She's giving me a breakdown

[wibblywobbler]

10 year old daughter.
At my wits end.
Tantrums,
flounces,
lies,
sneers,
snarls,
bursting into tears,
overblown sense of entitlement,
thinks I am answerable to her,
doesn't listen then gets frustrated leading to another flounce and tantrum,
constant anger.

Managed to break a door today, slammed a few more. Two lots of tears and three flounces and this is all in the few hours after school and before bed. Throws a paddy about dinner then ends up enjoying it.
I am dreading her teenagers years

my son sounds just like your daughter. He is 10 in October. It's the rolling of his eyes that gets right on my wick. That and the shouting of 'NEVER' over and over again.
He loves to call me a Bitch too, and keeps telling me that i don't love him.
Bloody kids!

Good to know I am not alone in this! How do you deal with it? Whenever I try to talk to her to see what is behind the behaviour I get nowhere and it just causes more bad feeling. We need a referee most of the time. I can't do anything with her because with the moodiness and bad attitude it always ends badly so we hardly do anything together, we're just co-existing

I asked her to watch her brother and sister in the room next door while I got dinner on. It was a quick dinner and all she had to do was just make sure they didn't get into mischief. She got the hump and later on when I tried to smooth things over she accused me of always making her look after them and when was I going to look after them! She accused me of never looking after them and that she had to do it. I lost my rag because this isn't true and is a complete exaggeration, there's never any middle ground. But now I have probably made things worse as she just won't open up to me again. We're a million miles apart and I am dreading however many years I have left till she moves out

wibbly - It sounds as though you need to re-bond. My suggestion is that you find a time when she's not acting out, at bedtime and possibly when the lights are off, or low, and sit with her for a few minutes. Don't say anything, just be there with her. She needs you more than you need her, try to remember that, she's still a little girl. She can't help her attitude, she is probably upset with herself for treating you badly and probably wants you to control her.

Have you talked to school about it?