Need some help/guidance on how to address this with my DD

[bananaistheanswer]

I was at soft play yesterday with my DD and her friends for a birthday for one of them. There was another girl there aged 6 who I hadn't met before but whose mum was friends with the others. All the kids played together for about 3 hours and at one point my DD was telling me the boy whose birthday it was fidnt like this girl anymore as she was trying to kiss him and he didn't want to kiss her. We left soon after and really didn't think there was much more to it than that.

Today I've had a text from the boy's mum to say when they got home her son was really upset. The 6yr old girl told him that she wanted to have sex with him and made him touch her private parts, and she touched his. She was apparently telling everyone (kids) that she wanted to strip for the boys and was showing her privates to as many boys as she could. Her mum had said while we were sitting together that she had had to ban her 6 yr old from using the internet as she had found done dodgy YouTube stuff that the computer had froze on when it crashed. The bloody woman had given her DD her own laptop and left her unsupervised for god knows how long.

My friend is going to speak to the mum about what happened but I've not yet had the chance to speak to my DD about this. I don't yet know what she saw or what this girl said to her. I want to tread very carefully but I need a bit of guidance on how to approach this. My DD is 7 and is still very clueless about this stuff. I just need to get some pointers on how to approach this and not give her long term issues about sex, personal space etc.

Any helpful suggestions would be appreciated.

you need to create some quite time(sooner the better), without distractions,

in which she has your full attention,

and gentle broach the subject, see what she says,

then you can say that (boy's mother) was a little worried, and did she know if another child had upset him?

good luck

you should ask her what she seen this little girl do.

Tell her you have talked with the boys mum and she had said the little girl was doing some very rude and naughty things like showing her bottom (or what ever word is appropriate for genitals in your household).

Tell her that what the girl was doing is wrong and the child has some problems with correct bounderies as this is not how people should behave around each other.

Tell her the boy was upset by what had happened because the girl was making him feel uncomfertable and no one should be looking at or touching each others genitals or forcing anyone else to touch or look at each others genitals.

Explain If she ever sees or witnesses anyone behaving like this again she must tell you or anudlt she trusts staright away and remove herself and her friends from the situation.

I would not over worry about how this incident would affect her views on sex etc. I remember a friend of mine when I was a similar age doing a headstand on her bed and asking me if I could see her vagina and getting me to the same. My reaction was to just be a bit and giggling and telling my mum, I think my mum was more shocked than me.

Also my friends dd often drops her trousers and my friend just views it as naughty behaviour and nothing else. My dd just thinks it vile an a little imature, I do hone the message that it is more than to my dd and it shows a lack of appropriate bounderies. so your dd will probably form a sensible view of it any way at her age.

she tried to get me to do the same I didnt by the way, that wasnt very clear in my post

Thanks for the replies, very helpful. I don't think my DD was exposed to much of what went on as the girl seemed to be focussed on the boys. My DD spent some of time on her own (she gets into her own wee fantasy world playing games where she's Jessie from Toy Story) so I'm just not sure she was that aware. But, I suspect the girl would have said something, or at least the boy has said something to my DD, as she was trying to help him get away from the other girl towards the end of the day.

I'll see what she says when I pick her up from her holiday club later.

Thanks.