Tips please!

[blondie72]

I have a 3.5 year old (DD) and a 9 month old. A few things we are struggling with:

1. How do I stop my daughter heavy handling my 9 month old? I have tried everything and now try to leave him in a play pen all day but he is getting bored and screams the house down.

1. Running away. Sometimes she does this because she's distracted, other times it's a game, watching me run after her.

1. Not listening. I'm sure most mothers have had this but just wondering if there is a way round it. There doesn't seem any point telling her off if it's just not going in!

Thanks in advance!

Hi, just to jump in quickly; my 2 are the same sexes and gap as yours, but they're 6 months older now. It won't be long at least before your little boy will be robust enough to take more and more slightly rough handling. If you can't prevent it, at least day by day it will be less likely to physically hurt him.
on point 3, i have had loads of success with the book How to talk so your kids will listen and listen so kids will talk'. there is a summary of the chapters online, if you google the book title along with 'summary pdf'

Blondie what do you do during the day? Are there any activities on locally that they could both enjoy like Playgroups? It might save the little one from the playpen and you from the screaming .

As for the running away, just stick her on reins, she'll soon get the message.

Not listening, try to keep calm (know how hard that can be!) and get down on her level and make eye contact, but let me know if you find a magic solution! . Will have a look at that book though too caroline.

There is a point in telling her off. If she is doing something that you don't want her to do she needs to learn, afterall, she'll be an adult one day and has to learn the rules needed to help her fulfill and happy and sucessful life . Pick which things are important to you and then warn her if she misbaves that next time she will be in time out. If you are struggling with discipline have a look at the books by Dr Tanya Byron. They're all good and she is a mother too, unlike lots of other "childcare experts*.

Can't help with point one. But with point two i've had exactly same problem with my 3.4 son. A few weeks ago he ran off in asda straight into the path of a trolly, which hit him. He ended up in a shelf of muffins with a few bruises. Now he's on reigns lest that happens on a road! It's a really dangerous habit! So get those reigns out.

As for ignoring you again we have the same issue. So far we are making progress with advice from a book called Calmer Easier Happier Parenting by Noel Janis-Norton.

Think I might have a look at that book too Dyls, sounds like just what I need .

1. Don't leave them alone together and take him with you everywhere

as far as possible. Demonstrate extreme gentleness. Let her hold baby with you holding too and praise a load of things

1. Ask her to repeat what you said and ask if she understands. Or question her 'are you going to run away? What will happen if you run away?' Etc

Just some ideas. I'm also exasperated by a 3 yr old at the moment. Deep breathing and composing myself before I react helps too.