Naughty step for a 19 month old?

[matana]

DS is going through a biting phase at the moment - two children his age have gone home with bite marks/ a bruise in the past week. In the past i have noticed that his biting tends to co-incide with teething and i have noticed that he has two teeth (canines) coming through. I'm not making excuses and clearly he needs to know that biting other people is not acceptable behaviour. We usually say very firmly "No, you don't bite people, biting hurts" and make a fuss of the person he has bitten. We have also begun asking him to 'kiss' the other person to say sorry (he can't say sorry yet). However, our childminder used the naughty step yesterday, which i am slightly uncomfortable with for such a young toddler as i'm not convinced he understands or that it really achieves anything. She sat him there for one and a half minutes (which i know is standard for this type of punishment - a minute for every year). At first he got back up, but then he stayed there apparently when she sat with him. In the evening he was a lot more unsettled than usual, like he wanted reassurance from me. He wouldn't leave me alone and wanted constant attention. He just wasn't himself, very whiney and fussy. I don't want to be soft on him, but wondered what others thought about the naughty step for a young toddler. Does it work? Is it an effective punishment at that age?

I can't imagine that it would work - I know that my 22 month old has absolutely no concept of consequences (we'll, beyond immediate ones like saying hungry and getting snack) - if I tried to get him to sit on a step he just wouldn't understand what I was trying to do, let alone know that it was connected to something he just did.

When DS gets over-excited or upset and slaps at my face I hold his arms, look him in the eye, and say no. If he carries on I put him down and let him tantrum on the floor (until he comes for a cuddle) but until he can understand what's going on I just don't think punishment has a place.

Why not just have a time out or reflection rug/ mat / cushion? Focusing less on punishment and more on reflection and resoloution is bound to be more effective in the long run.

in jo frosts 'supernanny' book section re naughty step she recommends it from 2 and half approximately, i.e., the age when they can understand why alot more than under 2... mine is 2 and 8 months and the naughty step works well for/with him but I wouldnt have got any success with it at 19m. sorry! they have to be able to say and understand 'sorry'. you just have to keep intervening and saying a firm 'no' at this age IME. best wishes :)

Typing with one hand. In our house: very loud no with eye contact, immediately put away from injured party and myself, lots of fuss for the bitten one. DS hasn't bitten for ages now.

Sounds a bit young to me. DD is 17 months and can't imagine her being ready for a naughty step in 2 months time. A reflection rug seems equally (possibly more) advanced. On the few occasions DD has bitten I did as LaTrucha.

Matana, I always seem to post on your threads about the CM :o

DS is 16 months and i know a lot will change in the next 3 months, but I can't imagine him even beginning to understand the naughty step! However, he does understand No (although most times ignores it).

I would be unconfortable about this too.Our CM doesn't use the naughty step, she said many children when a bit older can be fussed over by the other children when they come off the step and back into the room - so they are likely to do it again for attention. She is sending them in a corner of the room, facing all the other children, and tells them sternly that their behaviour is not ok and they should calm down ( I don't think there is a time limit). Then they can resume playing. She says it works much better.

I think at 19 months just withdrawing attention for a bit and saying a firm NO should work eventually. Maybe always offer him a teething ring when he starts to bite, and say "no biting mummy, but here, you can bite this".

I would have a chat with the CM, and tell her the step didn't seem to work and made your DS unsettled, and see if you both agree on an alternative approach.

Print this out and give it to your CM.

ds is 2.0 and would not understand this. I'm not an expert on the naughty step but surely sitting with them is not really the point?

You are paying the cm for a service so if you don't feel comfortable with what she is doing, speak to her.

It is hard but with hitting or biting at this age I think you need to watch them like a hawk and re-direct them to something else when you see it approaching, if possible. And I agree with the others - repeat, we don't bite people and fuss over the injured when it does happen.

And 'sorry' really isn't the point imho. I don't want ds thinking he can do whatever he wants and then just say sorry afterwards! Another child hurt ds (when both 18 mo) and the parent made a big fuss of forcing her to say sorry and she was shrieking NOOOO! - it was embarrassing and pointless tbh.

ImaCleverClogs

If you use time-out in a positive rather than punitive way, sitting with them is actually recommended if they are toddler/pre-school age.

Fair enough, like I said I don't know much about it.