing too much. Enjoy this time because it flies!!!

loopydoo · 05/07/2012 09:54

you could also record your voice onto a CD telling some very monotone stories - then play as she's lying in her cot awake - she needs to eventually learn to send herself to sleep, rather than waiting to be asleep before you put her in .

FarrowAndBollock · 05/07/2012 09:58

I just wanted to say to hang on in there - they do suddenly improve with their sleeping, but at that age, I truly thought my children would never ever sleep.

I found cranial osteopathy helped calm my children too - after birth they can be a bit squished up!

loopydoo · 05/07/2012 11:59

I second cranial osteopathy too - my ds had a ventouse birth and couldn't lie flat on his back so preferred sleeping on my chest or in the rocker chair but after only 2 sessions of CO, he could lie flat on his back.

Birth can create tension and cause ligaments to stay tight so CO allows them to relax and form correctly.

cloudhands · 05/07/2012 14:45

co-sleeping can be done safely, I think if you are resorting to letting your daughter sleep in her car seat at night, which is really dangerous, then you really need to reconsider what you think about cosleeping

loopydoo · 06/07/2012 00:00

cloudhands can you link me some evidence that says why sleeping in the car seat is 'really dangerous'? I am keen to read more on it because from a sleeping in a curved position point of view, surely it's no different than spending all day sleeping against mummy's chest in a sling?

Flip

1 2