Sleeping arrangements with a newborn

[minipie]

Hi all

I'm expecting DC1 in December and trying to work out how it will work sleeping wise.

I would like to have DC in our room for the first 6 months or at least first several months. However, DH will be going back to work after a few weeks (hopefully a month), and he works long hours/stressful job and will be up for promotion so he will need to get a decent amount of sleep. He's not the heaviest of sleepers so I'm pretty sure he'll get disturbed if I'm up and down with a baby. In an ideal world I would prefer him not to move to another room for 6 months but just wondering if there is any other option.

I'd love to hear your solutions. Did you put DC in a different room? Did your DH/DP sleep in a different room (if so how long for?) Did you take DC out of the room when they woke up/needed feeding? Did your DH just wake up and then go back to sleep...?

A separate but related question - if you didn't feed DC in your bed, where did you feed them? Is a nursing chair worthwhile?

Thank you!

it was 3rd time lucky and i desrved her after ds and dd1!

dd still sleeps in her basket ar 22wks (5 and half months) and shes not tiny at 15lbs. you will need a new matteress. i think ours waa about £8 from babiesrus or mothercare.

If you move your baby to another room you baby will have an increased risk of SIDS, whereas if you DH moves he'll just get a better nights sleep .

We had both of our in our bedroom. DH started off sleeping in our bedroom but soon decided to take himself off elsewhere.

Don't buy too much outright as you really don't know what your baby's sleep temperment will be until they've arrived! My DD is 15 weeks and is a pretty high need baby who struggles with sleep. She also has reflux, though this is improving, and she had terrible, terrible colic until about 10 weeks...heartbreaking stuff! In the early days, DH and I had to sleep in shifts as DD could not settle on her back and had to be held upright to sleep. Eventually she began to settle on her side and started sleeping in 2 hour blocks. Now on a good night she will do 9-2, 3-5, & 6-7. We play musical beds all night! DD sleeps in bednest co sleeper cot, or bed shares with me if extremely unsettled. DH often decamps to spare room in the wee hours when wakings are more frequent. Sometimes I crash in spare room during the first half of the night if I'm extremely exhausted. DH stays in the bedroom with DD in that case and gives a bottle I've expressed. We are like ships in the night, and miss eachother a bit, but its not impacted relationship...we are affectionate outside of bed and creative with grabbing intimate moments round the house when we get the chance and aren't too shattered. I am lucky that DH feels I need equal sleep to his, despite having a demanding job and long commute. Sometimes, he actually prioritizes mine over his. He is a very hands on father and thinks that working in an office is much easier than all day baby care!

Hi Minipie,

Haven't read the other posts so I might just be repeating what others have said but nursing chair is a yes, yes, yes! I don't know how I managed with my first without one!

With both my girls, they went into their own room quite early by 1 month, it wasn't easy but I just thought "start how you mean to continue."

Oh and congratulations.

I'd say that if you think you can cope all night doing the feeds/jiggling/changes etc, and if your DH really can't be disturbed because of work, he should probably sleep in another room for a while. Babies settle down most of them after a few months - it's not forever!

FWIW, DS1 was 7 mo when we moved him into his own room. By then, he was waking once or twice between 8ish and 7ish. HE started sleeping through at about 9 mo, waking for milk at 5am and going back to sleep for another 3 hours. DH was a zombie for DS1's first few months - he took over at about 5am, took him downstairs and often went for walks with him in the sling while I caught up on sleep (breastfeeding). I know that DH was terrified of crashing his car on the way to work, because he was so tired.

DS2, we wised up. DH was beginning to get worried about sleep deprivation and safety again, so we decided to cosleep. In practice, this meant that DH was in the spare bed (sometimes with DS1 but that's another matter...) for 3 or 4 months. That was ok - neither of us had any illusions that we were going to breeze back into marital relations so soon. I was getting a decent amount of sleep, DH was sleeping too and he didn't crash his car. After the first few months, DH moved back into our bed and we all three slept together. He was rarely disturbed by night feeds. Cosleeping doesn't work out for everyone, but it's worth considering, if you've got a large bed.