Naughty Children or Normal?

[butterflyexperience]

My 2 DD's are 4 & 2, highly energetic and stubborn.
I am at a lost at how to deal with them.

If i don't micro-manage every part of their day and behavior they will destroy, fight, shout, scream, be rude to me, not listen to me...

I use the naughty corner, count to 3...they dont care.

Im sick of it.

Advice?

It sounds pretty normal to me to be honest. 2 and 4 year olds together can be an explosive combination...

Can you give any specific examples of their behaviour? And what do you mean by 'micro manage'?

do you get fresh air and exercise every day? space to run and run and run?

Are you consistent and do you follow through?

Watching with interest. I could have weighed you op

That should have said written your op. This is what happens to my brain after a full day of 2 and 4 to Dds

OH this is me.

I have no advice. I've just been googling 'I can't cope with my kids'

The 4yo is just vile most of the time (yeah - I said it). She's just rude and nasty. I cannot get through to her. I'm on my own with most of the time due to DH's work pattern. I do work part time, and even CM said she's seen a 'defiant streak' recently.

I have no good strategies. Like you OP I try and organise the day to have fun/outdoor time/good food/quiet time/good bedtime routine blah blah blah.

I don't want to hijack the OP, but seems stupid to start a new thread, so I'd be really grateful to ride along and get some good tips.

2yrs and 4yrs is hard work. DS was absolutely foul to me in the summer before starting school, I couldn't quite believe it as he was (and is now) such a lovely boy. And all the bickering/fighting is tough when you worry about the youngest getting the worst of it.

Mine are now 3.5 and nearly 6 and it is a lot better. I'm able to ignore the fighting more and try not to get involved unless there is real injury. They can sometimes work things out themselves, and often play together well.

OP - is your 4yo about to start school in Sept? Mine is.

Rhinestone - when did you notice a difference?

I'm appalled at how awful everything is at the moment.

She's out of control, and so is my temper.

Yep, likewise - sorry I can't give advice OP but my two boys, 4 and 2, are basically the same, and my DH works long hours so am often going out of my mind and counting the minutes to Large G&T O'Clock from 4pm. For me the things that help are a) having company, b) making sure they've had lots of time outside or being active, c) reducing naps for 2 year old so he's properly tired at bedtime (which ideally is 6:30pm in my book!) and d) reducing snacks so they eat good meals and have a bit of telly time afterwards. Also ( I sound v privileged I know) letting them play educational games (counting / dot to dot etc) on the iPad / phone etc keeps them occupied so they're less likely to fight over toys erc. But some days they do reduce me to tears repeatedly and I could cheerfully put them out with the bins
One day at a time, one foot in front of the other and repeat to yourself 'this too shall pass'. It keeps me going at any rate!

oh I have 2 boys aged 3.2 and 4.5 (and 8 month old dd) and they are destroying me absolutely - have much empathy for you but no advice as i am a shouting, threatening bad mummy right now .

Starting school was a big turning point, DD actually looks forward to picking DS up at 3pm, things aren't so intense now we're not spending all waking hours together.

The first term of school was quite hard work as DS got really tired (he's a summer baby). All I seemed to be doing to start with was trying to get tea into him before the tears started. He was often in bed for 6pm

ooh 6pm bedtime? That sounds gooooood

Iam do yours not just fight over the iPad?

My DD has got up in the night, found my iphone (on top of a cupboard), and started playing with it. She then lied about it. Nice!

She is utterly obsessed with it so I try not to have it on show I may still check it in secret though

If she does have it legitimately for some reason it just gets ridiculous as she won't share it easily and it just goes wrong when the 2yo has his turn.

We have a holiday tomorrow (ha!) which involves a long journey. I'm tempted to buy them each their own sodding DS and just have some peace.

There is a version of Calpol that you can get that helps them sleep at night...a little spoon a breakfast can keep the mornings calm too ....

Rhinestone my 4yr old DS is an August baby, youngest in the school and so knackered most of the time. He's fine academically but finds the whole playground politics stuff overwhelming and very upsetting which means he can be an absolute sod when he gets home. On a good day I remember t be kind to him and gift him some slack but it's bloody wearing for all of us.

BigFatCushion they do fight over the iPad so we attempt to do 'taking it in turns' but usually one had my iPhone and the other has the iPad. I used to feel that using computers / phones etc to keep children quiet was deplorable but now, having reaped the whirlwind of my own judgemental nature (!) I think you do whatever you can to keep them amused.

Worth saying - a lot of the time, on a good day, my two boys adore each other, they ask for each other first when they wake up and when Ds2 goes to nursery he cries, not for me but for his big brother. They may fight but the love and friendship is ther underneath - worth looking out for and try to focus on that!!

Yes 4 yr old due to start school in sept.
She is bright and has lots of energy and if I dont channel her energy she's like a tornado...
She makes stupid nosies, screams, says rude words (bum, poo, wee), laughs like a banshee...
DRIVES ME BARMEY!
On the flip side is very kind and loving, I just don't have the energy to give her what she needs.

I have to admit I'm not consistant
I range from coming down hard to trying to ignore...

I don't know.
I find it exhausting trying to parent them both at the same time, so I just kinda give up

They do get excersie, sleep at 8ish (used to be 7 but they wont go to sleep that early now), fresh air, have friends.
I think I have kids that need to be micro managed and I dont have the energy or patience to do it :(

Yes - my DD goes in first thing in the morning to wake her brother up to start telling him off

We can set the iphone timer which they completely respect, can keep on taking turns, but then god help me when I want it back or need to change activity.

Urgh I feel just awful knowing how I behaved tonight. Just said to my DH I don't want to spend the weekend in such close proximity to DD. Relationships are so strained. He did say he'll take her off me so I can have a spa or something which might be nice.

yy Moog - what I found really interesting (and made my heart squeeze a little) was when DS having a post-school paddy recently and he looked up at me with a tear-stained face and said "At school I have people telling me what to do all the time then I come home and you tell me what to do all the time too". I know he is v well-behaved at school and the effort is just too much sometimes.

My mother keeps reminding me that he saves bad behaviour for me because he trusts me implicitly and knows I'll always love him. Still hard work!

OP - there's a weird comfort knowing we're not in isolation hey?

Interesting that there are a few of you that feel like me with this age range.

It's utterly exhausting.

When does it stop being this mentally knackering?

yes BigFatC, there is a comfort...

Rhinestone- that's so sweet what your ds said to you. Maybe thats what my DD feels like to and being at home she gets to let off steam...
But then Preschool says she's very boystrious & giggly there too [hmmm]

My DD's are 3 and 5 and I agree with Rhinestone - I'm able to ignore the fighting more and try not to get involved unless there is real injury. They can sometimes work things out themselves, and often play together well.

My 3YO will start school in September and we are having some monster 'out of control' tantrums.

I am hoping that after the inevitable first term meltdowns, things will settle down.

Rhinestone that made me want to cry - am sure that's how my DS1 must feel, he tries so hard at school and being the youngest means he's always at a disadvantage. Must cut him more slack, poor little fella.

Moog it did make me feel a bit :( He really loves school but I did feel uneasy (and still do a bit) at him going into full-time formal education at barely 4 years old.

I am hearing all of you. I've two boys 4.7yrs and 3.5yrs. I am at my wits end and have no energy to manage them like you Butterfly. Constant bickering, competition and defiance is actually making me unhealthy, anxious and stressed.

Hopefully school in Sept will make a difference. I really really hope so.