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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

4 week old HATES the car, what can I do?

13 replies

jenrose29 · 29/06/2012 11:24

My 4 week old despises being in the car. I always make sure is clean, fed and burped before she goes in but within 5 mins (sometimes immediately) she is crying hysterically. The only way around it is to put her into the car whilst she is asleep, but obviously that isn't always possible and isn't practical long-term either. I really have no idea what to do - leaving her to cry isn't an option. I've been pulling over and feeding her/cuddle her when she's been upset, but the furthest we've ever gone when she's awake is 10 mins without her being upset. Last night we were on a motorway and so couldn't pull over, she was screaming for about 15 mins to the point she made herself sick and do a poo :( Does anyone have any advice?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Bossybritches22 · 29/06/2012 12:12

Is her chair digging in to her somewhere, or the straps?

Try a dummy just for journeys?

She'll have to get used to it or you'll be a prisoner, I'm sure she will.

ImaCleverClogs · 29/06/2012 13:08

Ds was like this. He grew out of it but it took a long time (many months).

In the meantime we tried to only put him in the car when we had to. Of course this depends on where you live and your lifestyle. I can't drive so there was always two of us and my job was to frantically wave toys, sing, read stories etc.

I have heard some calm down with music on really quite loud.

Are you breastfeeding? I saw a link on here for how to bf them in their car seat, obviously not when you are driving though!

It was so stressful, especially getting stuck in traffic, you have my sympathy.

(Dh had earplugs for driving as he couldn't concentrate with the noise).

mumnosbest · 29/06/2012 13:12

watching with interest. DD is 5 months and still does this!

Becky2011 · 29/06/2012 15:01

My dd did a phase of this. Tried dummy to distract & played classical music. But what was best was a toy that had a mirror & flashing lights that I attached to the back seat. It was the flashing lights that enraptured her. After a while she was fine without anything. Good luck x it was the centre piece off a mamas & papas play mat, I haven't found any other toys that flash continuously like this though.

Original poster

jenrose29 · 29/06/2012 15:35

Yes am BF and did manage to feed her in traffic jam when DP was driving but school for my older daughter is over 2 miles away so too far to walk in the rain during the week so I have to drive. Hopefully by September baby will like it better :) Don't want to use a dummy so will get started on trying some toys!

OP posts:

mumnosbest · 29/06/2012 23:06

How can you bf in a carseat? I might not be all that pert after bf 3 dcs but not sure i could stretch this far!

ImaCleverClogs · 29/06/2012 23:15

Here is the video. Basically you lean forward and put your hand behind the baby to bring them forward and somehow you meet in the middle. Never tried it myself as I only saw this when ds was in the forward facing seat.

Would be interested to hear if someone has managed it for real.

zgaze · 29/06/2012 23:39

My DD was just like this, I bought some super-dark shade things for the back windows called windowsox and it improved the situation immediately. It must have been the flashing light as sun passed through trees etc, too much for her.

And I BF in the carseat all the time, it's totally doable. I lean over, grab round the headrest of the front seat with an arm to steady myself, dangle a boob in her face and she turns her head and latches on easily. Mind you I've been breastfeeding one child or the other for almost three years - I could probably sit in the front seat and sling a boob over my shoulder to reach the back!

RelaxedAndCalm · 29/06/2012 23:44

Grin and bear it. Keep doing it. It will improve. If you're lucky it might happen tomorrow. If not, it might take ages.

Check that the straps on your car seat aren't too tight (but you don't want them too loose either!) and temperature may make a difference. At this time of year I practically had my DCs in nappies and nowt else, maybe a vest, in the car.

Be prepared to stop to BF at unpredictable (and doubtless inconvenient times). I never BF in the carseat - wouldn't work for me. But I do often point out on journeys all the random places I have previously pulled over to BF in.

Once DC starts to get a routine going, try and plan to travel when they sleep - into the car awake, and they'll likely drop off soon after - makes life easier for everyone. I.e. straight after a feed generally.

By 6 months old both of mine had done multiple multi-hour journeys. Neither were keen in their first month. But needs must.

Good luck.

RelaxedAndCalm · 29/06/2012 23:46

p.s. may not work for you but we've never done toys in the car. I'm not really sure they're necessary. A mirror (so they can either see you, or themselves) should be enough. You can overstimulate at this age and being in the car is stimulation itself. My nearly 3 yo has still never had toys in the car and can quite happily entertain himself for a 3 hr journey. Sheep, cows, trucks....wow!

tappingmama · 30/06/2012 01:21

Oh my goodness! I remember this well. DS was shocking on car journeys and there were two things that made travelling possible...feeding on the move and a blanket over the car seat (obviously I was in the back making sure the balnket did not fall and cover his face - a sun visor would be a safe option if you can't be in the back too!!) It was partly flickering light through the trees but night journeys were difficult too. I remember leaving my parents house only to return five minutes later with a screaming baby...we would feed him even though he wasn't due so he was so zonked he would sleep through the journey home. A very stressful time indeed and it meant we had to travel together at all times but he just grew out of it. I wish I could remember how old he was when he grew out of it but I would guess he was around 6 months. Good luck - you are not alone! A friend of mine had the same problem and found a mirror toy helped.

ButtonBoo · 30/06/2012 09:26

DD was like this in the early weeks but it got much better when she got to about 2-3mo. We drove from London to Yorkshire and it took 7 hours as we had to stop at every other services!!

Agree with becky re using a toy for distraction.

And bfing in a moving car?! DC may not have teeth but those gums can be pretty hard!!

WeLoveHaribo · 01/07/2012 00:10

Both my babies hated the car. My first never really travelled well until changed seat round. He was small so was over 12mth. Both mine were/are light sleepers so if I got em to sleep they would wake at sound of seat clicking into place. Dd is nearly 5mth and still 4 out of 5 journeys crys/screams. She has dummy but if works self up it nomally comes out. I've tried toys, music blankets etc.
I sympathise with u it's v hard but I also don't stay in.

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