So we've started potty training - come and tell me how we are doing and give me some hints and tips please!

[princelypurpleparrot]

DS is 2.8. we started last monday so have been going a week. He's been using the potty for a while and I think was definitely ready. He is very strong willed and his behaviour has not been great recently. One of his favourite words is no

He was very happy to start wearing pants. First day we had a few accidents. Second day he was at nursery and had no accidents, a couple the following day, then a lot the next day when he was at home.

Has had a "medium" amount of accidents since then.

We have a potty in the lounge and bedroom, and I've told him that's what he needs to use iif he wants to wee / poo. At nursery he uses the toilet (our loo seat is broken so not ideal to use that here), and apparently takes himself of there of his own accord most of the time. But at home he has very very rarely asked to use it.

I've been asking (badgering?!) him if he wants a wee / poo regularly. Occasionally he says yes, mostly no. we sit him on the potty or take him to the loo if we are about to go out / come home from somewhere and he'll usually do a wee.

I'm using stickers as a reward which he likes but tbh seems a little unbothered them.

So, what I'm wondering is;

• If he can take himself off at nursery, how can I get him to do that at home, or tell me if he needs to go?

- How often should I ask him if he needs the loo / put him on the potty? (it feels like I'm doing the "elimination communication" thing a lot of the time!) - What else could I use as a reward? I'm reluctant to use food-based treats.

He's in pull-ups at night but I have gone completely cold-turkey in the day and don't want to go backwards if we can help it.

So, what do you wise mn'rs think? [smile}

Whatever you do stick to the pants! It takes time! Does he have a small toy that he would really like? If so buy it for him and put it on a shelf he can see and tell him when he has a particular amount of stickers on his chart..1 per wee/2 for a poo! he gets the toy! Seeing it may be the bigger incentive he needs as he can obviously control himself if OK at nursery! You can then say 'is it time for a sticker' rather than do you need a wee! Worth a try!!

Whatever you do stick to the pants! It takes time! Does he have a small toy that he would really like? If so buy it for him and put it on a shelf he can see and tell him when he has a particular amount of stickers on his chart..1 per wee/2 for a poo! he gets the toy! Seeing it may be the bigger incentive he needs as he can obviously control himself if OK at nursery! You can then say 'is it time for a sticker' rather than do you need a wee! Worth a try!!

Thanks for that Joycie. I'm definitely sticking to the pants!

With the rewards, what you've suggested is a good idea but; he (being 2) is not very good at understanding that if he does x he will eventually get y. What i mean is, an immediate reward ie a sticker is ok, but if I showed him something bigger he may not understand why he couldn't have it right now. Could be worth a try though.

And yes to saying "sticker time" instead of "wee time". I'll start that tomorrow

I sing a silly song about what a big boy DS is for doing a wee on the potty every time he does one, which he seems to like more than any other reward!

We're having a ropy time with DD (3.2). She will use the potty if I put her on it, but never asks to go until it's too late. We've had 3 or 4 dry days in a row (with us putting her on potty every hour or so) and when we've gone out shopping we've put a pull up over her knickers (so she still feels wet but doesn't wee everywhere) and when we've come back (3 hours later) she's still been dry. However, poo is nowhere near... Nearly always in the knickers.

However, today we've already had 2 accidents - 1wee, 1 poo and I shouted at her :(

She gets stickers and chocolate buttons - 1 of each for a wee and 2 of each for a poo and when she gets 10 she gets a big sticker. 5 big stickers = 1 animal for her collection. If she takes herself and uses the potty alone, she gets 5 stickers!

Today I could cry!

Meant to say - we started last Monday too.

And she has mobility problems which makes the independent using of the potty harder for her. :(

They do respond differently in different environments, so you may not be able to do anything specific for him to go at home.

I offer the potty after naps (after a few mins to wake up properly), when she seems fussy (e.g. stopping feeding or climbing on and off things in quick succession) or goes to/touches/points at the potty, or every hour or two otherwise.

We do EC, but the following article applies just as much to potty training, so I would not use rewards at all.

www.nappyfreebaby.co.uk/beyond-the-basics/unconditional-parenting-and-ec

We started potty training our son at 2.6 (he's mow 3.4) as it was when he started to want to use the toilet instead of his nappy (he refused to use a potty and went straight onto his thomas tank-engine seat.) His reward would be big cheers and whooping, applause and daddy jumping around being rather silly. He loved this and would giggle away. He has probably only had 1 wet accident in the last 4 months, but he does persistently 50% of the time poo his pants. It got to a point where we started to get angry if he poo'd in his pants and he quickly reverted to pooing his pants most of the time. We changed tack and now just ask him why he poo'd in his pants and without further comment quietly and quickly clean him up, and give praise when he goes on the toilet. He's now pooing in his pants some 3 out of 7 days, so we have improvement. My point is, it takes time, quite a long time in some cases to get it right. Each child develops according to their own agenda, not ours unfortunately. Try not to shout of get annoyed (I know, easier said than done) as your child probably doesn't purposely wet/poo themselves, it is most likely because they are absorbed in playing or some other activity that using the potty becomes a low priority.

Fix your toilet seat.

If he uses the loo rather than the potty elsewhere then arrange it so he can do the same at home.

PS You shouldn't necessarily reward a young child for something they have little or no control over (ie weeing or pooing) - you should reward them for the behaviour ie sitting on the potty or toilet, or taking their pants down, or saying they need a wee.

Unless a child can tell you they NEED a wee (or poo, but poos tend to come later) then they aren't really ready to use the toilet reliably. If they are telling you that they've already been then they are on their way, and you can always offer the potty or toilet but don't make a big fuss if they don't produce anything because they've already been.

Sitting a child on a potty every 30-60 minutes isn't really toilet training, it's toilet timing. Be careful because if you sit them on it too often and they wee a little bit each time they don't get a full enough bladder to recognise the feeling of really needing to wee. It's important that the bladder stretches enough to send a strong "I need a wee" message to the brain.

I only suggested the reward because it appears he does have control as he uses the toilet independently at nursery. Otherwise I would agree with sidge re rewards. Also if you get cross they are getting attention for negative behaviour..so if you can clean them and change in silence and when they use the toilet/potty go OTT with attention!

Woohoo! We have progress! Twice today DD has taken herself off to the potty - both times we were talking about potty related things, but neither time did I ask her to go. Unfortunately the first time she was wearing her support leggings which, although they have a hole for going to the toilet, obviously made it tricky and wee came shooting over the top of her legs and onto her clothes! I've taken on board the comment about going too often making them unaware of the feeling of needing to go, so I've held off today and she's done 2 BIG wees. Hooray! Maybe we're making progress!